to not punish DD for hitting her dad?

[livvielunch]

DD is 4 and undergoing assessment for autism. She has a multitude of sensory processing issues and hates physical contact of any sort, particularly affection. She will actually scream and cry if she thinks anyone (I.e. approaching grandparents) may try and hug her. Despite this, DP insists on trying to kiss and hug her. This morning she was playing and he said goodbye to her as he was going out. She blanked him, as is usual. He said can I have a kiss, she flinched and shook her hear violently, turned away from him and continued playing. He leaned round with his lips puckered inches from her face and she slapped him in it. He was angry and stomped off mumbling 'love you too' and later said I should've stepped in and punished DD for her aggression. I said I think he should respect her wishes not to be hounded for affection and that he deserved it, really. Aibu?

'What would happen if you put him in his own bed?'

Well.

1. He wouldn't sleep.
2. If I fell asleep he'd get up and sneak off and let himself out of the front door for a midnight stroll without waking me. Or play with knives.
3. He could have a seizure or stop breathing and I'd be in my own room, blissfully unaware.
4. He would get up after said seizure all wobbly and fall down the stairs.
5. Basically, he could die. He could die or sleep with me. So fuck off

Is usually my response

Not so much anymore. But DS is 9 and I've perfected my 'don't fucking question me' face. When I rang 111 recently about a bad seizure he had hat looked like a stroke, she just instantly assumed he slept with me. Was very refreshing.

Sleep anxiety and panic attacks are horrific. We don't get them anymore, but they were very bad when we had them

Why do people insist on giving unsolicited advice? If someone asked me for advice, or on FB, asked a general question to everyone, I would give it, as someone who works with families of young children with autism and someone with a parent of a boy with complex needs. But if someone was to put up photo of their child doing something that I wouldn't do myself, I wouldn't even consider judging or commenting on it. I don't see how it impacts my life at all. Very odd.

Well, each to their own, but if they don't want to be judged then they shouldn't judge first

Hi all,

We just wanted to post a link to our This Is My Child campaign.

The aim of the campaign is good old-fashioned consciousness-raising about what it's like to be the parent of a child with special needs.
It also aims to debunk unhelpful - and incorrect - assumptions about how children with special needs behave - and suggests how we can all challenge those assumptions to help alleviate the stress this places on parents.

Here's a list of the myths about parenting children with special needs that we're challenging.

We'd be really grateful if anyone unfamiliar with the campaign could take a look at it.

Many thanks.

I remember saying to someone once that they wouldnt go to the parents of a child who is blind and say they need to stop that and start seeing.
While people act like autistic behaviours are a choice made by someone, they will never understand.

So, so true! Even members of my own family still think this and dd is 16!