DH asking me to leave the house

[Hartofpixie]

My normally lovely DH has two work colleagues - he's worked with them for many years. One (Belinda) is happily married and we occasionally see her and her DH socially. The second (Claudia) is very single, and has always had a bit of a thing for my DH (she told him once, and he very politely let her down gently).

Claudia sometimes invites the wider working team round in the evening. I have never been invited. DH feels he needs to reciprocate, and has told me he is going to invite them both round for an evening meal. All fine, apart from he just told me I have to go out that evening? It's -4? On a Monday?

So AIBU or is that extremely weird and rude?

[PaulAnkaTheDog]

Well that's rude. He can't just ask you to leave your own home, just so he can entertain!

[knobblyknee]

I am very tempted to stay in but tell him I'll stay upstairs and keep wafting in and out wearing and doing unlikely and embarrassing things.

YES!
Streak through the living room. My Auntie did that once when the World Cup was on and the Pearl Insurance man had turned up. We never let her she never lived it down. Its actually on her headstone.

[StillStayingClassySanDiego]

I assume you meant -4 as in temperature outside?

When you tell him you're staying in is he going to get twattish towards you?

[handslikecowstits]

What will he say OP if you refuse to leave? I'd definitely refuse.

[Hartofpixie]

Oh yes as in very chilly out in the evenings at the moment. I think I'd feel a bit different if it was a sort of lads evening. But good to know I am not BU.

No he won't be twatty about it, I just haven't got to the heart of it yet. Perhaps my charming / blunt ways are less charming than I thought?

[LadyLuck81]

Do you think he's thought through how this looks and sounds to you. To him it may well be a 'work colleague evening so I'll ask DW to go out for a drink' whereas to you it has a very different outlook.

Why not just point out that how you feel. If he isn't horrified then refuse to go anyway as he's a twat. If he is then you know it was lack of thought and you can compromise without it becoming a big deal.

[MilkTwoSugarsThanks]

Tbh I'd agree to go out, make all the right noises, then just stay in.

[Toria2014]

Thats very weird. I'd be very pissed off if my DH tried to pull something like that! And suspicious....

[blaeberry]

Is he expecting you to cook the meal before you go?

[StillStayingClassySanDiego]

Where does he expect you to go?

[Katedotness1963]

Ummm, no! Won't the women think it's odd if you're not there? I would. Honestly, I'm trying to think what my reaction would be if my husband told me I'd to leave the house for the evening because he was entertaining other women...pretty sure it would be along the lines of "I don't bloody think so, pal"!

[expatinscotland]

WTAF? You just tell him NO, I won't be leaving my own house. They can meet in a restaurant.

[SuperFlyHigh]

No is a 2 letter word.

[chrome100]

Bit weird.

I will often go out when my DP has mates around just because I don't want to be bored hanging about in the house with them/keeping out of the way, but he would never demand it!

[SuperFlyHigh]

I'd also be wondering if he or Claudia were planning on flirting with each other (you know harmless funny flirting).

[AyeAmarok]

Very rude and weird.

If you go to a colleague's house, then surely you expect the people who live in that house to be there!

How odd. He might be feeling uncomfortable having his wife there when the woman who fancies him is there, but unless he wants to encourage her feelings, he can't hide you away.

[justmyview]

Fair enough Claudia doesn't invite you to a meal at her house with colleagues

Fair enough DH wants to invite colleagues for dinner

Weird to ask you to go out

[goodnightdarthvader1]

If you invite people to your family home it's usually to, y'know, meet the family. Otherwise he can book a fucking restaurant. That's lunacy.

[Finola1step]

My dh often has work people round as he works from home. We have an agreement that this is fine but, it is our home first. So I just get on and do what needs to be done. There is no way my dh would ask me to leave the house. Flipping cheek.

[StillStayingClassySanDiego]

I take it there are no dc's in the house to turf out either?

[Hartofpixie]

I'm not bloody cooking a meal I'm not invited to! I hadn't even thought about that!

I suspect he's done as ladyluck says and just been a bit thoughtless. I can't imagine for a minute he's got an agenda with Claudia. I've just emailed him asking whether there is a particular reason I need to be out. Will be interested to see what he says.

In his slight defence, occasionally I suggest he goes out if my girlfriends are coming over for some wine. But equally I don't mind if he lurks upstairs watching a DVD / or comes to top up our glasses.

I think this is different though.

[AnotherTimeMaybe]

So just him and those two? Haaaaaa that's the best story I've read on MN!! He's just amazing to ask that!!! Is he going to cook for them? does he cook for you?
Tell you what say yes!! And two minutes before they come tell him you're down with a tummy bug!!!!

[Sansoora]

He's bonkers and needs to be told you wont be vacating your home for anyone!

[AcrossthePond55]

Exactly why does he think you need to leave? Does he work for the CIA or something? They're all undercover spies? What earthly reason could he have given you that he thinks makes sense for his request?