to think about trying to book a wedding venue as a 'party' rather than wedding? Does it actually work?

[Ciabattavonbreadsticks]

Ok, not actually thinking about doing this at the moment but just curious.

I've seen this advise several times, when booking a venue for a wedding people suggest booking it as a 'party' or a 'function' rather than mentioning a wedding as that tends to triple the price.

But does this actually work? Wouldn't the venue notice when you all turn up in wedding stuff? Wouldn't they be annoyed and just charge you the difference after the day?

It is very frustrating as the beautiful venue I have my eye on is £1500 for the day/time I have in mind but only £675 for the same day/time for a 'function'.

I'd also feel a bit bad, like I was doing the venue out of money but wibu to consider it? Has anyone else done this successfully? Or unsuccessfully?

I agree she should be honest. I said she should say what the party is but she doesn't want or need the wedding add-ons ( except it seems she does need them as she wants someone to officiate with the legal stuff)

The main thing you need is a break down of what they provide for a wedding and what they provide for a function to see the difference. Some good examples here re separate room for celebrant, also used to store presents or for photographer gear, the need to have two set ups 1) for the ceremony and 2) then a different one for reception, handling admin for the licensing - just to name a few. You think you just want the room but if you break it down properly you may want some (but not necessarily all) of these services and some you may not be able to do yourself eg changing the room round even if you found a couple of people willing to move furniture in their wedding finery, the venue may have insurance reasons you can't.
And that's before you think about any caveats or clauses they may have re weddings like Snake mentioned.

Seriously sit down with them and talk, most businesses want happy (and truthful) customers. Unless they are so over booked they can pick and choose clients they'll probably be happy to negotiate - and they know exactly what happens minute by minute on a wedding vs just s single set up function

It might work for a low-key wedding RECEPTION but it now sounds as though you are looking for a CEREMONY venue too.

You need a Registrar to attend to conduct the ceremony and there are legalities that MUST be observed first in respect of the venue so there is no way you can do that without the ceremony venue knowing in advance.

As a PP said, you can marry in any registration office you choose. Look a few up online, choose a pretty one and THEN start looking for a local 'party' venue, maybe?

Some hotels have a one bride/wedding per day policy. I worked with a woman who's sister booked their wedding as a 'party/function' instead of a wedding. The venue had a wedding booked on the same day. When the hotel realised they had lied about it, work colleagues family were asked to leave early before the official wedding party arrived.

I don't really get what the big deal is of there not being 2 weddings at the same hotel if the hotel is physically capable of providing facilities for both. Although I agree OP has to be upfront about what she requires.

Blimey, I was going to be all encouraging until I realised you're going to get married AT the venue! You can't really disguise the registrar as a random aunt - or, okay, you can but people might notice

Right. As a 'wedding venue', they will have a room for the ceremony, which they'll set up with rows of chairs and make it all pretty, and another for the party which they'll also set up, etc.

If you want to get married and celebrate in the same room, tell the venue. Also ask them what minimal decorations they can do and if there's flexibility for you to bring your own decorations. Remember they have a scheduled routine set up for this with their staff: if you want to be the 'staff', you will have to fit in with them rather than have it all your own way.

You should be able to knock numerous extras off - but do remember they have to make a profit somewhere!

I had a hog roast & buffet thing, and I did lie to them because the price was doubled by their wedding frills & shizz. I told them the truth when they arrived. It all went brilliantly well (unlike the marriage, heh.)

But you won't be able to get away with that, I'm afraid. I bet you can do wonders, though! No harm in asking ... and pushing a bit Good luck!

Agree it would work just for the party bit, but you want the ceremony there. The venue will have paid and will pay each year to maintain it's licence to hold weddings. You want a piece of this and so have to pay for that privilege.

Friend did that. X many months down the line the venue found it was a wedding and demanded £2k more for same thing. Groom and bride told them no. They were awful on the day around lunch time (i was there) and i know they lost 4 potential weddings fron guests that day due to this. On top of that they had to refund some of the original amount as they didnt provide the service that for ordered for the party as they nit picked. Believe they been taken over now. Small town, most people at the wedding know everyone in the town. Still had a good wedding as the groom and his friends popped into the kitchen and requested the food they had ordered for the party which the venue tried to with hold the buffet. Groom and bride still very happily married and photos were amazing. Bride was amazing relaxed person. Good time was had by all and the groom and bride had a story to tell. So advice yes you can but go with care. Disclaimer...I dont know all the ins and outs of what happened in the kitchen that day but the food did appear very quick after the men returned.

