To think my neighbour should be a bit more tolerant to my dog?

[MaryPoppinsPenguins]

At face value, I am being unreasonable. My dog barking is bothering her so she has complained.. (Loudly and rudely.)

And it is true, my dog has a problem with barking when I go out, I've written about it on here before and there's no getting away from the fact that it is a huge issue.

But I am aware of it, and how awful it must be to listen to through a wall, so we very rarely leave him, and if we do, we usually drop him off somewhere or have someone come here.

An unavoidable time is the school run, which takes 15 minutes at 8.45, and I put down his breakfast and shut him in the laundry room on the other side of the house when I do that. I've stopped accepting play dates, I don't go out for days, I'm a stay at home mum and he doesn't bark while I'm here.

Last night my DH and I took out oldest daughter to the theatre, and my mum was looking after my youngest so all should've been fine, except she had an emergency and had to leave and take my daughter with her so he was barking from about 9.30 until 11. (It's not constant barking, it's if someone slams a car door etc nearby.) I know this because my friend who lives opposite walked by during this time and said it was silent.

So at 9am today my neighbour knocked on the door and went crazy at me (so much so I was in tears) about my dog. That I need to get rid of him and how terrible an owner I am because he barked at 11 and her husband could hear it.

I'm trying everything. Doggy day care has him on a waiting list, I've bought a crate, a citronella collar, we've been to dog school, walked him more... He has separation anxiety so we try as much as possible to not leave him and very rarely (like last night) this will fall apart... But I don't think one evening (which was a one off as we are usually home) isn't just cause to act the way she did?

They had building work for over a week when I had a newborn and I didn't complain. They had a party which was very loud that they didn't apologise for, and they play piano against my living room wall.... But I have never complained because that's life in a semi detached house.

AIBU? (Dons hard hat!)

the thing about noise is that has an odd psychological effect on people. if the dog barks at a regular time of day, people start to almost listen out for it. they become a bit anxious just before the barking starts. they look at the clock "oh its 7am that bloody dog will be starting in 15 minutes" they wait for the door to slam they have the anticipation all of which makes it very stressful.

OP - I didn't say de-barking a dog was pleasant and agreed it was horrific but for some it is the only last resort save rehoming or having the dog put down.

Right, I'm having one more go at the school run situation. If it's a short journey can you put the littlest one in a backpack and tie the dog up at the railings, or wherever other dog owners leave their dogs?

That would give you two hands free for holding DD's hand and the lead.

If the trigger is your DD leaving then work on that. Pick up your DD's coat, give the dog a treat, put the coat away - repeat loads of times through-out the day. Gradually work up to walking out the door with DD, then straight back in. Don't make the exercise always progressively more difficult, occasionally drop back to easier behaviours.

Many dogs have to be trained to wear a muzzle. At first just let the dog sniff it, give him a treat, as above work gradually towards the target behaviour over as long a period of time as necessary. A muzzle may or may not stop the barking, I don't know, but it won't relieve that dog's stress which may then show itself in other ip unwanted behaviours so it's not something I would recommend,