to think about trying to book a wedding venue as a 'party' rather than wedding? Does it actually work?

[Ciabattavonbreadsticks]

Ok, not actually thinking about doing this at the moment but just curious.

I've seen this advise several times, when booking a venue for a wedding people suggest booking it as a 'party' or a 'function' rather than mentioning a wedding as that tends to triple the price.

But does this actually work? Wouldn't the venue notice when you all turn up in wedding stuff? Wouldn't they be annoyed and just charge you the difference after the day?

It is very frustrating as the beautiful venue I have my eye on is £1500 for the day/time I have in mind but only £675 for the same day/time for a 'function'.

I'd also feel a bit bad, like I was doing the venue out of money but wibu to consider it? Has anyone else done this successfully? Or unsuccessfully?

I don't know yet actually, the venue is closed for a month over the winter but I will find out, I was hoping for next summer though so hopefully they will have some.

So pleased we got married abroad.

I couldn't cope with that stress. We went to our fave restaurant after. They were grateful for a 25 person booking and knew it was a wedding party and didn't charge us any more.

Although they did work hard and got a good tip.

Can I be cheeky and ask whereabouts this venue is? Just ballpark directions...

I did this with our wedding cars. Wedding price = £950: function price = £200.

I challenged cost pretty hard (I negotiated aggressively on all wedding costs) and was told that they wouldn't hire the cara for a wedding just for the hour I wanted. They had a 4 hr min hire for weddings and ribbons. Uniforms, etc. Deposited telling them that all I wanted was a 20 min trip in 2 cars with no extras they wouldn't budge.

So I booked it on email from my work email address for a function for x people who needed to go from x to y.

Was a bt nervous about it cocking up in the day so I called them two days before just to confirm "all arrangements for my wedding". They sounded a bit surprised but played along as if they'd not kraken note of it. I have no qualms at all. I paid for an hours hire for cars we used for 20 mins to go from a to b. perfectly fair.

When I was looking to do similar, the venues I contacted had specific clauses in their contracts saying that if you booked it for a party but it turned out to be a wedding, they could cancel or charge the difference.

I'm not being funny but you want prime wedding season, in the summer AND a weekend but you dont want to pay for it.

When someone would probably happily take that date and spend some money at the venue.

Why don't you do a weekday? Out of season? Or find another venue

Also if they allow outside catering they may charge you to make up their losses.

Yabu and doing the venue out of money what a snidey nasty way to start married life

You would surprised how much guests need directing around

Definitely this ^^

My wedding comprised fewer than 60 people in total in a small venue with just a couple of rooms yet they needed loads of ushering around, despite the venue staff doing a great job even the photographer helped with this aspect!

When everyone is merrily chatting away amongst themselves and relaxing with a drink or two I was astonished at how hard it was to shepherd everyone together. Especially if in your case they'll be scattered on the beach!

Snake, it's in the West country.

I did originally look at doing a weekday to cut the costs but after some research it doesn't look practical as it would make things difficult for several family/friends who would need to travel to get to us Plus everyone on MN says its out of order

I really want to do it in the spring/summer when it isnt pouring with rain and/or freezing cold always a possibility in England but hopefully less likely and I won't have to cover up my lovely wedding dress in a massive coat.

Um, lightening I distinctly recall saying this:

-I really don't think I would outright lie as I'd just be too nervous about getting in trouble!-

Where did I say I was planning to do them out of as much money as possible to be a bitch?

I think it's perfectly reasonable to do this for wedding items that you're happy with having ordinary no-fuss versions of. Eg if you want a haircut before the wedding but don't want 'wedding hair' with special treatment, trying it out beforehand, etc, but just a trim. Likewise cake, dresses, flowers etc. If you don't want or need the fancy 'wedding' version, there's no need to tell someone who'll then try to give you the hard sell when you only wanted something simple. Trickier, and more dubious ethically, is venues and people providing a service. Eg I would never lie to a band or DJ performing at my wedding. First because it will be obvious to them as soon as they arrive, and second because they may well need to prepare specially for weddings.

Trickier, and more dubious ethically, is venues and people providing a service

Why is it more dubious ethically to lie to a venue or DJ than it is to lie to a florist, hairdresser, cake maker or dressmaker?

I've never heard of a wedding hair cut!

Wedding hair and wedding stuff In general costs more because there is more involved work. Most people don't want normal stuff!

Majority of people wouldn't just go and pick a chocolate cake off the shelf in the supermarket.

A lot of things associated this weddings are more expensive for a reason.

Flowers for example. Brides (and sometimes grooms) are fussier about the exact centre pieces for their tables and expect them to look a bit more spectacular. Then usually want more centre pieces than you would have fora birthday party. They take more work, very close the to the event. The same goes for the bouquet.

I have never heard of a wedding hair cut. But hairdressers charge more for doing your hair on your wedding day, because (again most not all) brides want something more elaborate and a trial before hand. It's better for hairdressers to give a set price for the work. Rather than it being depending on what you want, because people generally prefer to see wedding hair costs X amount.

Cars again take more prep for a wedding. They won't want to take an hours job on a Saturday, which could mean turning down 4 hour job. Which they may have people lining up for.

This hodges have a negative impact on people who want a low key wedding. But these people have business to run and sometimes small jobs could mean missing out on big work.

