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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my neighbour should be a bit more tolerant to my dog?

253 replies

MaryPoppinsPenguins · 22/12/2015 12:43

At face value, I am being unreasonable. My dog barking is bothering her so she has complained.. (Loudly and rudely.)

And it is true, my dog has a problem with barking when I go out, I've written about it on here before and there's no getting away from the fact that it is a huge issue.

But I am aware of it, and how awful it must be to listen to through a wall, so we very rarely leave him, and if we do, we usually drop him off somewhere or have someone come here.

An unavoidable time is the school run, which takes 15 minutes at 8.45, and I put down his breakfast and shut him in the laundry room on the other side of the house when I do that. I've stopped accepting play dates, I don't go out for days, I'm a stay at home mum and he doesn't bark while I'm here.

Last night my DH and I took out oldest daughter to the theatre, and my mum was looking after my youngest so all should've been fine, except she had an emergency and had to leave and take my daughter with her so he was barking from about 9.30 until 11. (It's not constant barking, it's if someone slams a car door etc nearby.) I know this because my friend who lives opposite walked by during this time and said it was silent.

So at 9am today my neighbour knocked on the door and went crazy at me (so much so I was in tears) about my dog. That I need to get rid of him and how terrible an owner I am because he barked at 11 and her husband could hear it.

I'm trying everything. Doggy day care has him on a waiting list, I've bought a crate, a citronella collar, we've been to dog school, walked him more... He has separation anxiety so we try as much as possible to not leave him and very rarely (like last night) this will fall apart... But I don't think one evening (which was a one off as we are usually home) isn't just cause to act the way she did?

They had building work for over a week when I had a newborn and I didn't complain. They had a party which was very loud that they didn't apologise for, and they play piano against my living room wall.... But I have never complained because that's life in a semi detached house.

AIBU? (Dons hard hat!)

OP posts:
LotsOfShoes · 22/12/2015 16:01

YABVU a dog barking at 8.45 every single day? and then at 11pm too bc you went to the theatre? A dog barking constantly and early in the day does not compare to piano playing or ONE party. Not in the slightest. Your efforts or sacrifices are of no concern of your neighbour's. You are being very anti-social and your neighbour is right to be pissed off. Do something about it now. And yes, that includes considering the possibility of re-homing him.

PenelopePitstops · 22/12/2015 16:06

I think YABU. Living next door to barking dogs, even for 15 mins, is horrible. Your dog shouldn't be dictating your social life either. And as for missing speech therapy words fail me. I hope you are paying for it and didn't cancel an NHS appointment.

You need to sort your dog ASAP. I can see you are trying, how long has it been like this for your neighbours?

Original poster
MaryPoppinsPenguins · 22/12/2015 16:09

Okay Penelope.. As you so easily say I should 'sort my dog ASAP'

What exactly do you suggest I do?

OP posts:
chocadd1ct · 22/12/2015 16:10

I think yabvvvu, OP.

Your dog is barking every morning for 15 mins and other times regularly on top. I do not own a dog and I find dog barking very annoying and hard to tolerate. You obviously have been trying to solve this problem for a long time and it is not working. But I don't think it is reasonable to expect your neighbour to suck it up that you cannot control your dog's barking esp as it seems it has been going on for a while. I would be barking mad if I were your neighbour.

SkodaLabia · 22/12/2015 16:10

Could you look again at the school run? Would it work to attach the lead to the pushchair so you can still push it and hold DD's hand?

Of course then you'll fall foul of the 'dogs on the school run' threads. Grin

Original poster
MaryPoppinsPenguins · 22/12/2015 16:13

The other issue with the school run though is that I have to go right in the playground with my DD as she's only just 5 and started reception this year, and I can't take the dog in.. (Which I totally get.) I'm trying to find a dog walker who can do that time of day maybe?

OP posts:
PenelopePitstops · 22/12/2015 16:16

I'm not the one pissing my neighbours off with a barking dog.
How long have you had to sort it?

