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MNHQ have commented on this thread

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MNHQ have commented on this thread

AIBU?

to not want my fil to stay over on new years eve

384 replies

chocoholic05 · 30/12/2015 20:12

My mil died earlier on in the year. My dh wants to invite my fil to stay tomorrow night and into new years day. In fact despite endless discussions with dh from a conversation with fil today it seems he has. I don't want him to. I would rather came for dinner on new years day and stay for tea as well. My reasons are we only have a small house so where would he sleep other than our living room? He never ever lies in no matter what time he goes to bed. He will bring his dog who is also an early riser. And he will expect us to get up. Alsothe dog smells really badly. I know that sounds horrible but it's absolutely true. Finally I like new year spent with my boys. Family games and dvds.He is only a ten minute drive away. But my dh said it's his first new year on his own.

OP posts:

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Helloitsme90 · 01/01/2016 18:18

Let's just hope your children are never in the position you put you DH. What a lovely kind empathetic person you are OP.

baublesbells · 01/01/2016 18:23

Just leave the OP alone now, NYE is over now so no point telling her now what she should have done

RufusTheReindeer · 01/01/2016 18:35

I am with OP my dad didnt sleep over on New Years

He stayed til about 12.30 and was invited back after lunch today for his tea

He seems quite happy...just didnt want to be alone on NYE...and he wasnt

kali110 · 01/01/2016 19:48

MiscellaneousAssortment I'm so sorry for your loss

I'm really not surprised op got so much hate for this.
I feel sad for her fil but am really glad to see how many others were upset by this.
If my partner did this, i would never feel the same way about him again.

chocoholic05 · 02/01/2016 19:49

Excuse me but this is really and truly a non issue. My father in law was quite happy on new years eve and happy when we saw him on new years day. He stayed for dinner and tea. There was and is no problem. My dh rang on new years eve and explained that there was no where for him to sleep. He said to dh that was exactly what he was trying to say to me when he said to me that there will be nowhere for me to sleep except in our livinroom!I thought he meant that's where he'd have to sleep. He was far more comfortable in his life bed. So a lot of misunderstanding allows round i think!

OP posts:

chocoholic05 · 02/01/2016 19:50

Clearly meant his own bed!

OP posts:

chocoholic05 · 02/01/2016 19:58

Also a lot of misunderstanding all round!

OP posts:

ssd · 02/01/2016 23:48

doesn't change the fact you were quite happy to allow a recently bereaved old man to be alone on new years eve when you thought he wanted to stay at your house.

Duck90 · 02/01/2016 23:53

It's still a sad tale though. I read that he was being polite and said don't worry about me staying. Your dp called his dad and said their was no room, after inviting his dad earlier to stay. I really don't see why it was so hard for fil to be made welcome. Good new year to you all.

Toughasoldboots · 02/01/2016 23:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

schoolisback123 · 03/01/2016 00:34

This is one of those threads I wish I hadn't read.. Just wondered why asking the question in the first place..

ladymariner · 03/01/2016 01:41

You keep telling yourself that choco.....

Hope you enjoyed your lie in, hope it was worth it. You got your dh to tell your bereaved elderly fil there was no room for him to stay, after previously inviting him, on new years eve....what else was he supposed to say? Kick up a fuss? Demand to stay? He did the only thing he could which was to try to keep a bit of dignity and prevent his self-obsessed dil from being even more of a drama llama than she already was being. Of course he said that was fine, what else could he say?
Happy new year to you.......

kali110 · 03/01/2016 01:42

Just stop, your last updates haven't helped you.
I hope this is a better year for your husband and fil.

When i read threads like this it makes me truly thankful i have my dh.

HawkEyeTheNoo · 03/01/2016 02:48

I have read all of this, I'm so sad. My mother has terminal lung cancer, we may have spent our last new year together. Next year, if God forbid, my beautiful mother hasn't made it, I would let my father sleep in my bed so he is not alone, and guess what, we don't even get in together, he properly doesn't like me. I'd never see him alone on an occasion like this. I'm so sorry for you that you think that is remotely acceptable and my DP, for what it's worth would give up his bed for either of my parents at any time. Puzzled by the lack of empathy shown here and glad I'm not your friend, and my parents live less than five minutes away for what it's worth

HawkEyeTheNoo · 03/01/2016 02:49

** Er I'd let him sleep in my bed .. Without me or DP.. That reads a bit strange sorry

AnyoneFucoffee · 03/01/2016 05:32

My dh rang on new years eve and explained that there was no where for him to sleep

I have read the whole thread and then this bit makes me realise the invitation was rescinded on the day?

Of course he's going to be 'happy' to go home. He can hardly insist on staying once it's become clear you don't want him to, can he?

How terribly sad.

Oh. And another who thinks it's odd that Jane is in full control of everything,... Except her temper/emotions that can't possibly cope with losing a few hours sleep.

Hootthatnanny · 03/01/2016 05:43

There wasn't really "nowhere to sleep" though was there? Your kids could've shared/slept in the living room, or you yourselves could've done it, just for one night.

You sound so incredibly selfish, try and not think about yourself ALL the time, just try.

rainbowstardrops · 03/01/2016 07:25

OP, your latest update just makes you sound even more cold and heartless!

You made your DH univite his dad? Wow, nasty nasty! What else was his dad supposed to say once he was put on the spot?

The worst thing about this is that you honestly can not see what on earth you have done wrong.
That's worrying.
Be careful, you might just end up sad and lonely one day.

Greengardenpixie · 03/01/2016 08:06

Its done and dusted now so what exactly is the point of going on about this thread. Ok, it was decided he would stay at his own home. Big deal. Get over it now and move on!

kali110 · 03/01/2016 08:08

HawkEyeTheNoo I'm so sorry x

Greengardenpixie · 03/01/2016 08:08

That was not directed at you OP. Just at people still going on at it. Its time to call it a day on this thread. Hope mine is the last post before it gets nasty. Enough said.

whois · 03/01/2016 11:53

I can't believe the OP is getting so much stick for this!he wasn't alone on NYE and came back on NYD, he just slept in his own home. Winner winner for everyone.

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comingintomyown · 03/01/2016 11:55

So your DH invited him to stay overnight without your permission and then had to ring him to say oh we've just remembered we don't have anywhere for you to sleep ?

I think you should have been kinder and allowed the invitation to stand, potentially he would have decided for himself to return home which is very different to what happened

I agree with those that said at some level your DH will be affected by this I would be working very hard to redeem yourself OP although you sound like someone untroubled by the views of others and confident of your own rightness

Bing0wings · 03/01/2016 19:15

Omg. FIL was not bothered about staying the night. He didn't really want to sleep in living room. He went over on NYE and NYD. He lives 10 mins away and was driven home. The negative reaction to this is way over the top. If you have inlaw (with kids) who is happy to have you over on NYE and NYD then that's pretty good.

kali110 · 03/01/2016 21:23

'Pretty good to have inlaws who would have you over on nye and nyd'
Why wouldn't you?
Sometimes feel like i am in a parallel universe on here.
As someone else said up thread, whatelse was the fil supposed to say? The invite was receeded on the day!

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