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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask what incorrect or useless advice gets repeatedly doled out here?

587 replies

ComposHatComesBack · 30/12/2015 06:40

Aside from the ubiquitous 'book a spa day and leave him to deal with the kids.' There are a few old chestnuts that get rolled out regularly despite them being useless or counterproductive.

Every time there's a thread on mislabeled goods, someone will come on to the thread, absolutely adamant that the shop have to sell at that mis-labelled price.

On debates about baby on board stickers, there will be people who will be adamant that they are recommended by or useful to the emergency services. As if a team of highly trained rescue team is going to think 'sod it, I can't see a garish daddy's little princess sticker, let's not bother checking in the back'.

Those are just mostly annoying, but I sometimes worry about poorly-informed blowhards merrily typing in bad advice without thinking of the consequences. The stock response to landlords dragging their feat over repairs: 'get a tradesperson in to do the work and then send the bill/get them to send the bill to the landlord'

  • Yeah because once you've explained that, no you don't actually own the house and you won't be actually paying them for the work or the materials, but instead will be forwarding the bill to a landlord who's shown no inclination to fix the problem so far, so in all likelihood they'll never see a penny, you'll have tradespeople fighting like rats in a sack to take on the job.

Even more daft and dangerous is the advice to 'withhold the rent and use the money to fix the problem' which puts some poor sod at risk of eviction.

And more than once, i've seen posters with mortgage arrears or negative equity being told to ' hand back the keys to the mortgage provider and walk away' as if thebank or building society are then going to think 'yeah fair dos' forget about the mortgage debt.'

I hope to God no one has taken this useless and at times dangerous advice at face value!

OP posts:
Dec2015 · 31/12/2015 17:27

One question I asked ages ago prompted some replies that pissed me right off... Not bad advice per se, but it fits with sensing the tone of a question and responding appropriately.

It was recommendations for iPhone apps for toddlers. I had some great replies, then some knob head came on and lectured me about giving an iPhone to a toddler.

I had explained it was for a long car journey, I had horrific PND and it was basically a way to get through a tough few hours.

'But you could count cars'

Yes we could, but that wasn't what I asked.

And it just made me feel more shit. I wasn't asking how to drug her or stop myself beating her, but no this poster thought now was the time to give some amazing parenting advice.
I even said 'thanks for all suggestions, we're off now' and this one just carried on.

Knobhead Angry

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 31/12/2015 17:45

Did anyone else here have a first baby in 1990 and rely on Penelope Leach's book?

I can't recall when I started weaning but it would have been when she said to.

TheDowagerCuntess · 31/12/2015 17:51

Dec - I had that same reaction when I asked for similar recs for a long-haul flight.

I found myself justifying the long flight (to visit the ILs and other friends and family), and so as an added bonus, I was also told I was ruining my children by keeping them so far from one set of grandparents! Grin

Dec2015 · 31/12/2015 17:55

Amazing.

It's like the poster telling the op to give her house to a sitting tenant rather than sell it on the open market... Spectacularly missing the point and making massive assumptions into the bargain

Bogeyface · 31/12/2015 18:00

Lass I had DS in 1990 and that was the baby who I was told to wean at 10 weeks instead of 12 (which was standard at the time). My friend had a PL book and she weaned at 12 weeks. Start with puree, work up to lumpy food and spend 2 weeks panicking because they keep gagging, then onto finger food with further gagging....ah the memories!

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 31/12/2015 18:25

Thanks. I followed PL to the letter. (She could have told me any old nonsense)

wannaBe · 31/12/2015 18:26

Friend has a baby and has said that the NHS advice for weaning has now changed back to from seventeen weeks.

There is quite a bit of research which suggests that weaning from six months is actually increasing allergies and therefore advice is going backwards again.

BertieBotts · 31/12/2015 18:30

The number of times I have seen a poster with a five month old that no longer sleeps through, has increased feeds and is very hard to keep fed be told 'you must not wean before 6 months'.

