to think about trying to book a wedding venue as a 'party' rather than wedding? Does it actually work?

[Ciabattavonbreadsticks]

Ok, not actually thinking about doing this at the moment but just curious.

I've seen this advise several times, when booking a venue for a wedding people suggest booking it as a 'party' or a 'function' rather than mentioning a wedding as that tends to triple the price.

But does this actually work? Wouldn't the venue notice when you all turn up in wedding stuff? Wouldn't they be annoyed and just charge you the difference after the day?

It is very frustrating as the beautiful venue I have my eye on is £1500 for the day/time I have in mind but only £675 for the same day/time for a 'function'.

I'd also feel a bit bad, like I was doing the venue out of money but wibu to consider it? Has anyone else done this successfully? Or unsuccessfully?

I'm over losing the money. We saved almost £40k plus people are still talking about our wedding which was 8 years ago.

As for spending lots of time planning the event, I planned everything and spent 100 hours in total. That included doing the menu, decorations, flowers, buying dresses, renting tuxedos and sorting transportation out. Cooking wise I was strategic. Dessert was wedding cake and a cheese board for each table. The cheese was left out after for people to nibble on. We got the cheese from our neighbor as a gift, a dairy farmer!

There are no extra staff at a wedding and there isn't extra work to do compared to other events. A lot of venues price gouge weddings. They like to spout stuff like this to make you think you need to pay the extra.

Actually you are wrong.

I worked in hotels for years. There was always extras staff compared with other functions.

Conferences had the least.

Sounds like you dealt with a shit venue. While some venues do insist on evening food, there should have been an alternative.

We didn't want an alternative. We like good food but if eating at 7pm we have zero need for any food at 10pm.

Also having hosted my dads 70th, it was more involved than a wedding, it cost about 50% less than a wedding at the same venue. I had access to a party planner but ended up bringing in my own caterers because they couldn't cope with our food requests. Something as simple as people being able to order from 2 starters, 3 main courses and a drinks card was not possible. They were happy to let us outsource the food but had it been a wedding this would not have been allowed.

Want to be a supermum I'm sorry but there are IMO (a venue owner) substantial differences in staffing a wedding or a party. Of course every venue and wedding requirement is different, but I for one have certainly never exchanged over 50 emails over the course of a year+ about an evening party for a start!

Sometimes people focus so much on not being 'ripped off' they presume that just because a charge is higher then it is a rip off. Not neccesarily, prices aren't just pulled out of thin air, they are painfully calculated to cover a Miriad of costs from full time gardeners, annual redecoration, and everything else required to keep the venue 'wedding perfect' (different to party perfect as the standards expected generally are different, as is the price willing to pay by the client) which all need covering - proportionally by you - if you want your wedding at the perfect [for you] venue! And yes of course they add their gross profit on top that they need in order to stay in business and make it worth doing, would you go to work and give service akin with the best day of someone's life for anything less? business is business.

Anyway getting away from the topic. Hope OP has quiered what the package costs include, managed to get answers and hopefully booked their wedding where they want it!

There are no extra staff at a wedding and there isn't extra work to do compared to other events

Sorry, but this is not correct. I work in the wedding business, and have also worked in hospitality, and IME there is almost always more work involved in a wedding, and usually by quite a lot.

Also having hosted my dads 70th, it was more involved than a wedding
This may be true on this occasion, but an 'average' wedding is definitely more involved than an 'average' function, and what suppliers will base their costs on. Plus, there are usually added costs involved in a wedding that clients are just not aware of.

I appreciate the arguments about business costs, but dispute the insistence that suppliers don't milk weddings! All the caterers I spoke to - big and small outfits - wanted a minimum of 100% extra for what amounted to pretty napkins and a couple of wait staff. And they told me I must have these for my wedding: ie, I must pay for them whether I wanted them or not.

So I lied.

So I lied

That's a risky strategy though. What if the supplier found out when they arrived at the venue, and refused to supply the catering/cake/flowers or whatever. Or just gave you the amount you had paid for at wedding rates ie disco played for 2 hours instead of 3. I think they'd be in their rights to do so really. Just because you don't agree with or understand how they price their service , it doesn't mean you should lie about it. Just get the quote and then go elsewhere if you think it's too much.

Eh? No, I had exactly what I paid for. I did tell the caterer when they arrived, it would've been stupid not to. The marquee supplier was never any the wiser.

I wouldn't fancy the chances of a supplier who tried to pursue additional payments in court, on the basis that he agreed to provide X at £Y for a specific party but changed his mind on the price when the party turned out to be a wedding/barmitzvah.

How would you feel if you were buying an outfit to go to a wedding and the price suddenly doubled when you mentioned the W word?

I wouldn't fancy the chances of a supplier who tried to pursue additional payments in court, on the basis that he agreed to provide X at £Y for a specific party but changed his mind on the price when the party turned out to be a wedding/barmitzvah

But if the contract is based on you saying it's a party, but it's a wedding, it's you that has breached the contract. And besides, what are you going to do on the day if the supplier refuses to supply the service?

I do understand why people are tempted to lie, I'm just saying that it's risky. And as a wedding supplier, I'd be very pissed off if a client lied to me, because I understand how my pricing works, even if the client doesn't.

Court isn't the point, anyone could refuse on the day.

Lying is risky, immature and totally unprofessional.

I'd be very pissed off if a client lied to me, because I understand how my pricing works, even if the client doesn't.

Look. If I book you to provide the service you provide to a birthday party, WHY should I pay more than twice as much because it's a wedding party??

Don't you understand that the whole reason people lie about their weddings these days is because we don't want to be told what we want?

I see your 'ordinary' party service. It is what I want.
You tell me I can't have that service, I have to have a different one?
Just why?

