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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my neighbour should be a bit more tolerant to my dog?

253 replies

MaryPoppinsPenguins · 22/12/2015 12:43

At face value, I am being unreasonable. My dog barking is bothering her so she has complained.. (Loudly and rudely.)

And it is true, my dog has a problem with barking when I go out, I've written about it on here before and there's no getting away from the fact that it is a huge issue.

But I am aware of it, and how awful it must be to listen to through a wall, so we very rarely leave him, and if we do, we usually drop him off somewhere or have someone come here.

An unavoidable time is the school run, which takes 15 minutes at 8.45, and I put down his breakfast and shut him in the laundry room on the other side of the house when I do that. I've stopped accepting play dates, I don't go out for days, I'm a stay at home mum and he doesn't bark while I'm here.

Last night my DH and I took out oldest daughter to the theatre, and my mum was looking after my youngest so all should've been fine, except she had an emergency and had to leave and take my daughter with her so he was barking from about 9.30 until 11. (It's not constant barking, it's if someone slams a car door etc nearby.) I know this because my friend who lives opposite walked by during this time and said it was silent.

So at 9am today my neighbour knocked on the door and went crazy at me (so much so I was in tears) about my dog. That I need to get rid of him and how terrible an owner I am because he barked at 11 and her husband could hear it.

I'm trying everything. Doggy day care has him on a waiting list, I've bought a crate, a citronella collar, we've been to dog school, walked him more... He has separation anxiety so we try as much as possible to not leave him and very rarely (like last night) this will fall apart... But I don't think one evening (which was a one off as we are usually home) isn't just cause to act the way she did?

They had building work for over a week when I had a newborn and I didn't complain. They had a party which was very loud that they didn't apologise for, and they play piano against my living room wall.... But I have never complained because that's life in a semi detached house.

AIBU? (Dons hard hat!)

OP posts:
Original poster
MaryPoppinsPenguins · 22/12/2015 21:48

VenusRising - I am currently in the process of moving, we're just waiting for an exchange date. If you had read my posts you would know that...

Mediation? Jesus Hmm

No one advised me to get a citronella collar, it was just something that came up on google.

I haven't ignored this, I'm taking every measure to fix it. It would be really easy to say screw them, we're moving, but I know the problem will move with us so I want to fix it. I'm having a terrible day with my 2 year old as she's ill but tomorrow I'm going to look into lots of the great advice (some) posters have suggested and PM some people.

I'm not going to rehome my dog.. (And I'm certainly not going to soundproof my neighbours house!)

Not once have I said it's not an issue or minimised the fact that barking is annoying... I think some people just read what they want to read.

OP posts:
Original poster
MaryPoppinsPenguins · 22/12/2015 21:52

Just to be a bit realistic for a second... It's barking while I'm on a very short school run in the morning... I live maybe 300m from my DD's school on the same street. (And during that time I put him three walks away in the laundry room with food as a distraction!), the rest of the time I try my upmost to make sure he is never left alone. I'm pretty sure that doesn't make me the devil some of you are making me out to be. Last night was a one off, it is very very rare that we even go out in the evening, let alone leave our dog here so late.

OP posts:
Kikigetty · 22/12/2015 21:59

Tell them they can swap with me for a week, then they'll never complain about your dog again and will have the sound of my neighbours dog echoing in their minds for monthsGrin

tbtc20 · 22/12/2015 22:00

Every morning my neighbour's daughter, her friend and their dogs walk to my neighbour's door where treats have been left in the letter box.

The dogs know, they bark - maybe for about 30 seconds. If I'm not already awake (cos it's the w/e) they wake me up. Every. Single. Time.

I cannot imagine it for 15 mins a day.

itsmine · 22/12/2015 22:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sunbeam1112 · 22/12/2015 22:25

I bet your neighbours can't wait for you to move. You have no understand how bad a barking dog if you can't train it properly. Get rid. We grow up with dogs they didn't bark unless a knock at a door( they were trained to). i think your attitude is so selfish and you are standing your ground and putting the dog before your own child. We suffer the noise of a dog regularly and disturbs my daughters nap time not to meantion a chance of a sleep in. I feel sorry for the new neighbours.

