to think about trying to book a wedding venue as a 'party' rather than wedding? Does it actually work?

[Ciabattavonbreadsticks]

Ok, not actually thinking about doing this at the moment but just curious.

I've seen this advise several times, when booking a venue for a wedding people suggest booking it as a 'party' or a 'function' rather than mentioning a wedding as that tends to triple the price.

But does this actually work? Wouldn't the venue notice when you all turn up in wedding stuff? Wouldn't they be annoyed and just charge you the difference after the day?

It is very frustrating as the beautiful venue I have my eye on is £1500 for the day/time I have in mind but only £675 for the same day/time for a 'function'.

I'd also feel a bit bad, like I was doing the venue out of money but wibu to consider it? Has anyone else done this successfully? Or unsuccessfully?

Let's clear one thing up. If you want to have your marriage ceremony there you will not be able to pretend it's anything other than a wedding. The registrar will have forms to fill in and tasks to do. They don't just turn up on the day. I'm fairly sure that the venue and the registrars office will talk to each other.

I think comparing weddings in the 60s to what happens today is irrelevant. In the 60s, there wasn't either the money or pressure on brides which exists today to make this day the "one above all others". Much of what is considered today as an essential hadn't even been invented then! My parents got married in the 60s and they certainly didn't have a pre-wedding visit to the venue from the photographer - for the good reason that there were only about three hotels in the whole area where people had their receptions. The photographer had been to all of them dozens, if not hundreds, of times! Also, everyone lined up in standard poses for the photos. Nowadays, there are loads of venues in the same area and new ones coming on all the time. Apart from being unfamiliar with every venue, the photographer also has to figure out in advance how to arrange the bride's desired photos of wandering through a meadow when the only patch of grass is down a muddy path, not something he needs to be figuring out on the day.

I work in the wedding/party industry, and the costs and time associated with providing a wedding service are generally much greater than the cost associated with a standard service.

A quick chat on the phone is all that is usually required for a party service, for example, but for weddings the B&G (quite rightly) expect a full consultation, which usually last at least an hour, if not more. There are usually then follow up phone calls, and extra paperwork, and sometimes even a second consultation. We also include delivery of the service.

And then there's the marketing of the product. I don't generally market the 'party' side, that's done by word of mouth, but I do actively market the wedding side, so that's website cost and admin, samples to be made, the cost and hours spent at wedding fairs etc.

The cost you pay for a wedding is not just the product you see on the day, there's usually a lot more planning and other costs associated with a wedding over and above what would be associated with a party.

I do understand that some people will just think that suppliers see the word wedding and add a zero to the end of the bill. But in many cases it really isn't like that at all.

Quite apart from the issue of the registrar, it's immature and bad form to lie to a venue. Totally unprofessional and bound to cause problems. I'm surprised that any mature adult would give that advice.

There are some venues you can hire alone no matter what the function. For example, a friend of mine rents out a barn on her land which locals use for parties and weddings. It's heated and plumbed, but the party have to do everything.

I run a small community venue (unpaid). For a party, people book the room for x number of hours, we provide a bar. They set up & clear away during the hire period (usually 5 hrs). Occassionally, they come and have a quick look at the hall & kitchen. Job done.

We've got a wedding booked in a few months. So far I've had 3 long, detailed meetings with the b&g, endless emails about logistics, decorations, they want to set up the day before, come & go several times during the actual day & tidy up the day after. I wish I was able to triple the hire charge - it might actually reflect the amount of work it's giving me. It's been the same for other weddings we've had. For quite a while we banned them

You can try OP, but your big white dress might be a bit of a giveaway.

RE: photographers not offering shorter packages. Well they don't make good business sense for most - especially in peak 'Wedding Season'. The likelihood is that a photographer can fit in only one wedding per day. If they take a reduced hours booking and then another client comes along looking to book them for a full day, they've lost money.

Editing, comms, insurance, tax etc. also go way beyond 'just one day' - and the same can be applied to most of services you want at a wedding. They're not trying to diddle you, they're trying to run a profitable business.

Whilst photographers may take for granted that you want photos of prep etc. the same can be said of Brides and Grooms taking for granted that they are running a business with the same overheads as any other. Of course there are lots of photographers who offer reduced day or hourly packages but if there is a particular photographer you want, the same as a particular venue/florist/cake maker/hairdresser/make up artist etc. you want to book for a 'party' you cut your cloth accordingly.

How are you going to book the ceremony, a day do and a night and expect them not to know its a wedding?

The room hire covers staff too.

Most hotels or venues will not reduce staff on wedding days to merely bar staff.

If you wedding goes wrong, it's their reputation on the line.

You may know it's you fault but guests won't. Word spreads.

Fair enough Mabel but it really shouldn't be made so difficult to refuse an offer of being photographed half-dressed. Not on your wedding day

Fidel1ne that's a shame. We got married couple of months ago in Hampshire (winchester) in small hotel. Was a groom and SIL small family birthday lunch in private dining room- our wedding bit was a total surprise to guests . So registrars entered room, not me. No aisle walking, no readings, no fuss, just as we wanted it. Hants registrars were really good about our v unorthodox approach hope you get yours sorted.

We did in the end thanks Ron

I did this with my hair - just booked a normal appointment and asked for it to be styled how I wanted. I didn't tell them I wanted a wedding haircut, which was about 3x the price for the same thing.

I don't think it would work for a venue though.

