To not visit friends who have dogs and not allow dogs in my house?

[Zinni]

I don't like dogs much. I'm nervous around them especially big ones that jump up.

I also find them unbearably smelly indoors and hate getting dog hair/slobber on my clothes.

Three of my friends have dogs so I don't visit them at home. I don't feel comfortable being in the same room as the dog. I also have a 4-month-old and worry the dogs might try to sniff/lick him, I don't want them near him TBH as I don't trust them and worry they might suddenly lunge at him.

So I always turn down invitations to these friends houses. I'm too to explain I'm scared of the dogs! I've thought of asking them to shut dogs in another room but would this be rude?

Also my cousin is visiting soon (day-trip) to meet my son and said she will be bringing her dog, a German Shepherd cross. WIBU to insist dog stays in car?

Excuse me Lurked?! 'Pathetic and precious reasons'?! Let me see - she doesn't like dog hair and slobber on her clothes; she's nervous of large dogs which might jump up at her; and she doesn't want dogs licking her tiny baby. What part of that is pathetic?
I don't mind dogs myself though I'd never choose to have one and I agree with her on all of those! (Though toddler DS adores them and spent an entire week at my in laws demanding "lick hand" to their labrador while I ran after him with the hand gel)
OP - you need to be more upfront about it, you don't want to lose friendships because you're too polite to tell your friends you're not a dog person. And no way would I let a German Shepherd in my home with a small baby.

I wouldnt shut my dogs out of the house but I would make sure they were under control.

Yanbu for not liking dogs however I would be wary of passing this on to your DC! I can't imagine a phobia of something in everyday life is easy to live with.

I am not keen on dogs and do feel quite nervous around them. I blame this on being bitten as a young teen, by a previously friendly dog which i knew. The same dog went on to bite children in the family after that, within two or three days.

So, I understand.

My friends have always been great and all have initially kept the dog separate, and then its been a gradual introduction. One friend I see a lot has quite a fussy, reasonably big dog - but because it has been gradual I am more used to it and I feel happy to push him down if he tries to jump up at me, and i guess he is more used to me too so doesn't expect a huge fuss.

I will still not have any dog inside my house though. I have never had anyone ask to bring them tbh. I would say no if they did I'm afraid. It is my home and I don't want animals running round it, especially dogs which I feel less comfortable around.

I think working dogs are different. They are usually much more predictable and rarely, if ever, jump up. You are not encouraged to pet or make a fuss over working dogs when you meet them generally either.

It's your house! Who takes their dog to someone else's house FFS?

Of course YANBU

I wouldn't take my dog to someone else's house especially if they had a young baby and no dog themselves. I am more than happy to shut mine away if need be, they are ridiculously soppy but they love everyone and think everyone loves them which makes them annoyingly waggy and attention seeking for the first five minutes of meeting anyone.

Of course you're right not to want dogs in your house.

Please tell your friend in advance so she can leave the dog home though, it won't be nice for him to have to stay in the car.

I've a friend that doesn't like dogs and also a friend that doesn't mind dogs but stresses over getting dog hair on her.
I'm aware that my dog isn't needed on our catch ups, and he has no interest in the going ons in my friends lives. So if they are nice enough to come and visit me, poor doggy is put out the kitchen with a treat!
He's ok with this.
Tell your friends, I doubt they will mind at all!
Also its really not socially acceptable to take your dog to any house unless they have been actually invited! put your foot down with that one, its cheeky as!!

You're being totally reasonable in not having dogs you don't want in your house and not visiting homes with them.

I wouldn't be offended at all if you asked me to put my pooch in another room but I would hope you wouldn't be offended by me politely refusing.

Lurked - what, in your opinion then, is an okay reason?

FWIW, despite my dislike/distrust around dogs it has not rubbed off my DD at all. She's 13y and has always loved dogs. She's never really been nervous of them at all. She happily walks our friend's dog and plays with it.

When she was a baby, of course, I wouldn't have wanted a dog jumping up at her, or licking/touching her. I don't think babies and toddlers and dogs often mix - especially when it is just a random dog/baby who haven't been gradually introduced to one another over days and time, like I assume people do when they own dogs and have their own children.

I appreciate what you're saying, Rose, assistance dogs are fantastic and I think your MIL ibu.
However, assistance dogs don't come with some sort of anti-allergic spray on them. I've been hospitalized due to an allergic reaction to a dog.

