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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be thinking about calling off the wedding over a "wedding watch?"

362 replies

watchwouldyoudo · 13/01/2016 14:01

,e and DH are getting married this summer. we set a budget of £20000 and are so far below that budget. we agreed at the start that anything left over would be used as spending money on our honeymoon.

DH came home the other day looking very proud of himself and said that he got himself a wedding watch. Ive never heard of such a thing, and he said that because were well under our budget that he could afford to buy himself a watch for the big day. he likes his designer watched and has a case with at elast 10 on his dresser (all rolex, omega etc).

the watch he bought cost £4000! His reasoning was that my dress, ring, shoes, hair, makeup and bridesmaids dresses/shoes/gifts cost more than his watch did and were still under budget. wed still leave us with 1000 to take on our honeymoon. I am absolutely fuming that he'd spend so much money just on himself. we had a big row and he went to sleep round his mums place (didnt even take the watch wtih him). im seriously considering calling off the wedding. how can he not see this from my point of viwe?

OP posts:
VoldysGoneMouldy · 13/01/2016 21:10

CRYING at 'vagina recliner'!! [Grin]

londonrach · 13/01/2016 21:12

Wow...wow...wow...i enjoyed reading this story. Sounds very mills and boom. Not sure id want to be a lady who lunches. Sounds abit boring if you did it every day but surpose depends on your friends. I think id miss the intellectual interest work wise. Back to op question...both watch and dress are over to the top re price. However dress for one day to watch (who spreads 4k on a watch? Or for that fact almost 4k on a dress) that you wear for life the watch is better value. Talk to him op re budget. However if op is for real id be mostly concerned about the not working bit!

Viviennemary · 13/01/2016 21:16

I've heard of this tradition of watch buyiny but usually buying a watch for each other. I think he's got a point if your dress and shoes and so on cost the earth. And if you also have an expensive engagement ring. Sounds as if money is something you don't really see eye to eye about. Haven't read the thread so don't know where the £20K came from.

50000LiraForMyThoughts · 13/01/2016 21:19

There's only one way to resolve this really and that's to wear your wedding dress every day for a few years, as he will with the watch (obviously) and so you both get maximum vfm.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 13/01/2016 21:32

R.e. wearing of wedding dress to maximise vfm.. A suitable 'day' look would be to pair it with casual DMs and a worn denim jacket. Take this look from day to night with the addition of smokey eyes.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 13/01/2016 21:35

50000LIRA This takes 'How To Look Expensive' to another level Grin

PuntasticUsername · 13/01/2016 21:39

I just thought, though. I am unable to brag about my achievement to anybody irl as atm nobody knows my nn and I would bloody OUT MYSELF.

This is the worst thing that has ever happened to me.

munkisocks · 13/01/2016 21:40

I vote for beaver diva

50000LiraForMyThoughts · 13/01/2016 21:44

I totes win Puntastic. Screw you!

littleleftie · 13/01/2016 21:50

OP do you ever take buggies on trains?

Chippednailvarnish · 13/01/2016 21:58

little are you non London? Grin

HairySubject · 13/01/2016 22:06

If you call the wedding off can I have the dress to play dress up in please OP?

PuntasticUsername · 13/01/2016 22:08

No no no, I won! We already established that!

MISS, MISS, SHE'S BULLYING ME.

Only1scoop · 13/01/2016 22:11

Blimey these threads are rife

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 13/01/2016 22:17

I was a close second.

RivieraKid · 13/01/2016 22:30

(think I may have been a lukewarm third - accepts award in shape of unhappy plexiglass kitten)

momb · 13/01/2016 22:30

YANBU to be considering calling off the wedding.
20k is a huge amount of money but it was a gift to the two of you for a wedding. The issue here is that your OH did not consult you before spending 1/5 of the budget on a gift for himself. Further you follow this up with the info that you aren't working and he controls all the money...and that he doesn't want to wear a wedding ring.
Just be careful that you aren't setting yourself up for a fall regarding financial and emotional control. 1K isn't a huge budget for spending money for a honeymoon/holiday of a lifetime. it is a hell of a lot of money for a watch for someone who has several designer watches already.....

Gazelda · 13/01/2016 22:55

Isn't it traditional for the bride to have the groom's wedding watch engraved with a personal message to mark their wedding day?

You lot are brilliantly creative literists (is that a word? - in my head it means 'people who are marvels with words and such) so I'm sure you could compile a list of snappy and romantic words that will mark the big day appropriately.

OP and her husbtobe can look fondly at the watch and recall the memories as they lie side by side on their Haven Holidays beachside loungers.

While the maid does the housework, obvs.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 13/01/2016 23:18

"Dear husband, You bought this watch as a sign of your commitment.Buy me a more expensive one and all is forgiven, x

ComposHatComesBack · 13/01/2016 23:27

I'm looking forward to the AIBUs from the guests when they turn up the the lavish wedding where £20k has been spent on dresses, watches and hairdos but no thought has been given to the guests who are starving and have to pay for their own booze.

Or my cousin's wedding. Money lavished on cars, dresses, make up, table settings. The meal was a bbq of the cheapest cuts of meat done in the venue carpark by the bloke who ran the local chippy. Not enough reception drinks and the booze cost an arm and a leg at the bar, plus naff poem asking for money for the honeymoon (naturally). At the time it seemed they wanted a hello style photoshoot and the guests were little more than scene dressing.

sleeponeday · 13/01/2016 23:33

So you have a huge house, no need to work, he's a high earner? Who owns Omegas, Rolexes, etc, and would anticipate a maid? And you mention geographic locations that indicate this is all in the UK?

And the wedding dress was £3.7k, he's spent £4k, and £1k is left from the £20k wedding fund?

You talked about bridesmaids, ring, shoes, hair and makeup, a gift for you, flowers for the wedding party and venue. Presumably the groom and best man will be having nice suits, as well as your parents and his. It's clearly an all-frills wedding. So you need to add on invitations, order of service, favours, table arrangements, cars, photographer, music (band or DJ), the venue, the cake, the meal, wines, snack food for later in the evening. How are you paying for all of that from just £11k? Confused I mean, I had a very small, very cheap wedding, and we had change from what you spent on your dress... but the people I know who had the sort of event you are talking about had no change from well over £30k. They saved for a couple of years to pay for it, and they were both on a really good salary at the time.

Your sums seem a bit odd, tbh.

Cabrinha · 13/01/2016 23:36

Get a job you lazy freeloading mare!

His money, his choice.

Havingafieldday · 13/01/2016 23:53

My husband doesn't wear a ring and neither do many of our friends. I've no reason to think he is unfaithful but he hates jewellery. Not an issue

ComposHatComesBack · 14/01/2016 00:05

sleep I think you'd get short odds on the husband to be having to crawl back to his parents and asking for another 20k.

And this bloke is running a business? I hope he shoes more financial acumen than he does when it comes to running that.

Katenka · 14/01/2016 06:36

Isn't it traditional for the bride to have the groom's wedding watch engraved with a personal message to mark their wedding day?

I imagine she would have picked him one up at warrens. She doesn't work so doesn't really have money of her own.

Maybe that ms why he bought it.

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