I see your 'ordinary' party service. It is what I want

IME, most brides think they want the ordinary service, but really they don't. They want consultations. They want samples. They want lots of correspondence before the big day. They want the supplier to go the extra mile.

You may be one of the few brides that doesn't want all that. But how does the supplier know that before the day? They can hardly add a cost on because the bride has emailed too many times. Wedding suppliers have to price according to the 'average' bride.

Also, as I said upthread, for my business, my wedding marketing is much higher than my party marketing. How did you find your suppliers, at a wedding fair? Website? Did you want to see the marquee before the day, or taste the food? Most brides will want to, before deciding to go with that supplier. It all has to be paid for.

I'm not telling you what you want. Quite the opposite, you can have exactly the service you want. But that costs. It would actually be easier for me to have a 'set' service, but I provide a bespoke service. Which takes time. And money.

Thanks for your answer! To your questions: No, no, and no all the way through. I wanted relaxed & no fuss. I would not have gone to a wedding fair if there was money in it, because I knew I didn't want a 'magazine wedding'. Come to that, I didn't buy any wedding magazines either :D

Can you see why I was fucked off at being told I wanted what I knew I didn't want? And fucked off that lying was the only way to get what I did want?

Can you see why I was fucked off at being told I wanted what I knew I didn't want

Yes of course, but then don't choose a supplier who can't or won't give you what you want. Find one that can. Don't lie. And accept that, like it or not, weddings are more expensive than parties for all the reasons given above. Can you not see why a supplier would be fucked off at being lied to, just because a bride does not understand how prices are calculated?

OK, you are really not getting my point budgie. Never mind.

And I don't think you're getting mine, but there we go! We'll agree to differ .

Ah well, I'm off to bed, I've got to be up early to spend 8 hours doing a wedding fair tomorrow after spending 16 hours today preparing for it. But I won't include any of those costs when I give the brides and grooms quotes tomorrow

I think what Budgie is trying to say is that even though a bride may not have seen her stall at a wedding fair or her advert in Brides magazine, that marketing costs still need to be covered. So if Budgie does 40 weddings a year, every bridal party is going to pay 1/40th.

-IME, most brides think they want the ordinary service, but really they don't. They want consultations. They want samples. They want lots of correspondence before the big day. They want the supplier to go the extra mile-

To be honest, I really don't want the extra stuff and really do want just the normal service! I don't care about samples or colours, if everything doesn't exactly match it will not be a problem at all for me.

Oops, posted too soon! I don't want to send 10 000 emails, I have a very clear idea of what me & DP want and all I want is a meeting to view the venue and discuss costs and once it's booked it will be a case of 'see you in xx months' :D

I plan to DIY as much as possible, I really like the idea of doing as much as possible myself, making things, decorating, I really would like to do things myself if at all possible.

I totally appriciate that suppliers have a business to run and have costs that they need to cover but similarly, I want to have a wedding that suits me & DP and doesn't cost the earth. We are very down to earth people and tbh at my first wedding a lot of the 'stuff' was organised and sorted by other people and I really didn't like that, I just felt like I was attending an event organised by someone else rather than it being something of my own creation that I was really involved in. I don't want it to be this way this time around!

Hope I'm making sense

I totally appriciate that suppliers have a business to run and have costs that they need to cover but similarly, I want to have a wedding that suits me & DP and doesn't cost the earth

Of course you do, and that's fine. But then you need to find a venue that fits your budget, or see if you can negotiate. Don't lie to get the price you think you should pay.

No, you're right Budgie, I shouldn't lie and to be honest I didn't want to and never intended to as it just doesn't feel right. I just wanted to gather opinion about whether or not it was possible and if anyone in RL had actually done this to good or bad consequences as I've seen this advice many times!

Can I ask what service you provide for weddings? You can PM me if need be, I'm just curious and trying to gather information

I shouldn't lie and to be honest I didn't want to and never intended to as it just doesn't feel right

I got that from your OP, it is an interesting discussion though. I can certainly see why people might be tempted to lie.

OP, I make wedding cakes, it's a great job and I love it !

I think the fact that I want to have the venue and the ceremony at the same location really means I can't be less than 100% honest, as several others have pointed out, even if I did want to! But even if I could, I still don't think I would want to.

I really don't want to get married in a registry office, as I said before the one closest to us is really grotty and horrible looking but the one closest to the venue is tiny and only accomodates 30 guests so wouldn't be suitable. I have quite a large family and we are all very close so if I didn't invite someone they would be very upset and offended and I don't want that. Plus I'm very much of the opinion that anyone important enough to me to be invited to the wedding would be invited to the whole thing, ceremony and reception, so having a tiny ceremony would not be right.

Budgie I can totally see why people lie, there has to be a balance somewhere between ripping people off and paying decent money for a service surely?

I can imagine making wedding cakes would be a lovely job, I wish I was that talented

Budgie I can totally see why people lie, there has to be a balance somewhere between ripping people off and paying decent money for a service surely?

Thing is, I don't think that the majority of venues/suppliers are out to rip clients off, at least in my opinion, they are charging the price that covers their additional costs, that will make a profit, and that the market will stand. It's a simple business formula really.

Like I said, it might well be worth negotiating to reduce the price, if you don't want everything that is on offer, but remember that a venue may not want reduce the price at peak times, as they could probably book it out to someone who will pay the full price.

OP, I truly hope you get the day you want, and that you have a wonderful wedding.

Thanks Budgie

I don't think that most places do try and rip you off but it does grate a bit when some places will charge you extra for stuff you don't want or need.

I'll get in touch with the place when they reopen again and try and do some negotiations and we'll see what happens!