AIBU to feel sorry for my brother?

[Dunkin]

I've been reading mumsnet for a while so I thought I'd take the plunge and join your little online community!

I want to start off regarding my younger brother. He's a well educated, good looking and fit guy (I'm hardly going to say anything to the contrary! Lol). Anyway, he has informed my mum that he intends to go to the states soon and have children via a surrogate.

The whole thing makes me feel sad. He has no problems attracting good qualify women around his age (32) that could hopefully lead on to more in terms of starting a family but he is adamant that he wants to have children this way. He has severe trust issues around women that I don't understand. There has never been any infidelity or abuse in our family. Parents happily married for over 40 years. Me and my two other sisters are happily married with kids also. He has never been cheated on either.

He brings women to family gatherings all the time who seem all doughy eyed about him but he dumps them after a few months. He's never been in a LTR. loads of women mind you, but never anything serious. The surrogacy news has come as a shock to our family - we all think it has to do with him making the decision to retire (he's been very very successful working in finance at a young age).

I did manage to speak to him earlier this morning. He seems to be hung up on how a woman will take all his money and turn him in to a weekend dad - stories planted in his head by divorced older colleagues and friends who have been cheated on in marriage.

So my question is how do I get him to take step back and help him get over his fears about women? How do I get him to understand that women that mess you about are in the minority. Am I wrong to feel that a child needs a mother in his/her life as well as a father? Thanks in advance.

Your brother is a misogynist

I'm a lady.

I'm sure someone has said all this, but if he wants to look after the child himself (and he can, if he has been able to retire) then he would still be likely to be the RP a child conceived by "normal" means in the event of a split. He wouldn't owe his ex much if they weren't married and he remained RP.

He wouldn't have to give up work or all outside-family activities completely. He could be the primary carer of a school age child and still work, with some light after school childcare if he wanted, as if he is rich enough to retire he is rich enough to structure any work he wants to do to dovetail with caring responsibilities.

He's got the freedom to do whatever he likes without having to spout misogynist beliefs about gold diggers and / or make a woman's body into an object for commercial exploitation

39 I must have misunderstood you - thought you were saying that paid surrogacy should be illegal.

Just a thought, but you really might wish to keep that opinion to yourself around these parts

So you don't disagree, you just find that some men may be offended so it shouldn't be said.

A straight man paying to use a women's vagina for sexual pleasure and a gay man paying to use a women's reproductive organs to make the product of sexual reproduction.
Very similar to prostitution IMO just the other way around.

Would anyone want their daughters to be a commercial surrogate?

He is either gay or, he is exactly like an Ex I had. Women were for entertainment only, then dumped once thrill of the chase subsided. I found it sad but he seemed to have no problem with it,he told me he "led the perfect life"