AIBU do think 12 is too young for lace underthings.

[Tiptoethroughthetinsel]

My daughter went shopping with my ex husband fiancé today and came home with several lace bra and panty sets. I've put them aside. She is developed for 12 but I think cotton is more appropriate. At what age should this be allowed?

She has gorgeous skin. I would have thought a bit of mascara and some lip gloss would have been plenty. I totally agree Goodnightdarthvader1

She also wouldn't let me shave my legs so I borrowed my Dad's non safety razor and shaved them using a bar of bloody soap - OUCH!

Well, that's crazy, but being reasonable in compromises on what a pre-teen can wear regarding underwear, make up and "grown up" clothes isn't so crazy. I'm personally not advocating banning it all together, but baby steps!

She has shaven her legs which I was ok with. I'm not trying to keep her a baby.

Worra that sounds painful!

I had a boyfriend at 15 my dad hated. He constantly went on about what an idiot he was and tried to take my phone etc. as a result we dated for 2 years! Had he left us alone I'd have got sick of him.

Pick your battles indeed

Yeah but it's knickers and a bra goodnightdarthvader

The fact they have lace on them, isn't going to turn her into some sort of 'brazen hussy' overnight

I'm actually looking forward to my DD being a teen (yes, I'll regret saying that in 13 years) and dressing up pretty and cute (assuming she wants to). But there's too much too young nowadays. Too many shit role models Kardashians I'm looking at you

When I was 13-14, I had and loved a lacy camisole and french knicker set from M&S. The knickers definitely had a cotton gusset.

I don't have children, so can only go on when I was young - things may have changed. I don't think you have to be someone's mother to buy them underwear, I remember receiving some (age appropriate) from relatives for Christmas, but I'm shocked at the choice of lace and shocked that nobody else is shocked.

The fact they have lace on them, isn't going to turn her into some sort of 'brazen hussy' overnight

Nobody said it would, Worra. But if she wants them to impress a boy who said "I bet you'd look well fit in lacy underwear", that's whole different kettle of fish, isn't it? No harm in having a conversation about it to delve a bit deeper.

And for pre-teen girls, their motivations and thought processes are NOT rooted in what's best for them as growing young women, it's on what's "cool". They don;t look at this this stuff through the same measured frame of reference that we as adult feminist women well, some of us do.

Why assume it's because a boy has said she'd look good in lace?

If she wants to date a boy banning lace underwear won't stop her

www.marksandspencer.com/lucy-lace-set-with-padded-underwired-balcony-a-e/p/ds4d3e943ba401f73f9a43b7c4b4bb383e For context I found one of the sets

If the OP thinks her 12 year old daughter is going to take her clothes off to impress a boy, lace is the least of her worries?!?!

I think some people are making a massive jump from 'pretty lace' undies, to 'sexy lace' undies.

The future step mum didn't take her to an Anne Summers party!

I don't think it's trashy, I wouldn't mind it myself just seems very grown up in my opinion

OP that's just normal "grown up" underwear. I remember having similar when I was 14, I had no boobs before then. If I had have done id have worn it earlier.

I don't think there's a problem

Why assume it's because a boy has said she'd look good in lace?

FFS, I'm not assuming it is! But I'm also not assuming it's not! That's what a good parent does, IMO, looks at all the possible angles to help their child navigate the world safely.

And there's a HUGE difference between just dating a boy and trying to impress a boy who is pushing her sexually. Again, just looking at all the options. Or is that too "uncool" for a mum to do?

Could be worse... She could wear no undies.

At 12 if she wants to impresse a boy she can do that in many ways regardless of her undies.

I'm not worried about boys. I don't think that's where her interest lie.

But surely if you thought anyone was pushing her sexually, you wouldn't be pissing about worrying about a bit of lace on her underwear?

You would have much bigger problems.

It just seems a bit...I don't know, peculiar that that's your train of thought. Almost as if you're looking for a reason to dislike the underwear

Blimey OP, that seems a bit much to me for a 12 yo. Mesh sides too?

I'm a feminist and - shock horror - wear lace underwear

Don't be goady. I'm not saying lace underwear is the work of the devil. I'm also a feminist and have lacy underwear. But I'm not a 12 year old girl.

I don't wear thongs, though. Butt germs.

I'm not worried about anyone pushing her sexually.
Why would I be looking for reasons? I'm not at all confrontational.