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AIBU?

DH asking me to leave the house

200 replies

Hartofpixie · 15/01/2016 14:03

My normally lovely DH has two work colleagues - he's worked with them for many years. One (Belinda) is happily married and we occasionally see her and her DH socially. The second (Claudia) is very single, and has always had a bit of a thing for my DH (she told him once, and he very politely let her down gently).

Claudia sometimes invites the wider working team round in the evening. I have never been invited. DH feels he needs to reciprocate, and has told me he is going to invite them both round for an evening meal. All fine, apart from he just told me I have to go out that evening? It's -4? On a Monday?

So AIBU or is that extremely weird and rude?

OP posts:

Report

SistersOfPercy · 15/01/2016 23:50

Resolved!?
Oh and I was just about to suggest you go on a spa evening

Wagglebees · 15/01/2016 22:22

Pfft

DadOnIce · 15/01/2016 20:58

My previous post about threesomes was in jest. I actually think this is a Boring Work Thing and he actually wants you out of the way because, well, sometimes people do want their families out of the way when they have to do a Boring Work Thing at home.

Look, they're probably going to be talking about the end-of-year reconfiguration analyses and the net turnover whatsit and the maximisation of the incentivisation of the upscaling of the blue-sky-thinking of the outside-the-box department. It would bore me shitless. I'd want to be out of the house.

Forget the fact that it's Claudia and Belinda - they're work colleagues. It could just as easily be Colin and Bob. Aren't you pleased your DH has happy working relationships/friendships with women in whom he has no sexual interest? Aren't such things supposed to be healthy?

knobblyknee · 15/01/2016 18:55

*rolls eyes. Everything about this is screwy.

Writerwannabe83 · 15/01/2016 18:38

Major anticlimax to the thread.

You said he'd told you to go out.

I was looking forward to hearing his logic but it transpires that he hadn't actually said that anyway

daisychain01 · 15/01/2016 18:34

oops sorry StaywithMe, rather a xpost there!

daisychain01 · 15/01/2016 18:33

He asked me / he suggested ... is a world of difference to "He told me"

as in "you have to go out".

Does anyone in RL really order their DP to leave their home in favour of strangers/guests??

goddessofsmallthings · 15/01/2016 18:24

I'm with Stay.

You're now saying that "Previous communications were via email" but that when you were subsequently on the phone to him "He suggested me going out because he thought they would end up chatting about work and I would find it dull".

I fail to see how you could have read his email as him having told you to go out Are you overdue for a visit to the optician?

StayWithMe · 15/01/2016 18:12

FFA OP there's a big difference between your DH telling you to go out and suggesting you might like to go out! You gave the impression it was a demand.

Saukko · 15/01/2016 18:07

Why do the ladies invite 'the wider working team' but he just invites two?

eloquent · 15/01/2016 18:01

I still wouldn't want her in my home. But that's me.

Op, i hope you have a nice evening.

whoreandpeace · 15/01/2016 17:58

If you DH wants to do worky things at home in the evening on a cold January evening then he must expect that you will be there since you live there. Only go out if you want to go out, but I would be there keeping a cool eye on that Claudia woman.

My DH invited a businessy contact round over Christmas (he was passing through our town) plus his DW (who is also involved in their business) and then got cross when I stayed and chatted with them in our living room. I even asked the contact if he needed me to leave to have worky chats with DH and he said no. DH was livid afterwards that I had hung around. I explained to him that he might not have noticed but I lived there and that disappearing off would have looked rude, that the contact asked me to stay and chat with them and that if he wanted to have worky meetings then he needed to have them off site. He admitted that this is what he should have done and he apologised. Your home is your home, OP.

looking forward to update about Claudia on Monday though

NNalreadyinuse · 15/01/2016 17:50

Sorry OP but I still think it is inappropriate thst he is inviting to your house a woman who has expressed a desire to take things further with your husband. Who says that to a married colleague?

WahhHelpMe · 15/01/2016 17:43

Lol OP (who knows him best) ,comes back and clarifies that it was a misunderstanding and that In fact the DH thinks it may actually be better if she's there ( and also if not she had suggested the same ), and people still seem to somewhat doubt his character

I'm torn between deciding whether some posters have an issue trusting this particular DH or just have a low and suspicious view of men in general

coconutpie · 15/01/2016 17:33

So one of these women has told him they have feelings for him and he still continues to have dinners with them? Right.

Twinkie1 · 15/01/2016 17:25

Damn missed your update.

I'd stay in and join them being v touchy feely to DH whilst pointedly giving Claudia the eye.

Gruntfuttock · 15/01/2016 17:25

Oh for goodness' sake!

Twinkie1 · 15/01/2016 17:24

Leave them to it and stay upstairs pleasuring yourself very loudly.

Anyone who told me I had to vacate my own house, unless there's a pest problem or a fire of course would get told to FOTTFSOF.

Gruntfuttock · 15/01/2016 17:23

murmuration Well she certainly wasn't treated like a caterer. We all expressed our thanks for the lovely meal to her husband, asking him to pass it on. We also, insisted on washing and wiping up and when we got back to the office afterwards we immediately arranged for a large bunch of flowers to be sent to her with our thanks. I can't remember if wine and/or chocolates were also sent as it is many years ago.

Fuckthetaps2 · 15/01/2016 17:22

Like I said if she didn't know he was married when it was brought up and nothing more came of it after he told her, no I would nother have a problem

Hartofpixie · 15/01/2016 17:17

Grunt no I meant less of a kicking out than people had assumed.

OP posts:

JohnLuther · 15/01/2016 17:16

As usual there's a load of hysterical bollocks posted with a few posters talking sense.

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Gruntfuttock · 15/01/2016 17:14

Having read your update, the situation is precisely as I thought. There was no need for the nastiness, suspicion or aggressiveness towards the OP's husband whatsoever.
OP you talk about "the reverse is less of a kicking out" but he wasn't "kicking you out" or trying to, was he?

SuperFlyHigh · 15/01/2016 17:13

Fuckthetaps so you seriously have no problem with a woman colleague telling a married man that she has a thing for him?! Alrighty....

whattodowiththepoo · 15/01/2016 17:12

Good to hear hart, felt like people had been over reacting on here as usual.

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