to think about trying to book a wedding venue as a 'party' rather than wedding? Does it actually work?

[Ciabattavonbreadsticks]

Ok, not actually thinking about doing this at the moment but just curious.

I've seen this advise several times, when booking a venue for a wedding people suggest booking it as a 'party' or a 'function' rather than mentioning a wedding as that tends to triple the price.

But does this actually work? Wouldn't the venue notice when you all turn up in wedding stuff? Wouldn't they be annoyed and just charge you the difference after the day?

It is very frustrating as the beautiful venue I have my eye on is £1500 for the day/time I have in mind but only £675 for the same day/time for a 'function'.

I'd also feel a bit bad, like I was doing the venue out of money but wibu to consider it? Has anyone else done this successfully? Or unsuccessfully?

I've just remembered a thread from a few years ago, where the OP decided to offer to cover a pub's expenses to get licensed for marriages.

Wish I knew whether it worked out for her!

Gosh. Cornwall Council charges £1,450 for the licence! Better strike that off OP's options, then.

I agree that you can't like to the venue if you want to get married at, but all the added 'extras' do annoy me.

I got a quote for a car to take me and some family members to the church. A one-way trip, for which they quoted me £50. When they realised it was a wedding and I was the bride, they wanted £350 for exactly the same trip, with a few ribbons added (that I didn't want). I refused and I got my car for £50.

We host around 80 weddings a year at our pub restaurant.

I could write an essay on this topic!! But I will say the keys facts in relation to the difference between a party and a wedding.

Generally speaking....
A party, you may meet max twice with the booking leader, input would be minimal and very easy. Over generally a short period of time such as six months.
For a wedding, contact with the couple or admin relating to their booking usually exceeds 100 hours spread over two years.

A party you need to put on a good show. For a wedding you need to put on the BEST show - standards expected are completely different, and to deliver this quality standards costs money.

Depends what sort of venue it is, but be very careful concealing your event as it could breach your contract with them, and as mentioned above if there was another wedding on site your event could be cancelled immediately if within their contract.

I had someone turn up for lunch in my pub in a wedding dress after their ceremony ! I nearly died as thought I had forgotten a wedding (as if!) however had I had a wedding on site I would have asked her to leave immediately as we have a one wedding policy per day!

Although I can understand people's frustrations when it comes to seemingly different prices for 'no different' level of service I can assure you, from a venue perspective anyway, the level of service and therefore costs incurred are poles apart.

Ask the venue about the differences. Perhaps they go to extra lengths to prepare the grounds, or perhaps it includes a longer hire period to allow you to set up.
Generally speaking businesses don't make their fees up, there are costs behind it that are 'justifiable'.

And p.s. To register for a ceremony in Kent is over 2K then plus your actual ceremony fee of 600-760 depending on date.....
Getting married at a registry on the quiet previously, with a blessing on the day as your 'ceremony' in front of your guests is a commonplace option that can work well depending on your sentimental inclination.

I have to say after working in several high end hotels that a wedding is no different than a function and I do think some business rip the ar&e royally with their charges. The ceremony is different but anyone planning a ball /awards dinner or anything else similar you have the same constraints of staff. Many visits, emails and micromanaging organisers are one of the reasons I don't miss it. Get prices for both with some deceptive phone calls and then start negotiating. Good luck!

I'm really not fussed about having all the wedding rigmarole, I plan on doing my own hair & make up (simple hair, maybe a few flowers but nothing fancy), I have 2 family members who are photographers so that is sorted I think they would be offended if I didn't ask them! Probably no cake or something home made.

To be honest the only things I really care about are:

Nice venue where everyone can enjoy themselves (including kids)
Decent food but casual rather than posh sit down meal
Nice disco/party in the evening
Beautiful dress that doesn't cost thousands.

One of my dc's is disabled and loves the beach, that's one of the reasons I wanted a beach side venue as if dc is stressed and wants some space from the wedding crowd they will be very happy playing in the sand for hours on end. I want my dc's to enjoy the day as much as I do. Also, said dc finds in difficult keeping clothes on at the best of times and if the wedding is in the spring/summer then to an extent I can relax and not worry about dc getting hypothermis .

Sounds like weird reasons but hey!

Ooh, I forgot to say Ass, the venue charges £675 for the day and night in total for a function, something like £300 for the day and £375 for the evening whereas the 'wedding' price is £1500 for both. So £675 vs £1500.

