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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think he is sneaky

185 replies

Leafitout · 28/12/2015 16:19

Long background but will give the facts. Ds father is only allowed through the courts to have indirect contact only with him. Once a month email contact. I have just seen that ds father has added ds into an Internet group without my knowledge or permission. I'm a bit miffed that ds hasn't mentioned it to me! As sometimes he comes and shows me emails. I found out by chance when using his iPad to look at something. I'm not amused that ds father has done this. As what other sneaky things is he doing to get round the indirect monthly contact! I teach ds about Internet safety and to only have his family and school friends as contacts to keep himself safe.

OP posts:
Original poster
Leafitout · 31/12/2015 15:56

Seen as he wants to label me as such without solid proof. Then I have no choice but to drag his sorry arse into court for defamation of my character!

OP posts:
ImtheChristmasCarcass · 31/12/2015 16:11

I can see the child having to respond as a way to stop an uncooperative parent (not you, Leaf) from discouraging a child from keeping in contact with the other parent. I think in this case it was shit, though, because DS stated on his own that he didn't want contact with his father. I think the judge could or should have ordered the email account set up for the father to email DS, but that any response was up to him.

Leaf I know it's a bugger to have to sit and wait until Monday. Do you think it might be helpful to your solicitor if you sit this weekend and make a timeline of his attempts to coerce your son into breaking the no contact part of the order and things he's written that are undermining or disparaging of you? I know of the one incident about the birthday (IIRC), but I'm sure there are others where he's done similar. If you can make a concise timeline with copies of any emails/texts/screenshots of things it may save valuable time and help your solicitor build your case. I'm sure the solicitor is going to want as much evidence as possible. Also, I know it may be frustrating, but go over the papers you've received and write a line by line rebuttal to any 'accusations' and false statements. Again, this will save time for your solicitor and will help you feel that you are 'doing something' during this enforced waiting time.

This really sucks sweaty balls. I'm so sorry you're having to go through this.

kickassangel · 31/12/2015 16:18

Can your DS's email be something as short as "email received."?

Because it would be possible to set that up as an automatic response to anything from him, so that your DS doesn't even have to actually write anything.

I know that this is only a very small part of the problem, but I'm just thinking about going forward, and how your DS can minimize the contact as that appears to be what he wants.

rumbleinthrjungle · 31/12/2015 16:21

It is horrible for you Leaf, I hope your solicitor can help on Monday, but if he does drag you into court I would hope that it ends with the order you mentioned to prevent him doing this again.

Original poster
Leafitout · 31/12/2015 16:21

Yep I think you are right that I should go through a timeline of incidences. There have been other things going on where his presence has been made by entry to the house whilst I have not been there. But because he's such a sneaky shithead it's hard to prove but all points to him. Hence the police flag on my address! I really do not have the strength, time or desire to have to sit in a court room with this fool!

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 31/12/2015 17:32

Bloody hell, Leaf you poor bugger

This man is seriously scary.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 31/12/2015 17:48

his presence has been made by entry to the house whilst I have not been there

Motion activated CCTV? You can get them incredibly cheaply now ...

kickassangel · 01/01/2016 21:57

You can get them pretty cheap AND they go directly to your phone so you can see who it is. That would be real hard evidence. Make sure you tell your solicitor.

If this ends up in court, can you request to give evidence via a video link?

AcrossthePond55 · 01/01/2016 22:44

OMG, he's been in your house?!?!? That's terrible! I don't even have words……

Here (US) there are Security Experts (usually retired law enforcement) that will go over your home with you to define 'weak points' and suggest remedies. Do they have anything like that there?

Jux · 01/01/2016 23:30

They probably do have special security officers over here, but I don't know. I was going to suggest a webcam or dashcam; they can probably be rigged up to motion sensors. Did you say you had a techie friend? Ask him.

I know those cameras are almost as cheap as chips, though.

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