Was I in the wrong here?

[GlamOn]

DP and I are home today (not because of our virus), and I was just getting some milk out of the microwave when I got a phone call from my Mum, asking me to look after my DSis 7 (who isn't feel well), whilst she and my Dad finish off their Christmas food shop with DSis2 and DB.

Unfortunately, myself and DP really didn't feel up to it and I declined, I said "No, sorry Mum we've both got a throa-"" and she cut off, after saying shouting fine and hanging up.

I rang back a few minutes later because I noticed a missed call from her. Her reply was when I asked why she called "I didn't mean to ring you, I meant to ring nanny". I asked why she hang up on me and her answer was "because I can't find someone to look after Dsis! You have a throat infection but you don't look after her with your throat, do you? All she has to do is sit there for a little while"

AIBU to have declined, even though we're close family? In all honesty, we didn't feel up to it and I'd just rather not. AIBU to say no other explanation than that is required to give my Mum?

She wouldn't treat a friend that way, and I'm her adult daughter who I think deserves a little bit of respect. I wouldn't dream of doing it to anyone, because I don't think it's anyone's responsibility to care for my children.

I have never understood why parents feel the need to take their children food shopping together, never.

Why in hell could one of your parents (probably your dad) not have stayed at home with all the children while your mum did the food shop alone? This would definitely have been my preferred option, any time! And since your little sister is ill, makes the most sense! I hear that your mother has had an op and it is infected, but then she could have stayed at home and sent your Dad shopping with a list, unless he's one of those truly useless men who phone their wives every couple of minutes because they "can't find X" the second they step into a supermarket

YWNBU. If you and your DP are ill, then you are ill. You don't know what you have, you don't know what it could turn into if you passed it onto your little sister, who is already unwell herself - and she, equally, could have added her illness to your woes.
As you said, if you weren't at home, you couldn't have looked after her anyway, so your mum was chancing her arm with asking you in the first place.

I hope it got sorted, but your mum was rude to hang up on you, although I understand she was frustrated, but that's still no excuse.

We went to my parents earlier DS and I, as we were leaving my dad took his Bowles stuff as was off to play and the tesco list for after. I know my wrote it because she showed DS that the chocolate trifle he loves is on there!
It's mostly been this way since I was 16yo and dad retired on health grounds. I do know they went to tesco late on Tuesday together (on way home from pub!) to do main Christmas shop.

For those saying that the DF may not 'be able' to do the shop or that DM may want to do it herself to be sure the right things get bought, that's what cellphones are for. I've sent my DH to the store before for very specific items I've needed. He's perfectly capable of doing the shopping on a regular basis but when you're doing a 'special meal' there are things used that aren't everyday items or only specific brands will do. So I've sent him with pictures of the item on his phone and/or he's called me from the shop and sent me pictures to 'be sure'.

But I do think that OP could have watched her sister. I think every parent has been ill and looked after their own child, I know I have, and I'd certainly do it for my DM. Drop the child off with a Happy Meal to eat and pop them in front of the telly with stern words to behave.

I'm assuming the OP doesn't have children (too lazy to read back over the thread). If she's planning them, she'll have a rude awakening when she realizes that they become ill at the most inconvenient times! And she better hope her mother doesn't remember this incident!

Do you have children? I'm guessing you don't.

Let's hope the OP never needs urgent ad hoc childcare from her mom, if and when she does have offspring. Especially after an operation and infection, in the middle of a holiday prep week.

Or maybe the dad who is not a leper or have a sore throat could possibly do the shopping?

OP has said her dad is in his 80s and absent minded!

sent your Dad shopping with a list, unless he's one of those truly useless men who phone their wives every couple of minutes because they "can't find X" the second they step into a supermarket

He apparently is in his 80s and absent minded if you read the OPs posts instead of giving sweeping generalisations.

Well, it's nice to see the Christmas spirit is alive and well.

I don't see why the OP couldn't have gone a wee bit out of her way to help.

OP has said her dad is in his 80s and absent minded!

I bloody said mine is. And he does the bloody shopping too.
FFS!

THE OP HAS NOT SAID HOW OLD HER DAD IS.

Are people drinking already?

One advantage of having the OP's posts highlighted is so that I can read all of those in a longish thread and not get confused by other people's posts.

So yes, I have read all the OP's posts and at no point does she mention her father's age or capability.

mintoil stop trying to turn this into something it isn't.

OP was asked to do a favour and she refused.

Do you usually bang on about the menz doing stuff before you will help someone out? That must be rather tiring.

Perhaps your back is sore from the weight of the massive chip you're carrying around on your shoulders.

I'll have a snowball please Lweji. Perhaps your dad can mix it

He's probably battling other shoppers for the last bag of sprouts Bitoutofpractice. Like the OP's mum.

He's not a drinker.
But you can have a choice of vodka, rum, Brazilian cachaça, aguardente, white Port or Moscatel. I don't do gin. (Never tried it, and I wonder if I should)

Oh you should. Nice G&T after a hard day

I've never tried white port so I'll have one of those please

Although I am in charge of other people's children as a favour to a friend so make it a small one

I need a drink after Sainsbury's this morning. Poor dd had an anxiety attack.

Right, bugger it, I'm going to have a sherry and finish icing the Christmas cake.

I can't drink gin :(
I've tried but it has a very nasty effect on me, like I imagine speed would - I get very hyper then can't sleep. (Never had speed though so could be wrong).
Can't drink tequila either, wipes my memory.

White port? Not tried that. I like a nice ruby, myself, hard to get in the land of Oz, where tawny is the preferred option.

White Port is really nice. And less sweet.
I'm very slowly recovering from a bad cold, so thinking of offloading ds to a relative, but he'd rather stay home. Grr.
I'm thinking lemon juice with vodka.
Or just join you with the small Port.

Op should have said yes at first but Mum should not have reacted like that.

When Op first said no, Mum should have explained the situation, then Op should have said yes.

Bit surprised at replies on here.

Expected to help?

But of course! You are family.

Im not English but come from culture where op's response would be shockingly rude!

YABU - you only have a sore throat. your mum is probably really stressed given her condition and doesn't want to drag a child round the shops knowing they were going to be busy.

Your dad is 80 and they have a 7 year old?

*curious