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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think £30 each is stingy?

262 replies

Lightbulbon · 25/12/2015 19:32

DF came for Xmas dinner.

Brought a card for all of us (no separate cards for dcs) with £150 in it. There are 5 of us so that's £30 each.

He ate our 'naice' food and drank our wine/prosecco and has now left to meet his friends in the pub.

He has an income of at least £2k pcm and has had a massive amount of financial help from us recently.

Aibu to think that £30 each plus a few cheap chocs (think celebrations) is a bit shit?

(Plus he spelt dp's easy to spell name wrong on the card)

Other people's DFs/GPs aren't like this are they?

It just makes me sad tbh.

OP posts:
calzone · 25/12/2015 19:59

You sound lovely........

VaticanAssassin · 25/12/2015 20:00

2/10 OP

I refuse to believe anyone is that grabby, rude and entitled in RL

arethereanyleftatall · 25/12/2015 20:00

To clarify, are you saying you give him £2k per month, every month?

ssd · 25/12/2015 20:00

"Bye he'll spend more than £150 in the pub tonight buying drinks for his 'friends' "

and I hope they appreciate him more than you do, op

BurningBridges · 25/12/2015 20:01

Read the OP! but there was hardly any information in the OP - surely just being a Dad and existing all at the same time doesn't make anyone a great guy, OP is obviously upset about something - maybe as HP above suggests there is a huge backstory? There is so little to go on here, but to most people £150 is a good amount - can't you explain?

echt · 25/12/2015 20:03

As for giving a family Christmas card, not individual ones, yes, it's entirely normal.

Babyroobs · 25/12/2015 20:04

MY DF has a good income/ pension. He gives each of my 4 kids £30 each at Christmas and Birthdays and they are always delighted. I know other grandparents spend a lot more on their grandkids but I thik £30 is perfectly fine.

hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman · 25/12/2015 20:05

I wish I had a parent who would come to my house at any time of the year but I don't because I live in social housing and that means I am not acceptable. YABU.

usual · 25/12/2015 20:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TiredMummy2015 · 25/12/2015 20:06

I wish my Dad were still alive this Christmas. Be grateful for what you have.

PunkrockerGirl · 25/12/2015 20:06

Horrible, just horrible.

I'm still not convinced this is real, but if it is, just shame on you.

TartanBirdFeeder · 25/12/2015 20:07

Yabu and greedy.

3sugarsplease · 25/12/2015 20:07

Wow arnt you a delight Hmm

It's funny how at first you moan about the money.. When everyone mentions your grabby you moan he doesn't care enough and he didn't even get your DC a card

So what is it you crave? His wallet or his attention?

ghostspirit · 25/12/2015 20:08

i dont even buy xmas cards. incase i spell someone name wrong Grin

thebear1 · 25/12/2015 20:09

The only thing I would be bothered about is the misspelled name. There must be a back story here as the rest seems odd to be upset by.

TripeAndGhost · 25/12/2015 20:10

Piss off is this real

goodnightdarthvader1 · 25/12/2015 20:11

My great aunt has misspelt my name my entire life. She seems to have a blind spot on my name.

Seeyounearertime · 25/12/2015 20:11

If you're that bothered OP go donate it to charity and don't spend a penny of it. If you don't want it, let someone have it who'll be grateful.

formerbabe · 25/12/2015 20:11

Brought a card for all of us (no separate cards for dcs)

I don't have a single friend or relative who buys separate Christmas cards for my dc. Does anyone?!

Original poster
Lightbulbon · 25/12/2015 20:11

I know how much he has because I have access to his bank details (from helping him out).

He has plenty, he's not some hard up oap!

This isn't about the money I suppose. He doesn't give a flying f about any of us. Then turns up with an envelope of cash, as if that makes everything ok. But seriously £30 each isn't f all compensation for what we've had to put up with from him. I don't want his money. I wish I had a dad that thought the dcs were worth bothering to actually shop for a gift for, even a gift card is more thoughtful than some notes.

I hate that he thinks he can buy us of. But when that's what he is doing £30 each is fing insulting.

He's done this before and I've said to dp I'd rather burn the money than spend it.

I helped him out when he was in sh**. Don't know why I bothered. He's never done the same for me/the dcs.

I'm just ranting/moaning, sorry. wine & family wounds don't mix

OP posts:
Goingtobeawesome · 25/12/2015 20:12

It's not stingy to me but then maybe you don't appreciate things and have too much money.

Lweji · 25/12/2015 20:12

If a grandparent had given my family any amount of money, I'd just divide it by the kids. I'd imagine that would be 50 each?

Are you in financial difficulties?

How much do you think he should have given you?

Separate cards is surely just a waste of paper. And I don't ever give cards if I visit people.

bettyberry · 25/12/2015 20:13

Entitled much?

Seriously? you think if someone is earning a good amount they should spend it on you?? WOW.

Goingtobeawesome · 25/12/2015 20:13

Since you don't want his money have you given it back to him? Hmm

goodnightdarthvader1 · 25/12/2015 20:14

Sorry, these hints at his terrible behaviour aren't cutting it. I hope you haven't voiced your feelings to your DC.