to not want my fil to stay over on new years eve

[chocoholic05]

My mil died earlier on in the year. My dh wants to invite my fil to stay tomorrow night and into new years day. In fact despite endless discussions with dh from a conversation with fil today it seems he has. I don't want him to. I would rather came for dinner on new years day and stay for tea as well. My reasons are we only have a small house so where would he sleep other than our living room? He never ever lies in no matter what time he goes to bed. He will bring his dog who is also an early riser. And he will expect us to get up. Alsothe dog smells really badly. I know that sounds horrible but it's absolutely true. Finally I like new year spent with my boys. Family games and dvds.He is only a ten minute drive away. But my dh said it's his first new year on his own.

I think this sounds fine. I'd rather sleep in my own bed and be able to potter getting up in my own way, than stay at someone else's place on their sofa.

I really don't get why the OP is getting such hate.

I don't know why she is getting such hate either
Glad you all had a good night op

If that's what FIL wanted then it's fine.
Unfortunately I have a feeling that he didn't get much say in the matter.
I sincerely hope that you never find yourself alone OP.
Jeez

But that's not what he wanted mummy. He accepted the invitation to stay overnight, the invitation was then retracted.

So you got your own way..... How sad.

Congrats OP - you won!

You feel vindicated because your FIL had the grace not to ask you to change your mind. Well done you.

I find this selfishness absolutely disgusting. As a person who has recently lost her mother if I heard my sister in law talking in this way about my father I wouldn't be quiet about it. One bloody night and one lie in, you can lie in Saturday and Sunday. Anyway you got your own way. Happy New Year, I hope you don't find out what true grief is for a very long time.

"
No hate from me, just puzzled as to why someone would post in AIBU and not take on a single point that anyone posted out of about five hundred replies. Most people would try and get something out of it."

^^
Exactly.

Well done OP, at least you got your way.

OP I am sure he had a lovely night with you all. I don't think anyone doubts that, and it's not even what thread is about.

Though you can't speak to how he felt this morning, can you? Or what a comfort it would have been for he and your DH to have each other around this morning.

What a shame that you didn't have the niceness in you to give them both that.

If that is what Fil really wanted then that's okay. I still think he would actually have rather stayed the night as now he has woken up on his own on New Years Day.
You were very mean not to offer him to stay the night

I bet your husband sees you in a new light though

You 'won' but you've shown your true colours.

OP, did you consider that it was your husband who wanted his dad to stay the night? He's lost his mother, perhaps it was him who was feeling a bit sad and wanted that comfort? I'm sure you're feeling smug but you might well have damaged a couple of important family relationships, all over one bloody lie in. I do think there are times when you stand your ground with family members but this really wasn't one of those times.

You won!! slow clap

Great, bravo you.

I hope you'll be happy and content for your children to resent their annoying inconvenient mother when you are grieving for your partner in years to come.

After all, this is what you are teaching them.

My father died one year ago today. I am now a horrible inconvenience to people like you. It hurts.

But I guess nothing matters to you except your own happiness and comfort.

There may come a time OP, that you wake up in a bed with a cold empty spot beside you on New Years Morning and realise that your sons find you a bit of a nuisance and a burden, interfering with their lie-ins and time with their families. If that happens, I'm sure you'll understand their stance fully, wont you?

No idea why there is need for such hate or character assignation on this thread. Just shows how people only want an argument rather than to offer an opinion and leave it at that.

If he kept saying what a lovely time he'd had did it not occur to you he might have meant he didn't want to leave? But hey you got your own way nice one!

I'm not after an argument, she asked for an opinion and the truth is I find it absolutely disgusting that the only reason she doesn't want him staying over is because of a lie in. Never mind that her DH already invited DF and it was clearly something they both wanted to do.