AIBU to be thinking about calling off the wedding over a "wedding watch?"

[watchwouldyoudo]

,e and DH are getting married this summer. we set a budget of £20000 and are so far below that budget. we agreed at the start that anything left over would be used as spending money on our honeymoon.

DH came home the other day looking very proud of himself and said that he got himself a wedding watch. Ive never heard of such a thing, and he said that because were well under our budget that he could afford to buy himself a watch for the big day. he likes his designer watched and has a case with at elast 10 on his dresser (all rolex, omega etc).

the watch he bought cost £4000! His reasoning was that my dress, ring, shoes, hair, makeup and bridesmaids dresses/shoes/gifts cost more than his watch did and were still under budget. wed still leave us with 1000 to take on our honeymoon. I am absolutely fuming that he'd spend so much money just on himself. we had a big row and he went to sleep round his mums place (didnt even take the watch wtih him). im seriously considering calling off the wedding. how can he not see this from my point of viwe?

He should have discussed it with you but I don't actually think he's done all that much wrong. You don't need to have spent the amount you did on dresses, hair, make up etc. You wanted to. He wanted a wedding watch so he got one. Should have been discussed and taken into account with the planning though.

Sorry Lurking

at first i was omfg, but kinda see his point but would have been nice to discuss it

£4k on a dress etc you wear once for maybe 12hrs and £4k on a watch he would wear every day

i brought df a watch when he brought my engagement ring, but his wasnt £4k!!!!

I would consider the watch the equivalent of an engagement ring and not begrudge him. Been nice if he had mentioned it ahead of time.

But take this as a sign that he considers it HIS money and he is not financially accountable to you, his dependent. Is there a pre-nup involved here re the business or his family's money? If so .. be forewarned.

You don't want to be posting here in 10 years "I am married with 3 DC haven't worked in 12 year and my wealthy husband only gives me 75 pounds a month to run the household on while buying himself a new Rolex every six months. I have nowhere to turn and no job skills..." because we've all seen that before.

You might want to re-think the entire picture.

I can't believe that faced with an unemployed woman persuaded to stay at home to housekeep for a wealthy man the overwhelming advice is "don't marry him". Did you not get the memo?

Surely the advice is
A) Leave, or
B) get a good job of your own (admittedly a lot of people did say this) or
C) if you're going to stay with him for god's sake do marry him otherwise you're screwed.

As a point of fact there is an IHT break for wedding gifts, but I think it's 5,000 per parent.

If there's only £1000 left in the account and you aren't yet married, surely you don't have enough money to pay for everything. There will presumably be all sorts of things that you've booked (and possibly paid deposits for) but will pay for/pay the remainder closer to the date (or even after it).

I was going to say that the cost of the dress/watch is all relative if he has a very good income as well as having accepted the money from his parents. The fact that you are asking for cash as gifts would imply otherwise. To consider calling off the wedding because of his overspending seems to indicate deeper problems about trust on both sides. Have you confronted him about this? Take heed of the advice above your education and contribution to the household. Have a bit of dignity and a life beyond your marriage.

20,000 on a fucking wedding

OP said "We live in a very large house and would need a maid if I worked", never mind the 1950's that line sounds like something out of Downton Abbey.

So we're all agreed then, this thread is obviously a wind-up?

Oh OP. You had me up to the 'ladies that lunch' bit. Why do these people ALWAYS over-egg the bloody pudding!

Even the 'need a maid' was just about passable........you should have stopped right there!

This thread was worth it just for labial layabout

I can imagine spending 20K just on a wedding (if I had that kind of money). However you don't.
You think you do.
But imagine your guests donated just £10/head to your "honemoon fund" or in fact nothing.

are you going to get only another 1K for your honeymoon? Have you actually checked prices of 2 weeks in a nice location? 1K of spending money won't even last for meals out, for one person, for a week if you want to be able to affort the best and it looks liek this is what you want.

it looks to me like you ar every naive person and not too great with money

Completely silly to say the Op doesn't have a leg to stand in because her dress, etc cost the same. The bride needs something to wear. The groom does not need a fucking wedding watch. It's as pathetic as a push present. A phrase they think is cute to justify buying something they can't really justify.

You're both as bad as eachother!

It perplexes me that people will spend twenty thousand pounds on a wedding party.

It's just a party after all.

I think he's justified in spending what he wants, if you've already spent £1000 on a dress you'll wear for one day, and thousands more pounds on shoes and accessories. How much was your engagement ring? If you're conventional he'll have probably spent a couple of thousand on that too.

Just imagine if you'd had a marriage ceremony in church, a little send off down the pub after and then had twenty thousand pounds leftover for your honeymoon !

OP, I think it's fair enough, in context, to have that wedding watch.

But I'm curious about something. If you did leave him over this, where would you live?

Just imagine if you'd had a marriage ceremony in church, a little send off down the pub after and then had twenty thousand pounds leftover for your honeymoon !

This is what i presumed they were doing as they had money leftover, at least research your topic before starting a fun (not saying troll no defo not) thread.

This thread has everything. It even has a couple who, despite having money to burn, are asking for contributions to their honeymoon as wedding gifts. Will there be a twee little rhyme for this?

Punani parasite

This thread makes no sense at all any more, but at least we have those gems

Damn. Need to remember pages.

I'm in two minds now as I think this is a very strange situation and I think the OP is a bit cheeky complaining given she doesn't provide financially nor is she doing her bit by looking after children.

Very at asking for more money given the wealth of the groom and his family.

OMG am weeping at punani parasite!!

This isn't that wifie from Kensington who can't get up in time to get her kids to school is it? She's not done a name change and now decided to alter a few more details in addition to a name change...?

I'm thinking less wind-up and more of a stealth boast...

And delete a couple of kids