Tbh OP I think you need I really think about this. You want a Saturday, in peak season, the ceremony, day do and evening do. While pretending it's not a wedding. The registry office will contact the venue, to confirm details and probably have a good relationship with them.

If cost is an issue you need to compromise somewhere. The venue potentially could end up losing money. They are a business and everyone did this it wouldn't be there for people to get married at.

Tbh the cost you have quoted isn't that bad for all day hire, on a prime date at a prime location. You need to work out your budget and decide whether this is something you can afford. If not you need to compromise.

I did. But then, I wanted - and got - dinner for 30. I just happened to be wearing a wafty white frock. We had the ceremony in church.

So I didn't diddle anybody - there was no cake to cut, or flowery centrepieces to put out, and we were out by 7 to put all the small children to bed (we did tell them about those!)

I think your day will be a low more low stress if you just book it as a wedding, let the staff get on with running the day whilst you get on with enjoying it.

The staff will run things any way you want them to, you get to choose how formal or informal you want it and that's what you'll get whilst the staff absorb the stress behind the scenes.

Op when theytalk about directing people , it's not so much about people getting list, it's about making sure (drunk) people are in the right place at the right time

If you want the ceremony there you will need to tell them it is a wedding. There will be a specific person registered with the council who will need to deal with the legal side. There are strict rules about the specific room that is licensed for weddings. Including when alcohol is served in relation to the timing of the ceremony. Plus many places have to pay a fee for the licence.

wow, with the way some people behave no wonder venues have trouble. Why can't there be two wedding receptions going on in the same building at the same time? What is WRONG with women who don't want anyone else to get married?

long time ago, but I had my wedding meal at a hotel. It was just a meal for a group, with a cake. We didn't ask for (or get) a toastmaster, announcements directions of people, frilly chair covers or any of that shit; and I would have been really cross if that had started happening! I think I did say it was post-wedding (done at the registry office nearby) but we just got charged standard rate.

Most people don't want normal stuff!

The problem is that they try to insist you can't have normal stuff. Trying to host a wedding that isn't the full-blown, bridezilla affair often requires lying because of this!

Not speaking on OP's behalf, but about my own wedding:

We got married in church. Opted out of flashy bells. Family did flowers.

Friends & family did music, ushering and 'announcing'.

Had a marquee reception in friend's garden. Booked the tent, dance floor, tables, chairs and portaloos as a 60th birthday. Family decorated.

Family made cake. I made my dress & flowers, did own hair.

No photographer as didn't want all that waiting around, arranging & posing. Had a sketch artist instead :) and put disposable cameras on tables - no need even for that now! You could create a Facebook page or Flickr account for your wedding, and have everyone upload their phone pics/videos.

Told caterers it was a family party as they had daft wedding rules. I told them the truth when they arrived, said it's okay: we don't want table service, drinks poured, any of that. Guests will sit where they want. Caterers loved it, and were fab.

We bought half the contents of one of those Belgian drinks warehouses, put it all in dustbins full of ice. Bought ice & rented glasses from an off-licence.

We had 150 guests. People said it was one of the best weddings they'd been to because it was relaxed. We all mucked in to wash & tidy up the next day, but the caterers had actually done most of it as a favour

garlic I disagree.

If you want a prime date on a prime time of year (like the OP) venues want and (in a lot of cases) need to make as much money as possible.

Having worked in the is industry, the majority do want a master of ceremonies, etc.

It's offered as standard because that attracts people. It's easier to sell a place that offers all the extras in with a set fee.

I do agree relaxed weddings are far more fun and mine was. Spending 80 hours a week organising other people's weddings, I didn't fancy doing it for my own.

It's different if you did your own hair made your own cake etc. That's cost cutting and isn't the comparison that's being discussed.

The reason why wedding hair at a salon costs more, it takes longer and would involve a trial. Most women wouldn't have wedding hair on a night out or night out hair on their wedding.

A cake maker will charge more for a wedding cake. It's takes longer and the ingredients may cost more.

A wedding dress with cost more than a party dress.

A wedding venue will cost more than a party because there is more work involved which is reflection in the price.

A beach wedding In UK in the summer...having been at lusty glaze in Cornwall when they have had weddings on and other places, I wonder if keeping it to an evening event would be better. Having hundreds of bucket and spade holiday makers around isn't the most romantic vibe! Can hardly see the beach for people! If huge crowds of holiday makers are your thing fine, but it's not the exclusive coastal vibe you may be looking for. By evening people have left for th day and it's more atmospheric, classy and sophisticated.

OP I made all our initial enquiries and got quotes on the basis of a family reunion, not a wedding. As soon as you say the word 'wedding', zeros begin to be added to every tiny item.

Once I'd got all the quotes in and we'd made our choices, I had face-to-face meetings with the managers / heads of companies to go through details. At this point I casually mentioned that it was a wedding reception. As we'd already negotiated and agreed each detail it was a done deal, and none of the venues / companies I used raised an eyebrow (or at least, not to my face ).

Arrange a meeting with the hotel, explain that you don't want a package deal and start from a blank piece of paper. Room hire cost, meal, drinks, dj decks, etc, item by item. This way you get exactly what you want, none of what you don't want and all for a lot, lot less money.

Honestly I don't think they could do anything. If they do pick you up on it you could say it's a wedding celebration as pp have said. Lots of people get married when they have little money then have an actual big do afterwards. They want to charge more for what is effectively the same thing so you're not doing anything wrong morally.