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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask what incorrect or useless advice gets repeatedly doled out here?

587 replies

ComposHatComesBack · 30/12/2015 06:40

Aside from the ubiquitous 'book a spa day and leave him to deal with the kids.' There are a few old chestnuts that get rolled out regularly despite them being useless or counterproductive.

Every time there's a thread on mislabeled goods, someone will come on to the thread, absolutely adamant that the shop have to sell at that mis-labelled price.

On debates about baby on board stickers, there will be people who will be adamant that they are recommended by or useful to the emergency services. As if a team of highly trained rescue team is going to think 'sod it, I can't see a garish daddy's little princess sticker, let's not bother checking in the back'.

Those are just mostly annoying, but I sometimes worry about poorly-informed blowhards merrily typing in bad advice without thinking of the consequences. The stock response to landlords dragging their feat over repairs: 'get a tradesperson in to do the work and then send the bill/get them to send the bill to the landlord'

  • Yeah because once you've explained that, no you don't actually own the house and you won't be actually paying them for the work or the materials, but instead will be forwarding the bill to a landlord who's shown no inclination to fix the problem so far, so in all likelihood they'll never see a penny, you'll have tradespeople fighting like rats in a sack to take on the job.

Even more daft and dangerous is the advice to 'withhold the rent and use the money to fix the problem' which puts some poor sod at risk of eviction.

And more than once, i've seen posters with mortgage arrears or negative equity being told to ' hand back the keys to the mortgage provider and walk away' as if thebank or building society are then going to think 'yeah fair dos' forget about the mortgage debt.'

I hope to God no one has taken this useless and at times dangerous advice at face value!

OP posts:
SauvignonPlonker · 31/12/2015 22:35

I should say that I was offered & accepted 2 reassurance scans on the NHS on my 4th pregnancy - after a molar pregnancy & a MMC.

When I had my m/c it was really difficult to get appointments at EPU to confirm my suspicions of m/c. But I certainly wouldn't have faked symptoms to get them, knowing how scarce free slots were.

Enjolrass · 01/01/2016 07:33

My sil did the scan thing.

She had, had one miscarriage and wanted reassurance and lied to get her second pregnancy scanned early.

She also used to claim reduced movements late in ph to try and get extra scans. It's worked once, but usually they just listened in a monitored babies heart rate.

She did it every week for the last 6 weeks.

Annoyed me so much as I nearly lost ds my placenta deteriorated and I noticed lack of movement.

She is quite proud of herself for figuring out a way round the usual procedures Confused

aquashiv · 01/01/2016 08:09

Despite the odd duff advice, there is a huge amount that is bang on and offered without agenda.
The knowledge sharing and the acerbic wit is one of the main reasons this site is so popular imo.
As you were. ..
Happy New YearSmile

HortonWho · 01/01/2016 08:18

the reassurance scans... It's so varied, depending on your medical history and area that one person's experience won't always be the same as another's. For example, a friend of mine was a first time mother at 39 and got a vaginal scan around 6-7 weeks... She had a nasty flu-like bug for a couple of weeks over holiday and was sure she had lost the baby. Her GP arranged for a scan. So if you asked me, I would have advised to just see your GP - dead easy. And, I'd probably be wrong because you might not have the same experience.

ilovesooty · 01/01/2016 10:24

Generally the advice that involves childish point scoring and tit for tat behaviour.

It's hardly likely to be constructive or enhance a relationship in any positive way.

YeOldeTrout · 01/01/2016 12:08

It's funny because I can't imagine an early scan being reassuring. Nothing is reassuring until you're home after the birth with healthy baby in arms.

SauvignonPlonker · 01/01/2016 12:16

You're right, Trout. For me it was confirming that my pregnancy hadn't ended without symptoms, like previously (MMC at 11.5 weeks after a healthy scan at 8+5 - very rare apparently). And that it wasn't another molar pregnancy (also very rare).

So I did fit my local criteria for scans, but it was very tough emotionally as you know a scan is just a snapshot of that moment in time, and it can all go wrong shortly thereafter (as it had previously).

EatShitDerek · 01/01/2016 14:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BluePancakes · 01/01/2016 14:35

You're definitely right, Trout.

I opted not to have early scans in my second pregnancy, even though I was bleeding and losing clots. Why? Because the same happened in my first pg, and I was wrongly told I had miscarried as they initially couldn't see anything, and then saw an empty sac. The blood test with high hormone levels was "proof" that I was previous pg, but it was gone. Fortunately I had to go back a week later for a scan to check it was clear, and they found DD1's heartbeat. I did have to keep having scans (firstly because I had on/off bleeding for the first trimester, and secondly because she wasn't growing according to their timescale which may/may not have been because I was suffering with HG) until 24wks. So, when I was pg with DD2 I refused any scans until I was 10wks because I didn't want to be wrongly told I'd miscarried again.

fusionconfusion · 05/01/2016 19:49

Get a job/start your own business me laugh too. I live in a country with extremely high unemployment. Would be lovely. Not happening. Most of my friends advertise as childcarers. Virtually no work going.

Gwenhwyfar · 05/01/2016 21:38

"She also used to claim reduced movements late in ph to try and get extra scans. It's worked once, but usually they just listened in a monitored babies heart rate."

I heard of someone who just went to different doctors to get multiple scans. This was in a different country without centralised medical records.

reni2 · 05/01/2016 22:01

Loads of advice from people who haven't been there yet.

My teen does... . OMG, you need to do XY and Z, my kids would never dare do that or talk to me like that. Really, I have tried X and Y and Z, it didn't work. How old are your teens, how did you make it work? Mine are 2.5 and 8 months. Fuck off.

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