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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask what incorrect or useless advice gets repeatedly doled out here?

587 replies

ComposHatComesBack · 30/12/2015 06:40

Aside from the ubiquitous 'book a spa day and leave him to deal with the kids.' There are a few old chestnuts that get rolled out regularly despite them being useless or counterproductive.

Every time there's a thread on mislabeled goods, someone will come on to the thread, absolutely adamant that the shop have to sell at that mis-labelled price.

On debates about baby on board stickers, there will be people who will be adamant that they are recommended by or useful to the emergency services. As if a team of highly trained rescue team is going to think 'sod it, I can't see a garish daddy's little princess sticker, let's not bother checking in the back'.

Those are just mostly annoying, but I sometimes worry about poorly-informed blowhards merrily typing in bad advice without thinking of the consequences. The stock response to landlords dragging their feat over repairs: 'get a tradesperson in to do the work and then send the bill/get them to send the bill to the landlord'

  • Yeah because once you've explained that, no you don't actually own the house and you won't be actually paying them for the work or the materials, but instead will be forwarding the bill to a landlord who's shown no inclination to fix the problem so far, so in all likelihood they'll never see a penny, you'll have tradespeople fighting like rats in a sack to take on the job.

Even more daft and dangerous is the advice to 'withhold the rent and use the money to fix the problem' which puts some poor sod at risk of eviction.

And more than once, i've seen posters with mortgage arrears or negative equity being told to ' hand back the keys to the mortgage provider and walk away' as if thebank or building society are then going to think 'yeah fair dos' forget about the mortgage debt.'

I hope to God no one has taken this useless and at times dangerous advice at face value!

OP posts:
YeOldeTrout · 31/12/2015 19:11

My mom was told 4 wks or 1 month, late 1960s. And of course she made up her own formula, too. I had baby rice in my bottle at 3.5 weeks. I'm healthy as a horse, btw, but I think that's in spite of no breastmilk.

Re weaning off breast at 6 months: my friend had a 1975 Bounty book and it strongly advised to do this (wean from breastmilk onto formula at 6 months). Harmful to baby not to. Seems they didn't understand how low-iron in breastmilk could be enough.

Micah · 31/12/2015 19:13

I know mil says dh was eating entire jars of heinz baby food before he left hospital. That was back in the 60's/70's when you had to stay in a week post birth. Apparently he was never satisfied (funnily enough, as less calories than milk) so they shovelled more and more jars into him, progressing very quickly to higher calorie solids like ice cream and rusks/weetabix in bottles.

Unsuprisingly he has serious gut issues now. And also issues around food throught his life (food refuser as a child/teen, as an adult he eats all manner of shite, and i have to hide food or it'll all be eaten in secret..)

With my own i waited until they could swipe food off my plate and have it eaten before i could stop them, about 5.5 months i think.

bumbleymummy · 31/12/2015 19:17

Wow. No wonder some mothers/MILs think that babies are being starved these days when they're 'only' being given BM up to around 6 months Confused

DifferentCats · 31/12/2015 19:30

I agree about learning to drive. It's cost me in excess of £4000 so far (including buying the car) and I still can't legally drive. And honestly, I am not bad at driving!

GiddyOnZackHunt · 31/12/2015 19:32

I'm a 70s Rusk in formula in a bottle at night baby. With colitis.

ilovesooty · 31/12/2015 19:44

I've seen yet another thread today where the OP was battered by advice she didn't even ask for. Some people are either incapable of reading properly or so self important they think their advice is essential.

DecaffCoffeeAndRollupsPlease · 31/12/2015 20:13

The prejudice is SN or Parent-Failure (or maybe other adult abuser) no other options allowed

I would ask for advice about my violent teen but, I've already had a gut full of three years of the above either or that I'm not willing to risk it on here.

NickiFury · 31/12/2015 20:18

I had a huge falling out with my mother when she told me I should be weaning ds at six weeks, she was really pushy about it and I was equally pushy about not doing it as advice when ds was younger was 4.5 months. As it was it didn't feel right so I didn't till gone six months anyway. But six weeks was definitely what the advice was back then in the early seventies when I was a baby.

sparechange · 31/12/2015 20:31

I'm currently in France and went to a pharmacy today
On the shelf next to the formula, they sell powdered baby rice. The picture on the box shows it being added to a bottle, and it says it is suitable for 4m+
They had several brands, so it must be popular...

HortonWho · 31/12/2015 20:45

Anyone experienced tea being given to babies in their bottles? Theres was a cultural shock. I thought they were taking the piss because I lived in England. About half a dozen different brands, too. This is the only bilingual image I could find.

To ask what incorrect or useless advice gets repeatedly doled out here?
ilovesooty · 31/12/2015 20:46

That mention of a pharmacy has just reminded me of something else. I'm regularly worried by posters advising others where to buy prescription or controlled drugs online and accounts of bringing them back to the UK from trips abroad.

Takeparacetamolandstopmoaning · 31/12/2015 20:47

All the baby food here says from 4m too. The government didn't change the advertising legislation when they adopted the WHO recommendations. Obviously companies won't do it themselves as they get another 2 months of sales from people who do what a product tells them to.

Aeroflotgirl · 31/12/2015 20:47

Well obviously some advice is very off the mark and dodgy, but some is warranted. Yes NSPCC is an advice line, if op is unsure about anything to do with child abuse or safeguarding children then they should call. There are cases on here when tge op is clearly being abused (financially, sexually,physically or emotional), where LTB is warranted. With signposts if where to get help or how. Or if the partner is just a complete cocklodger or knob.

Takeparacetamolandstopmoaning · 31/12/2015 20:48

Yes baby tea! I quite like the idea. It's only herby water isn't it?

Takeparacetamolandstopmoaning · 31/12/2015 20:48

(As opposed to proper tea)

SauvignonPlonker · 31/12/2015 20:52

Advice about faking miscarriage symptoms to get a reassurance early pregnancy scan seems to be common & makes me Angry

Mrsmorton · 31/12/2015 20:54

sauvignon Shock is that a thing? That's disgraceful.

SauvignonPlonker · 31/12/2015 20:58

Unfortunately I've seen it many times on threads, where someone is concerned about loss of pregnancy symptoms, has perhaps had a previous miscarriage, or is having spotting etc. Other posters tend to advise phoning EPU & asking for scans.

GiddyOnZackHunt · 31/12/2015 21:05

I'be seen it too sauvignon. Most areas don't do reassurance scans after 1 mc so some people suggest inventing cramps or bleeding to get one. Making it harder for genuinely mc women to get scanned.

HortonWho · 31/12/2015 21:09

Takepara, yup it is (though they do sweeten it a bit with either sugar or juice). In fact, I had seen it in local park but had assumed it was diluted apple juices at the time.

bumbleymummy · 31/12/2015 21:38

Sauvignon that's awful :( I do get offered early scans for reassurance ( not that it's helped :( ) I didn't realise people were abusing that.

expatinscotland · 31/12/2015 22:08

I got offered a scan at 8 weeks and another at 12 after missed mc. It may have been because I was old, too. 37.

bumbleymummy · 31/12/2015 22:20

Sssshhhh expat. 37 isn't old.

aquashiv · 31/12/2015 22:23

It gets easier after the first year....
It gets easier when they start nursery/primary/secondary school/leave home
It never gets easier ...

GiddyOnZackHunt · 31/12/2015 22:27

expat it varies between areas. Mine was a 2 mc before reassurance scans with no allowance for age.

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