Don't venues have to pay to be a licensed wedding venue? So part of the extra cost to you is probably to cover this annual cost that they have to pay?

I don't understand how you can avoid booking it for a wedding if you plan on getting married there.

Beautiful venues cost money to maintain, you pay a premium for it being beautiful.

I doubt you'll find a registrar willing to be smuggled in and be called 'Aunt Muriel' for the afternoon not talk to any managers or staff etc.

If you cannot afford it (after negotiating) then there's other venues and other ways to cut costs.

I would not lie about this as you'll just be worrying about your lies and not enjoy the day.

As someone who works in Hotels, with events, there is no way on earth you would be able to cover up the fact that you are holding your ceremony there.

The rooms have to be legally allowed, and some venues with more than one function room may have only been granted permission for ceremonies to go ahead in certain rooms.

Similarly the room has to be hired out at a fee (we do not charge room hire for the wedding breakfast/functions/conferences) - as per the law.

A ceremony and wedding need much more supervision and managements than a function. If you held a birthday party the events team would
1 - set up the furniture
2 - serve the food
3 - staff the bar
4 - arrange a disco

A wedding includes the above PLUS
1 - directing guests to the ceremony room, then out afterwards to a drinks reception
2 - serve a drinks reception
3 - then direct guests into the Breakfast room
4 - announce the happy couple
5 - manage the speeches (announcing them, handing out any gifts)
6 - ensure flawless dinner service (speed, veggie meals where needed,Bride and Groom served first etc)
7 - wine service during the meal
8 - announce cake cutting and then cut and serve
9 - direct guests out at the end of the meal
10 - clear any decorations and prep room for evening part
11 - direct guests back into evening celebrations
12 - serve evening buffut and clear
13 - arrange storage of wedding gifts and decorations
14 - clear up after everyone has left, usually around 12 hours after the whple thing started.

YWBVU to not let them know it was a wedding

TBF, it IS irritating that so many people and venues in the wedding industry try to impose one identikit style of wedding on everyone by default. Automatically foisting a load of announcing and ushering on a reception probably does bump up the price.

There are a lot of assumptions in that list Penny posted (I am not Mrs, I don't want to be announced as such, I didn't want a top table etc). Similarly most photographers' 'wedding packages' take it for granted that brides want to be photographed getting ready and probably 'pre photos' the week before too.

Even Bristol registry office got itself struck off my list by TELLING me I'd be walked down the aisle, that guests would gather in x place for champagne while the groom and I spent y minutes posing on the grand staircase etc etc.

It's an industry out of control.

clear up after everyone has left, usually around 12 hours after the whple thing started.

Do they not clear up after a party or other function then?

Yes but most parties are 7-11/12 so very short. Not the day long events that wedding are. And not around centrepeices,place cards etc that are normally used at weddings.

What if you don't want any of the extra stuff your venue tacks on for a wedding? If people can find their way to the room for a party, they can find it for a wedding without anyone directing them there. You might not want or need a drinks reception beyond what the bar offers, you might not need any sort of announcement of the happy couple of micro management of any speeches. You might just be having ceremony plus party, no fuss - I assume it is possible to ditch and not pay for the services you don't need?

Negotiating and paying only for the services you require is better than lying.

wedding prices are usually more for a reason- I work along side photographers hairdressers etc all whom charge more for weddings because even if the couple 'just want something 'simple and un weddingy ' they still actually require more time behind scenes- eg photos will require insurance, pre meeting, venue visit and editing time- the getting ready shots etc are irelkevebt because you wouldn't be doing another job in that time anyway, hairdressers charge no more in a salon for up hair than wedding hair but the wedding hair package will seem to cost more because it includes a trial and accessories etc/
So I'd be v straight and say it's for my wedding I only want X y Z and this is what I can afford- can it work out here?

No you misunderstand- most photographers won't just turn up and take snaps for a wedding, they will meet the client and also independently visit the venue - it's not something you can opt out of per se. For less time bound things like a family shoot no ore visit is needed because the photos aren't as constrained by location or time.
Hair - same- no problem to have standard doo at lower price at all, just that the wedding one costs more because more is included but because someone is trying to rip you off

Not