to think about trying to book a wedding venue as a 'party' rather than wedding? Does it actually work?

[Ciabattavonbreadsticks]

Ok, not actually thinking about doing this at the moment but just curious.

I've seen this advise several times, when booking a venue for a wedding people suggest booking it as a 'party' or a 'function' rather than mentioning a wedding as that tends to triple the price.

But does this actually work? Wouldn't the venue notice when you all turn up in wedding stuff? Wouldn't they be annoyed and just charge you the difference after the day?

It is very frustrating as the beautiful venue I have my eye on is £1500 for the day/time I have in mind but only £675 for the same day/time for a 'function'.

I'd also feel a bit bad, like I was doing the venue out of money but wibu to consider it? Has anyone else done this successfully? Or unsuccessfully?

Hope your exhibition's going well, Budgie. I envy the ability to make any kind of decent cake, let alone a posh wedding one!

I think perhaps the reason for our understanding gap is that, because you are a wedding service provider, the word "wedding" means a specific set of things to you. I'm one of many who pointedly did not want the extra things that "wedding" is thought to mean.

This understanding gap is why I needed to lie.

I understand what you've said about couples thinking they don't want "wedding" but acting like they do! In those cases, I feel a supplier would be justified in renegotiating the price upwards - and I imagine is the reason most wedding planners offer a scale of services. When a bridezilla escalates from her agreed package, the planner can point out that she's entering the next price zone.

It is still unfair of those of us who want an 'ordinary' level of party service but are told we can't have it! Or it would be unfair, if we didn't lie

It is still unfair to those of us - Deletion error, not a Freudian slip!

I feel a supplier would be justified in renegotiating the price upwards

Practically though, that's almost impossible, I have a contract with the bride for the cake, I can't be adding costs on after because she's emailed a few too many times.

I'm one of many who pointedly did not want the extra things that "wedding" is thought to mean

I do get that, I really do. However, most suppliers will have to cost their service/product according to the 'average' bride. We'd go out of business if we didn't.

It's a bit like car insurance. Ie say a mother aged 40 and her son aged 20 have both been driving for 2 years. They both want insurance. They both want exactly the same product. But the son will have to pay more than the mother, because statistically the son is more likely to have an accident.

It's a similar thing. Statistically the 'average' bride will need a greater level of service than the 'average' party organiser. So I have to price accordingly. And that's without taking the marketing into account.

And I did have a good exhibition, thanks GarlicBread.

I was not a bridezilla in that I knew exactly what I wanted and it wasn't what was offered by the majority of venues. I still to this day have no idea why so many places can't give a selection of items on the menu when you have a choice of 2 meals when you fly. If they can do it at 30,000 ft I have no clue why they can't do it on the ground.

I still to this day have no idea why so many places can't give a selection of items on the menu when you have a choice of 2 meals when you fly. I guess they could, but it will probably push the price higher due to the risk of waste. On a plane there's a choice for the first passengers who get served, but if you are at the back of the plane, it's quite common to be told that there's only one choice left. I guess you wouldn't want that on your wedding day. And I would hope that the food at a wedding would be a bit better than airline food!

I'm often sat in the back these days as we have kids now and it's normally only the last few rows who don't get a choice.

Regardless, I don't understand how at my Dads birthday party they managed to feed 350 guests with options from each course yet a wedding at the same venue couldn't do this. It was most odd because as a bride I was totally fine with there being a little overrun if we were being forced to have a buffet in the later evening. I fully expected leftovers from the wedding breakfast to appear on the buffet!

Oh and to clarify, when paying £50k for a wedding I fully expect my guests to have what they want from the menu. For 100 guests that works out to £500 per person. That is an awful lot to be spending per person when a meal at the local Michelin restaurant is about £150 per person.

It was most odd because as a bride I was totally fine with there being a little overrun if we were being forced to have a buffet in the later evening. I fully expected leftovers from the wedding breakfast to appear on the buffet!

It was most odd because as a bride I was totally fine with there being a little overrun if we were being forced to have a buffet in the later evening

I'd usually say that in that case you'd have to pay for the extra meals if you need to allow for a choice. However , if you were genuinely charged £500 per person just for the food, I might expect a bit more flexibility I suppose. I work with a lot of venues, at all ends of the scale, and I don't know if a single one that charges that sort of money for the wedding breakfast. That's bonkers!

I don't know if a single one that charges that sort of money for the wedding breakfast - actually, I take that back, I have been to one that charges more than that, but it is known as the most expensive restaurant in the country!

£500 per head for the wedding, not just the food. I would think that outside of London that sort of budget should enable options on the menu for guests.

All I cared about at my wedding was the food, alcohol and music. Decorations and all the other crap I didn't care about. A lot of places kept going on about making me feel like a celebrity etc. Its just not in my DNA to behave like that and everyone would have just laughed at me! We happened to have champagne at our wedding but there was no official champagne toast. Most of the men were drinking whiskey or port when we were doing speeches. The concept of not having champagne glasses given to each person just before speeches was lost on most venues.

Having the wedding at home we put 4 bottles of whiskey, a bottle of port, champagne and 2 white wines on ice and 2 bottles of red at each table. As they ran out they were replaced. Guests served themselves and thought this was a great idea.

A £50k wedding wouldn't be £500 per person just for food!

A £50k wedding would be all items dress, photographs etc

If you mean £50k venue costs, that usually breaks down to venue hire, ceremony costs, welcome drink, drinks for the table, canapés, meal, buffet, maybe rooms to get ready, cover the cost of staff, the coordinator, chair covers, cake stand, DJ.

If you mean a £50k food bill that's ridiculous and obvs would only then be a small part of a huge wedding bill.

I mean a GBP50k venue costs - so includes anything charged by the venue - but doesn't include the cake, alcohol provided that corkage is paid on, music, photographer, clothing, transportation etc. I got married in a church so zero ceremony costs. No cake stand as I provided by own.

That is what we were looking at and we could afford to spend it but chose not to when I called around booking for my brothers return from tour and was able to organize something similar in terms of hours, coordination, guest size and food. Drink at my brothers function was higher due to Army guys let loose! Total cost for my brothers event was GBP20k. When I priced them out for my wedding the cost would have been GBP45-50k.

As for chair covers - goodness me, if a chair is so ugly that it needs to be covered I do not see why I should be paying for it to be hidden from view. As a venue either buy some decent looking chairs or put your own covers on.

£500 per head for the wedding, not just the food Ah, sorry, I misunderstood as you were comparing the cost to a restaurant meal.

£500 I would think is high end. The venue must know what they are worth, and at what price they can sell a wedding. And has been explained upthread, you generally get a higher level of service and more included items, plus the extra marketing, staffing, and other associated costs with a wedding.

I know to the bride it must appear to be similar to a party, but it really isn't. Plus if the venue know they can charge £500 and will still sell weddings, then that's what they would do, they are a business after all.

I totally get why that isn't for you, a 'formula' wedding isn't for everyone. But I don't think it's fair to grumble that the venue won't give you what you want at a price you want to pay. They are offering a product (for want of a better word), and you choose whether to buy that product. Just find a way of doing it your way at a venue which will offer the product you want, which is what you did, and I don't blame you.

It's a bit like I choose not to shop in Waitrose, I shop in Aldi. Waitrose is more expensive, but offer a better service - free coffee, better choice of product, higher staffing levels etc. But I don't ask Waitrose to reduce the cost of my shopping because I didn't want the free coffee, or I returned my own trolley. I'd rather shop elsewhere if I want cheaper groceries.

Surely though, you knew the cost and what was included at the venue before you paid your deposit?