LeaLeander · 22/12/2015 16:16

As your daughter grows older can she walk in with some friends or another parent? I realize it's not ideal but better than having the dog put to sleep or other drastic option.

Is the dog young? Any chance he'll mellow?

OnlyLovers · 22/12/2015 16:17

Can you tie the dog up outside the playground? (sorry, you almost certainly can't or you'd have just been taking him with you already, but I feel I should ask...!)

Dog walker to coincide with when you're out is not a bad idea, but it doesn't address the bigger issue of unplanned/emergency absences like the one in your OP.

OnlyLovers · 22/12/2015 16:17

Lea, the OP says he's 9.

Original poster
MaryPoppinsPenguins · 22/12/2015 16:18

Lea - he's 9 now! An old boy practically :)

And I would never have him pts. I'd rather have a row with my neighbour everyday!

OP posts:
OpenDoorAsshole · 22/12/2015 16:18

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

SkodaLabia · 22/12/2015 16:18

At our school lots of people go into the playground and leave their dogs tied to the fence. Would that work for you? Just wonder whether that may also help him learn a bit of independence, he'd be separated from you just for a couple of minutes and there would be other distractions around.

Original poster
MaryPoppinsPenguins · 22/12/2015 16:20

OpendoorAsshole Indeed...

OP posts:
OpenDoorAsshole · 22/12/2015 16:20

I rest my case. Thank you.

Original poster
MaryPoppinsPenguins · 22/12/2015 16:21

Seriously? Read your aggressive post back?

OP posts:
OpenDoorAsshole · 22/12/2015 16:23

Now imagine how aggressive your dog sounds to your neighbour....

Pot, meet kettle....

chocadd1ct · 22/12/2015 16:23

I get that you are attached to youe dog but saying you rather have a row with the neighbour every day is very unreasonable. Why should your neighbour suffer from your dog's barking. It was your decision to get a dig, not theirs.
Is moving to a more rural area an option?

KakiFruit · 22/12/2015 16:23

Barking for 15 minutes a day is destroying someone's life? Some people really have no perspective. Grin

WoeBetidings · 22/12/2015 16:24

Can you ask around other neighbours?

A young woman in our street made everyone's lives hell with her dog. She would leave him for days and he would howl constantly. I live opposite her and it kept me awake so god only knows how her neighbours coped. RSPCA were crap, as always.

Long story short the council became involved. When they spoke to my NDN, he told them he'd put a note through the door offering to care for the dog when she went out. Turns out the dog had ate the note and this lady was non the wiser. The council informed her of my NDN's offer. Dog now lives with NDN p/t, no barking and everyone is happy.

You might have a friendly neighbor who wants a dog but cannot commit full time. It's worth a try. My NDN is an elderly gentleman who'd had dogs all his life but could no longer afford one. He is overjoyed at having a dog back in his life to care for.

LeaLeander · 22/12/2015 16:25

I would try tying him to the fence if it's just a for a few minutes.

Also I am sure it would be tough amid a busy schedule but is there any way to wear him out early in the morning - take him for a run or something? Would he be less inclined to bark if he were tired enough to nap?

itsmine · 22/12/2015 16:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
MaryPoppinsPenguins · 22/12/2015 16:26

OpendoorAsshole are you having a bad day?? He's not aggressive, what are you trying to imply? That my neighbours are cowering in terror thinking he'll bust through the wall? Hmm

Maybe a bit of reading and a bit of thinking in the future before posting? A lot of people here have disagreed with me, that's life, but your post has no thought or fact behind it and just reeks of a severe lack of intelligence.

OP posts:
Original poster
MaryPoppinsPenguins · 22/12/2015 16:29

Woe - I don't want to give my dog away. We love him, I just need to fix this problem.., (which I believe my neighbours have blown out of proportion)

OP posts:
itsmine · 22/12/2015 16:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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