Reading this thread I feel I must add my comments - we married after 4 children and decided to have a small wedding - yeh that old chestnut! - my only advice would be be to remember -invite your friends, pay for everything, - they are your friends afterall - they won't remember what colour your napkins were but they will remember how generous you were - invite the people you care about and make it easy for them - I know we had more money than a lot of you because we are older but we only spent- total- £15000 for whole wedding and that was for 120 people with free bar and all food for whole a July Saturday from 1pm until 1am x

DH and I have organized many family events including our wedding, my brothers return from active duty, his sisters 50th, my fathers 70th and our DCs christening. An event is an event and there should be no difference between a wedding and any other event. If there is we don't use the venue or vendor.

I lied to the guy about our marquee. It was £2,300 for the marquee, flooring, tables, chairs and bar area for 100. He found out after we were getting married and told me he wanted £6k. I shrugged my shoulders and walked off after paying him.

We had all the components of a wedding for each event. With my Dads 70th we did a 'This is your life' and flew in friends he hadn't seen in 60+ years. The venue thought it was great and hid the guests from my Dad.

Do the 'function' prices include a meal, OP?

The lesser charge is probably just an empty room maybe?

The wedding one could include master of ceremonies, tables, chair covers etc

Have you asked what you get for the extra money?

We had a small wedding (25 guests) and had looked at a few venues, but ended up doing as you suggested and asking if we could book an entire restaurant for a family get together, we would pay the bill for the food, the restaurant were great, they already set tables nicely with white table cloths, linen napkins etc, so in my opinion not much else needed, we ordered four pew ends for the church which we asked the florist to be suitable for conversion to table decorations, and popped my bouquet on the table at the entrance. It's a lovely restaurant and we had a great meal, but didn't have a cake, or need a master of ceremonies etc. I think it depends on what you are expecting? We had a wedding party for friends and wider group of relatives a few weeks later in a village hall, tried to decorate ourselves etc, and had cake then, but to be honest I think it was one of the most stressful things to do. I was frantically trying to get organised, and only five minutes before the guests arrived I was in the toilets trying to pop on my wedding dress ( very different from the actual wedding day) and trying to find a bit of make up to make myself look a bit more presentable, and not like i had spent the morning cutting up strawberries, then moving all the furniture, decorating the hall etc. If you do decide to go for a village hall type place which you decorate yourself, I would try to arrange a group of friends and family to be there for a full morning to help and make sure you set aside enough time to get yourself ready.

ciabatta I don't understand why you can't just get married at the registry office then book the venue for a party afterwards. That way you can keep your costs down and not lie about it.
If you want the whole event including the ceremony at the venue then that becomes a wedding and obviously you have to pay for that.

OP right I see those figures. Find out exactly what those extra costs are. You need to meet with them and strip out everything you don't want and see if they will agree. Negotiations will need to take place to reduce the cost. That's fine.

But there is no way you can get away with booking this as a venue for a party. If I were you I would get married at the registry office and have an evening or day do.

If the venue books a lot of weddings/functions in spring and summer you may find they won't take a small booking on a Saturday at that time of year, anyway.

How it works in the place I have worked is that Saturday's have to have more people attending all year round. So a Saturday in winter would have a minimum of 80 guests but a Saturday in summer must have a minimum of 150. These figure vary venue to venue, though.

Or room hire is more expensive in premium months than in cheaper the less popular months.

They may reduce costs if you strip some stuff out, or they may be confident they can fill the date with a larger booking.

Do you even know if they have any dates free?

If you're wanting to get married there then there is an additional cost, it's not just a function! They'll have to provide an extra room for the ceremony, all the setting up if that room and they have to have a licence for the ceremony which you don't need for just a party.

So £675 vs £1500

Thing is, you're probably not getting the same service for a function that you would for a wedding. It's not just about the room hire. There may be extras such as a master of ceremony, but it's not just that. It's the preparations in the days, weeks and even years before the big day. Some bride and grooms spend hours and hours with the wedding co-ordinator before the big day, numerous emails and phone calls, popping in to see the room, discussing the food, decoration, how the day will work etc. One bride I had sent me 82 emails over a year, regarding the one small part of her wedding that I was involved in supplying. OP, I know you probably aren't at all like that, but the venue don't know that yet, and they can't increase the price if you turn out to be a bridezilla !

There's also the hidden costs that you don't see. There may be a higher staffing ratio for a wedding. There will certainly be extra costs such as being registered to hold weddings, plus most likely there will be much higher marketing costs, most venues I know round here regularly attend wedding fairs, hold open evenings, give prospective clients individual tours etc. It's all got to be paid for, and so will increase the cost of a wedding over and above what you will pay for a function.