I work as a nurse in a hospice and we have a weekly visit from a PAT (pets as therapy) dog. I've had to go home after one of these visits I was so ill, which meant my patients suffered and my colleagues had to take over. And only one patient wanted to see the bloody dog anyway
So no, yanbu. Dog lovers tend to assume that we all love dogs. We don't.
Make it clear that the dog stays in the car, OP.

You don't have to visit homes with dogs if you're scared of them. But YABU not to tell your friends the truth. "I was embarrassed to admit it before, but actually I've got a real thing about dogs and I get terribly nervous around them, so thanks very much for the invitation but I'm afraid I don't think I can visit."

If they then kindly volunteer to keep the dog penned in another room while you visit then that's fine. If they say "Oh that's a pity" but don't volunteer then you're no better off but at least they don't think you hate them. If they kick off on some "how dare you insult my ten stone fur baby" rant then you're probably both best off without each other.

Rose- I doubt many people who are scared of dogs would be bothered by a trained assistance dog. My friends who are scared of dogs don't like that they can be unpredictable, barking and jumping up at things. Your post is totally off point.
Your dd's mil sounds strange.

My dog is a PITA locked in another room so I'd just arrange to meet you elsewhere. Or arrange to visit on a morning he was with the dog walker.

I have three big dogs and I absolutely adore them. I take them anywhere I can with me. I would totally understand this, although think it's a shame for you, but I'd want you to just be honest. People who admit they don't like dogs are fine. That's easy to work around - you can just come to theirs each time and bring lots of cake to make up for not reciprocating if they can't even come to the house with the dogs put away in another room. It's the people who pretend they're fine and then just start making excuses not to see you that are annoying and hurtful. Just tell her, see if she'll leave it at home, or see if you can compromise on her tying it up in the garden providing you don't have to go near it.

OP, I would perhaps consider exploring ways to control your phobia. It's not something you want to pass on to your DD, that's unfair on her.

I wouldn't shut my dog away but I would understand if someone decided not to visit because of that.

OP have you been watching Extreme Phobias Extreme Cures on TV? The next episode is about people who are terrified of dogs and want to conquer their phobia. Might be an idea to watch it. Not suggesting you have to go anywhere near dogs if you dont want to though, why should you?

Yanbu. I feel the same way about people with dogs. There's no way I'd be able to have a dog in my home. A couple of times someone's brought their dog into work and I've had to say I can't handle the dog being around me.

OP, I think it's fine to tell people you aren't comfortable around their dogs. It's up to them what happens next though, maybe meeting outside the home is better for all.

I am not sure about the cousin though, leaving the dog in the car doesn't seem right. Could you arrange a shorter visit or maybe she would rather leave her dog at home or with someone else?

I think people generally need to accept if you're scared of dogs.

I have 2 dogs, would never dream of taking them to someone else's house and always shut them away when we have people round unless I know they're 'doggy' people. I wouldn't think badly of you at all if you asked me to put my dogs in another room when you visited or not bring my dogs to your house OP, just tell your friends and particularly your cousin how you feel.

YANBU

Certainly wouldn't take m

As I said, being nervous is fine, I have and would keep my dog out of the way. Making judgements about me, by implying my dog would lunge at your baby is absolutely your right. Just don't expect me to pander to it, or remain friendly with someone making assumptions about my ability to keep a baby safe. It also implies I was/ am careless with my own childs safety. I wouldn't expect to ask someone to keep their adult male family members out of the way if I visit with dd because I'm frightened they are potential sex offenders and remain on friendly terms. Although I don't tend to be the ott nervous type jumping to conclusions about everyone.

apple yes, dogs can bite, and it's always entirely the fault of a human. So by assuming it's a danger, you're assuming the owner is at fault. Statistically children are far more at risk from family/ trusted friends, although harm that leaves deeper scars than a dog bite.

hula saying 'I know there is no reason but I can't help being nervous round dogs' or similar is fine. Or if you/ a loved one etc have been attacked and it's an understandable ott fear.

(Whoops!) Certainly wouldn't take mine to somebody else's house. However, I also wouldn't shut them away for visitors.

Personally, I don't like people who don't like dogs! I love dogs! I love people who love dogs! Kids who grow up with animals are cool! So there! Grrrrrrrr!