You can often dry hire the function room in a hotel and bring in your own caterers and room dressers etc but its an expensive way to do it.

KakiFruit - me too, I said I was going to a wedding, please make my hair look nice, which she did.

It wasn't just about the price difference: I didn't want a fuss and I didn't want to have to negotiate the hairdo, I just wanted it simple.

Re: photographers, your best chance of getting a reduced package is finding a trainee photographer - someone just starting out may quite often happy to do it if you pay their travel and food expenses, any printing costs and being allowed to use the pictures in their portfolio. You take a risk with the quality, but many amateur/new photographers are very good and it will save money.

Of course you can't lie about the ceremony part.
As for the reception part, I personally wouldn't care if I got the exact same service I would get for a birthday party or any other function. I suppose one solution would be to get changed out of your wedding outfits before you went in there. And ask your guests to dress for an informal wedding, so no hats, fascinators or buttonholes, etc.
So, if you really want to cut costs, book a seperate venue (registry office) for your ceremony and turn up at your preferred venue in ordinary clothes and not have any of the usual wedding malarkey.

noeffing I think she wants a day and evening do.

What other event has a day an evening do?

-A ceremony and wedding need much more supervision and managements than a function. If you held a birthday party the events team would
1 - set up the furniture
2 - serve the food
3 - staff the bar
4 - arrange a disco-

Ok, I'd definately want all of those, maybe not the food 'serving' as I plan on having a hog roast/buffet/BBQ style meal rather than 3 course sit down but there may be some stuff the staff would need to do.

-A wedding includes the above PLUS
1 - directing guests to the ceremony room, then out afterwards to a drinks reception - there is only one function room and its right next to the main building (venue is a on a beach) so it should be fairly easy to find!

2 - serve a drinks reception - venue has a separate bar for the function room where guests can buy drinks, I do plan on providing some but only for toasts/speeches etc

3 - then direct guests into the Breakfast room - as above, only one room for everything!

4 - announce the happy couple - don't really need this, DP doesn't really like loads of attention

5 - manage the speeches (announcing them, handing out any gifts) - probably won't have a lot of speeches, maybe just one or two (see above reason)

6 - ensure flawless dinner service (speed, veggie meals where needed,Bride and Groom served first etc) - see above , I hope it will be a very informal, laid back meal anyway

7 - wine service during the meal - as above

8 - announce cake cutting and then cut and serve - not really a fan of cake so may not bother and just have a nice pudding instead

9 - direct guests out at the end of the meal - we'll be going out onto the beach so fairly straightforward

10 - clear any decorations and prep room for evening part - Ok, yes this will need doing!

11 - direct guests back into evening celebrations

12 - serve evening buffut and clear - wedding will be in the afternoon so probably won't need one

13 - arrange storage of wedding gifts and decorations - Ok, may need this but I plan on asking guests not to bring gifts as we already live together and there is nothing we need!

14 - clear up after everyone has left, usually around 12 hours after the whple thing started. - yep, will need this too.

So, out of all those things, maybe 6 or 7 we'll actually want/need?

I appriciate there is a premium the venue will have to pay and I imagine the lovely beachfront location will be a part of why the cost is high but I just want the day to be really chilled and relaxed.

I'm imagining a really low stress day where we turn up in the morning, decorate and prepare the room and make any last minute arrangments/pick stuff up, then go home and change before coming back in the afternoon, have ceremony. Then head out onto the beach for drinks/photos/messing around in the sea while the room is changed over, go back inside and have our meal then just drink and dance the night away!

Seashells with names painted on as favours, that kind of thing .

Sorry for the epic post!

You would surprised how much guests need directing around.

I was a wedding co-ordinator in 3 hotels for 5 years.

The room dressing will take a while. So the room can not be sold for, say, a lunchtime function as you will be in there decorating.

Other thing to consider is time of year and day.

Most popular venues have a minimum guest number that you have to pay or a minimum spend per head for Saturday's, in spring and summer. And possibly Friday, Saturday and Sunday in summer.

So you would get charged the same regardless.

You need to find out if they will let you just have a hog roast. Dbro got married at a hotel and thy had to have the wedding breakfast and a evening reception (which was a hog roast organised through the hotel) and this was for a wedding on a. Friday in September.

It is a very popular venue for weddings though. They wouldn't allow you to bring in your own caters.

Yes, I'm not sure if they would allow outside caterers. The function room has its own kitchen though so that makes it sound as though you can arrange your own food but I'd have to enquire.

I'd be much happier to have the venue do the food is I could save some money on the cost of the room, it's the cost of the the hire that is making me want to arrange food ourselves as it makes it too much otherwise. I guess I'll have to ask them and see what they say.

They don't have a minimum guest quota, the room can only accomodate 100 so it'll be a fairly small wedding.

They don't do lunctime bookings as you either hire the room for the day (9-5) or the evening (5-12) or both, I plan to do both.

I was hoping for a friday/saturday, preferably saturday as that seems to be the most convenient for guests, not sure what month yet but between May and July but before the summer holidays if you see what I mean . I think the price is slightly lower for May but only by £250, and the same for fridays and saturdays so day of the week and month won't make too much difference to the cost.

Some interesting posts from the business side of things. I do think there is a general lack of understanding sometimes about how people price their services, (not necessarily here but I come across it often).

By the seaside and a Saturday... Do they or the registrars even have any availability?