AIBU to be thinking about calling off the wedding over a "wedding watch?"

[watchwouldyoudo]

,e and DH are getting married this summer. we set a budget of £20000 and are so far below that budget. we agreed at the start that anything left over would be used as spending money on our honeymoon.

DH came home the other day looking very proud of himself and said that he got himself a wedding watch. Ive never heard of such a thing, and he said that because were well under our budget that he could afford to buy himself a watch for the big day. he likes his designer watched and has a case with at elast 10 on his dresser (all rolex, omega etc).

the watch he bought cost £4000! His reasoning was that my dress, ring, shoes, hair, makeup and bridesmaids dresses/shoes/gifts cost more than his watch did and were still under budget. wed still leave us with 1000 to take on our honeymoon. I am absolutely fuming that he'd spend so much money just on himself. we had a big row and he went to sleep round his mums place (didnt even take the watch wtih him). im seriously considering calling off the wedding. how can he not see this from my point of viwe?

Aaaahhhh.

Penny drops.

poppie the op of the Kensington thread had a mother about how much free time she had. Hilarious!

Do you think there's a media class somewhere with a topic of 'rapid use of Internet forum posting' running a competition for who can have the most outlandish posts??

Foof moocher?

Vagina Recliner gets my vote

It sounds like the OP will be wearing her £3700 dress and the bridesmaids will be in primark. She tells us that her 'dress, ring, shoes, hair, makeup and bridesmaids dresses/shoes/gifts cost more than his watch' but presumably the total cost is more or less comparable to his watch (otherwise why bring it up?). Somehow I doubt anyone in a £3700 dress is skimping on their hair, make-up or shoes, and I can't imagine she popped down to Argos for the ring.

So have you picked the ugliest, cheapest polyester for your bridesmaids OP, lest they show you up by not looking horrible?

Nearly £4K on a wedding dress? Saw you coming didn't they??

Seriously however good you think you look in it you could have got an equally beautiful dress way cheaper.
At least his watch will probably be worn for more than one day (and given what most strapless monstrosity wedding dresses look like these days - look nicer).

Fanny freeloader/ muff malinger?

Do you have cake toppers yet op?

My first DH wouldn't wear a wedding ring. It was nothing to do with faithfulness/unfaithfulness, he just didn't fancy it.

Royal family don't do male rings (new tradition and all that)

With 1k left, 4K on a watch and 3.7k on a dress. Leaves 11.3k. Plus shoes, hair, make up, bridesmaid dresses and shoes, suits etc

The pils are going to be pissed when they turn up to this wedding and realise how little of it was spent on the actual function!

Fanny freeloader/ muff malinger?

Cocktail what proportion should he do given he pays for everything due to OP having none of her own money, he provides everything for them. OP also has no kids to look after so all her time is her own.

Yes Katenka. They'l probably be horribly embarrassed once they realise that at least £15k has been spent on decorative shit and there's a pay bar at the reception.

Ok I've heard of wedding watches and you've got a ring, he wants a watch fair enough.

However........

Spending that much money with no discussion and agreement out of a joint budget is selfish and very worrying. This would be a massive red flag for me, as it not only demonstrates significant financial irresponsibility but total disregard for you as a person and together as a couple

Drip drip drip, trip trap op!

That whole set up sounds like my fil's wet dream version of reality. It isn't mine.

Assuming you're not of the purple haired cake topper ilk:

Yes it should have been a joint discussion not a unilateral decision on his part.

No it's not inherently unreasonable of him to spend a similar amount of the budget on a frippery £3700 on a DRESS ffs

Yes if you want to be with him you should marry him and protect yourself

You should use some of your free time to get some qualifications and a career... to protect yourself and get some self respect.

step can you imagine his parents face!

OP please take a photo of your pils faces in the wedding day. It will be amazing!!!!

I am also wondering how much of the budget the OP ring cost.

Tell me there's a cash bar and you've included a cute poem asking for cash in the invitations pleeeeeeease!

I love the term muff malingerer.

flangemate is the winner for me

No, I can understand where he is coming from. But by the time he has had his hair cut before the wedding, quite possibly spent more than you on the stag do, bought shoes and a suit it might balance out more than he thinks. It sort of depends on how much your dress cost, £1000 or £5000.

I would try and sit down and sort this out though. Big financial purchases from joint money should be discussed. I would be wary of the marriage based on this rather than any issue over the watch itself.

I think the op is being incredibly unreasonable

How much was your engagement ring OP?

I can see your H2B's logic but I can see your pov too - it should have been discussed

Do you think you'd be better off calling off the wedding? Will your relationship end completely? How will your PiL feel about 'losing' their money? your H2B would still be able to wear his new watch though

Both of you have more money than sense