This is not a reason to wean. It's entirely normal developmental behaviour for a 5 month old.

bumbleymummy · 31/12/2015 18:34

This NHS advice (last reviewed in March 2015) says 'around 6 months'.

Alisvolatpropiis · 31/12/2015 18:35

I thought the same, Bertie.

I starting weaning my daughter (just tastes of veg really rather than meals) at 5.5 months because she displayed all the advised cues for readiness. Her sleep/ability to be satisfied by milk has never changed (I'm lucky re that I suppose) so if I'd been waiting for sleep regression as a cue she may well never get solid food!

BertieBotts · 31/12/2015 18:35

NHS advice was from 17 weeks seven years ago. I don't know about earlier because I didn't have a baby then.

BertieBotts · 31/12/2015 18:38

In terms of "Around 6 months but no earlier than 17 weeks" anyway, which is the same as what it is now.

Nobody ever advised that it was from 6 months - if people are advising that here then that is incorrect. There are signs of readiness which can occur before 26 weeks but waking up and not being satisfied are not signs.

Takeparacetamolandstopmoaning · 31/12/2015 18:43

"Friend has a baby and has said that the NHS advice for weaning has now changed back to from seventeen weeks.

There is quite a bit of research which suggests that weaning from six months is actually increasing allergies and therefore advice is going backwards again."

Your friend is wrong. I have just weaned my baby. The yellow leaflet lists signs of readiness (sitting up holding head up picking up food accurately bringing it to mouth and swallowing (loss of tongue thrust) NHS specify these signs rarely happen together before 6 months.

bumbleymummy · 31/12/2015 18:47

How do people feel about putting rusks in bottles from 7 weeks? Grin Lovely little gem from a FB group I was on. I had to leave. Couldn't put up with all the 'your baby your choice' and 'didn't do me any harm' comments when people linked to the NHS advice.

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 31/12/2015 18:51

By "weaning" do you mean first introducing solids or completely on solids?

I honestly can't remember but am sure solids were introduced long before 6 months. I would have done whatever Penelope Leach told me too. She was the over-anxious , middle - class mummy's guru of choice then.

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 31/12/2015 18:51

Oh I know I definitely didn't add rusks to a bottle.

Takeparacetamolandstopmoaning · 31/12/2015 18:51

Best things about starting at 6M is leaving out all that puree mush grimness and getting right on with proper food.

That's the thing I will say is that waiting 6M does give you a smallish window to get them
Into different tastes (they're most open to trying different things up to 9 months)

I tried my daughter at 25 weeks. She was going to nursery then and we wanted to prepare for that. She visibly lost her tongue tie about a week later even though she was very good with head control and hand/ eye coordination. It was a real euruka moment, the difference was amazing

Takeparacetamolandstopmoaning · 31/12/2015 18:52

Introducing solids. Using weaning to refer to ending milk feeds is the American way of using it isn't it?

eddiemairswife · 31/12/2015 18:54

When I had my 1st standard advice was to introduce solids at 6 weeks. Three and a half years later with my 3rd it was 6 months. My bible was Dr Spock.

kennyp · 31/12/2015 18:54

i had a half hour of free legal advice from a solicitor which ended up being an hour, AND i used all her tissues (me crying. not her crying)

if i was interested in the half hour free thing i would have asked when i booked the appointment "is it a half hour free"

therapy did work for me, although it doesn't for everyone. profound

bumbleymummy · 31/12/2015 18:57

Take I introduced mashed/puréed food at 6 months. Tbh I think it gave DS1 a better variety of tastes than all the separate finger foods I offered DS2.

Takeparacetamolandstopmoaning · 31/12/2015 18:57

6 weeks?! Shock when was that?!

bumbleymummy · 31/12/2015 18:58

I wonder if the confusion over the word 'weaning' is why so many people think you stop BF at six months when you introduce solids...

eddiemairswife · 31/12/2015 19:05

1962

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 31/12/2015 19:06

In that case I am pretty certain I introduced solids before 6 months.

That would have been on the advice of Penelope Leach and our nanny (proper nanny, college qualifications in child care , knew far more about babies than I did)