Original poster
MaryPoppinsPenguins · 22/12/2015 22:32

As I previously said!!!!! It's a new problem...

But don't let facts stand in your way Confused

OP posts:
Sunbeam1112 · 22/12/2015 22:35

If i was your neighbour and you didn't resolve the issue. I would be contacting my local envirnomental health dept who will give you a warning. I did that to my neighbour and they would be issued with afine.if reported again.

Original poster
MaryPoppinsPenguins · 22/12/2015 22:35

Good for you.

OP posts:
thelouise · 22/12/2015 22:36

Has something happened that has triggered the anxiety in doggy? Any changes in your house or life?

Really tough situation btw. :(

Original poster
MaryPoppinsPenguins · 22/12/2015 22:36

You would report to environmental health for barking three walls away for 15 minutes 5 days a week? As if.

OP posts:
Original poster
MaryPoppinsPenguins · 22/12/2015 22:38

thelouise - yes, my DD has begun to go to school, so our lives are much more structured and he's learned that we leave the house every morning and gets more and more anxious as we're getting ready. He starts to do a half bark as I put DD's coat on...

OP posts:
Sunbeam1112 · 22/12/2015 22:41

Your dog barking at 11pm is unacceptable. Its a bloody nuisance and needs to be dealt with. She spoken to you and your attitude about it as if its nothing as if constant barking is ok, its not. So yes it does. The fact you can't leave it and barks is a joke.

amarmai · 22/12/2015 22:57

can dogs still bark if they have a muzzle on ?

Figmentofmyimagination · 22/12/2015 23:01

Sunbeam I'm not sure Mary should be taking advice from someone who thinks it is a good idea to actively train your dog to bark only when someone knocks on the door. Presumably your dogs barked at people who knocked at your door, whether or not you were at home. Thoroughly anti-social. Surprised you didn't get your own environmental health warning - glass houses etc

Sunbeam1112 · 22/12/2015 23:10

Figment These were trained guide dogs/hearing dogs to alert the owner of someone being at the door. Not excessive barking due to be left on their own big difference!

MaryPoppinsPenguins · 22/12/2015 23:11

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Sunbeam1112 · 22/12/2015 23:18

People have told you opinions on excessive barkig even for 15 intervels or late on a evening and you won't listen. If anyones being a dick its you.' You stated that you would be prepared to row with your neighbour rather than solve the problem.

MaryPoppinsPenguins · 22/12/2015 23:42

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

CheerfulYank · 23/12/2015 00:10

The bArk collar I used was not cruel. It was a vibration, not a shock. (Yes I did test it on myself!) he was used to his mother nipping his neck sharply as a correction and it certainly hurt less than that. And it's decidedly less than cruel than having to rehome a dog who loves his family, or never being able to leave the house.

With him it was not nervous barking though, and that may make a difference.

Daisychain5 · 23/12/2015 00:11

Nothing worse than a barking dog day after day. I don't blame your poor neighbour.

KiwiJude · 23/12/2015 01:36

Crikey people - what happened to reading for comprehension, or even reading the OP's posts? There's some serious seasonal stress in here, tis the season and all that jazz... Xmas Grin

KakiFruit · 23/12/2015 07:40

There's so much projection going on in this thread it's unreal. If someone can't cope with hearing an animal bark for 15 minutes a day, they have serious issues and it's up to them to find a coping mechanism or move to the middle of nowhere and hear foxes yapping instead. The OP is perfectly reasonable, her neighbour is not.

AnthonyBlanche · 23/12/2015 08:18

That's funny Kaki! Luckily most people don't agree with you. If they did, you would be able to hear the sound of dogs barking from space.

Sunbeam1112 · 23/12/2015 08:34

Mary your attitude is disgraceful calling people thick because they disagree with you? Get a grip! What are you a child! I read through people suggestions. But you made your decision. You just don't get it. The noise is a nuiscance. Its affecting your neighbours life and ruling yours!