DH asking me to leave the house

[Hartofpixie]

My normally lovely DH has two work colleagues - he's worked with them for many years. One (Belinda) is happily married and we occasionally see her and her DH socially. The second (Claudia) is very single, and has always had a bit of a thing for my DH (she told him once, and he very politely let her down gently).

Claudia sometimes invites the wider working team round in the evening. I have never been invited. DH feels he needs to reciprocate, and has told me he is going to invite them both round for an evening meal. All fine, apart from he just told me I have to go out that evening? It's -4? On a Monday?

So AIBU or is that extremely weird and rude?

If you trust your DH then what's the problem

Who wants to be asked to leave their house; twiddle their thumbs for a couple of hours whilst dh entertains two colleagues [one of whom fancies him] in your own bloody home.

WTF?

I'd tell my husband to fuck off if he were to suggest I leave my house so he could entertain anyone, much less two ladies.

Tell him to fuck off.

Not even about trusting him but about it being fucking freezing.

although it would make me suspicious

How completely strange

No advice, just marking place to wait and be dazzled by his 'logic' :o

Maybe he's embarassed about other woman's flirting and doesn't want you to see it and get upset?

Did he suggest you go out, or tell you to go out?

Theres a world of difference between "Im having a works dinner, why not go out to a movie or see your friends?" and "Im having a works dinner from 5-9, ill need you to be out of the house until then".

(she told him once, and he very politely let her down gently).

What happened here, exactly? Was this a 'cor you're dishy but married eh? Just my luck' kind of telling him or more like a proposition. The first I could be okay with but the second would be a 'wtaf are you doing having this woman in our house'

Hopefully you all tell OP she's rude and to get to fuck and fuck off etc when she "suggests" DH leaves when she has a girls night then if as some say it's not about trust but the cheek of it

OP does the exact same and hardly a things said that this is essentially seen as the norm in the house

Has no one ever had a rather go out when you have friends over? Happens regularly here.

Partner*

There is a difference between "You might want to go out on Friday as the girls are coming over!" in a lighthearted "you know what we can be like" way and "I want you out of the house on Friday as I have invited 2 women from work over".

Totally different imo.

Choosing to go out is different to be told to go out.

Very different.

If my DH informed me of this I would tell him he would be serving up his own balls on a platter.

overly invested in this thread

Must know what DH is thinking! I assume it's just a case of him thinking you'll be bored as they'll just talk about work.

WahhHelpMe Exactly. If the OP's husband was to tell her to "Fuck off" the next time she suggests he goes out when she has her friends round there'd be cries of "LTB!" from some people on here.

There isn't a chance in hell Id let someone who had already made a pass at DH come to my house and DH ask me to leave. Does your DH have a friend who fancies you? Ask DH how he'd feel if he came over and you asked DH to make himself scarce. If he doesn't immediately realise how inappropriate that would be Id be concerned.

If I had friends coming round for a giggle and gossip, I might joke that DH might want to go out.

If I had a bloke coming round who had openly told me he fancied me then I would expect DH to tell me to fuck right off.

It's just weird. And wrong.

If dh wanted mates round we'd all sit together or I'd watch tv upstairs.

Even if the woman made a pass doesn't mean anything will actually happen. Surely you trust your DP?

Lynnm63 there is another woman coming too and he's not interested in the one who fancies him. The OP trusts her DH I'm sure.

If I was the woman that had openly told the DH I fancied him and his wife went out I would think she was very wet and pliable. So it's not just about trusting the DH it's how you want to be perceived.

Right - update. Spoke to him on the phone. Previous communications were via email. He suggested me going out because he thought they would end up chatting about work and I would find it dull. Nothing more sinister.

He said I was completely welcome to join and perhaps I might be able to make the conversation less work (in a good way). So a storm in a teacup i guess. I have been enjoying the ideas on here immensely. If Claudia was Claudia winkleman i would be kicking DH out because she is my best friend destiny.

For what it's worth it was not about trust or anything like that. Just the cheek of being booted out on a weeknight with nothing to do.

Also he is always delighted for an opportunity to go to the cinema or whatever so the reverse is less of a kicking out.

What is on the aunties headstone? Might have missed that!!

I love how this woman is assumed to be all sorts, for all we know she could have said that to him and his response may have been that he is married and it was left at that

Glad it's sorted! Email can leave out subtle things...

Gruntfuttock I find that odd too, even for lunch - but the bit that's odd is that she cooked the meal, and then left. Like some kind of caterer. I figure if your partner is cooking, they would be eating (unless she really was a professional caterer or chef, that makes more sense), otherwise the host would figure out a way to obtain food themselves.