There is, of course, an element of charging what the market will bear for a wedding rather than a function, but it's not the only factor in dictating the price.

No harm in asking for a cheaper deal, but I think it might be a bit like trying to book tea at the Ritz and then asking for a discount because you'll bring your own thermos.

They will have x numbers of Saturday's in a year when the venue is available for weddings and they will expect to book weddings where they can make a certain amount of profit.

If you want a cheaper wedding reception you should have a small registry office wedding to get the legal bit out of the way and then have the rest of it (which as has been suggested can include any kind of blessing or ceremony you want) at a time or venue when/where people aren't trying to sell a full wedding.

Some places will let you say you don't want any of the extra wedding stuff that gets tacked on, some places say you have to have the extra stuff.
We literally just wanted everyone in a room with a bar, buffet and a dj. Didn't want to be announced, didn't want a table plan, didn't want official photos, didn't want everyone to be officially greeted, just a plain party!

We literally just wanted everyone in a room with a bar, buffet and a dj. Didn't want to be announced, didn't want a table plan, didn't want official photos, didn't want everyone to be officially greeted, just a plain party!

That's fine, of course, but as you said, not every venue will be willing to offer this, especially on peak dates when they could book a full wedding with all the whistles and bells. And the venue already has the sunk costs of marketing and planning, just to get potential clients though the door, whether you want all the extras or not. But it's alway worth negotiating, the worst they can say is no.

OP if you are saying you want the ceremony there presumably the venue either need to set up and then change the Room for the party, or you will hire two rooms there instead of one for the party. Straight away more staffing and cost to them so a clear indication of difference in price from the word go!
Why don't you just ask for more information from the venue, that will answer all your questions with a lot more clarity and then you will know exactly where you stand.

One classic we get is people wish to pay less because they want a "really relaxed non traditional wedding".... You know just a buffet, with a cake, so can you cut that for us, oh and photos in your gardens so they'll need to be immaculate, with some speeches as well can you coordinate that, oh and can I have a room to get ready in, and will you help us plan it for the next year, oh and can you just put out A couple of [boxes] of decorations.... Er Yep so that's pretty standard wedding hire then!

One thing I've learnt over the years is to be really clear and upfront about my prices and what it includes.
I have been stung before by people trying to do it on the cheap and expecting the bloody earth when they don't wish to pay what that costs - I'm sure the venue in question will be the same and have a detailed list of exactly what services are provided for both packages. Then you can choose which You want. Simples.

I've been to a wedding at a posh venue which they really tried to scrimp on.

Don't do it it. It doesn't look right or feel right.

Also weddings are timed to include the extras so you have a ceremony then a long gap for photos, canapés etc usually including a drink. Then food, speeches etc then DJ and more food.

If you planned to cut these things out how would you fill the time and expect people to just hang around with no food etc.

If you want a laid back wedding with no table plan (I don't know why you would do this unless you had benches etc) no photos, why don't you hire a venue for an evening. Get married at 4 Pm straight into the Buffet 5.30pm then reception starts 7pm with a DJ that would you don't have to provide the guests with extras.

Download an app like wedpics and get guests to upload as they go. Send invites via email or on a wedding website.

Do it out of season or on a weekday.

Buy some supermarket cakes or cupcakes.

Don't have a DJ - use a carefully planned iPod

DJs tend to charge more because they set up before the food in the same room so you pay for their time, and people use the mics for the speeches.

There's lots of ways to simplify things without taking the piss out of people just trying to earn a living.

There are no extra staff at a wedding and there isn't extra work to do compared to other events. A lot of venues price gouge weddings. They like to spout stuff like this to make you think you need to pay the extra.

We got married in our family friends back garden. I hired 3 people to work the bar and 10 people to serve food and drink. It cost me less than £2000 for the people. We got our pictures done before our ceremony so people were not waiting around. Music was done by a DJ that cost £400 (well worth it). No special lights or microphones.

Our wedding cost £10k and if held at a venue (as initially planned) it would have been £50k. I was fine to lost the £1500 deposit that we had paid to the venue because they couldn't even give us what we wanted in terms of food. As an example the venue insisted on us having bacon butties at 10pm that cost £8 each. My family are Jewish but we had to buy 50 regardless.

That's beyond ridiculous, Want2! Name and shame! Get some of your £1,500 back as vengeance.

I've just realised it would be a good idea for Ciabatta to ask her beach venue to price for the wedding service only. If they offer this, she can tack it on to the 'function' price to get a decent idea of the realistic cost.

She could say they're just going to have a few drinks at the bar afterwards or something.