What would make you uncomfortable as a house guest

[0christmastree5]

I don't want to say much but have an unwanted house guest, how can subtly make them leave of their own accord? I'm too cowardly to say FO

[Wineandrosesagain]

Clearly the DH is the problem here. I would suggest YOU tell the 'friend' you now need some family time and can no longer accommodate him. At all. Please go home. Seriously, I would be beyond caring what size of an argument with not-so-D H ensured - I'd say bring it on.

Alternatively, suck it up and buy some new slippers.

Sorry to sound so unsympathetic Op, but blimey, you should have kicked the bastard out long ago.

[OTheHugeManatee]

OMG OP. You have a serious husband problem. He wanders around in his pants, makes sneering comments about 'women's work' and wears your SLIPPERS????? He has to go

[GruntledOne]

I feel so bloody guilty now to think I've upset their friendship.

You haven't, really, because this isn't "friendship" in the normal sense of the term. How many of your friends would you expect to have welded to your side with your DH waiting on them hand and foot after a hard day's work, to the extent of doing their washing and lending his slippers? I don't really know how you could describe this relationship, to be honest, but it would definitely be much better if it would revert to a normal friendship - i.e. with the other person having his own home and life and just meeting up occasionally with your DH and only coming to your house if you invite him.

OP, I hope you've made it absolutely clear that you won't be washing the friend's things, or cooking for him, or in fact doing anything for him at all?

[fluffiphlox]

You could also remind them that this is 2016.
I'm quite liking the thought of man in tatty y fronts and (maybe) pink bunny slippers.

[Schwabischeweihnachtskanne]

If it wasn't for the cultural expectations theme this would sound rather as if the "friend" is actually trying to take on the "wife" role, but with OP sticking around, demoted to " unpaid maid, laundress, cook, housekeeper and nanny" (so domestic slave then...) with the side benefit you also bring money into their home...

He sits in your seat in the car, in the front next to DH while you sit in the back.
He sits in your seat at the dinner table while you serve him and his DH dinner.
He sits in your place on the sofa, sprawls out and sleeps there so you can't sit on the sofa.
He wears your slippers.

If you'd taken yourself off to the B&B he'd have moved into your bed, wearing your nightwear...

Not saying its a sexual relationship obviously - sounds rather as if he wants to be in the OP's "place" in a whole lot of very literal senses though!

[2rebecca]

I agree this "friend" definitely wants to be the number one person in her husband's life. He's behaving as though he's staying with them for a 1 week holiday not as though he's moved to the UK for the foreseeable future.
He sees himself as having a more dominant role in the OP's house than the OP and does seem to just view her as the house servant.

[Kit30]

Worse than unwanted houseguests - unwanted holiday house guests invited by DH every year despite protests by me and children. How can we 'persuade' him to stop? Btw we rent here in uk for a couple of weeks because DH not keen on flying ( although okay for business which he 'must' do. Guests don't lft a finger and expect to be entertained to boot. Divorce looming

[StayWithMe]

Stop doing anything for him. He wants guests, he looks after them.

[0christmastree5]

Schw ... That's creepy..... Creepy you are so right

[GeekLove]

I was going to say what schwab said...

Can you access the joint account if you have one? Take yourself and the children to a nice hotel at H's expense?

But really I would be bagging up his friends stuff and putting it out the back.

[fluffiphlox]

Is your house guest still in residence?

[OhWotIsItThisTime]

I think it's odd that your dh is allowing you to be treated like this. I would not put up with this.

Tell your dh you need to talk. And ffs stop doing this man's laundry and start pulling him up when he puts you out. You are not a servant.

[Wauden]

I know this is thread dates back, but I would be interested to know what happened.