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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think blocking and deleting me is stupid

187 replies

trafficlightschanging · 18/12/2015 15:38

An old friend has deleted me and blocked me from Facebook!

Context is - she changed her profile picture and I commented it reminded me of a time at university. Went to message her later and she'd gone! I logged in as my sister and she's still on Facebook but I've been removed as a friend and blocked.

I've asked her and she says I'm always going on about university and she finds it embarrassing?

OP posts:
ColdWhiteWinePlease · 18/12/2015 15:40

Bloody hell! I'd say you're well rid, who on earth would be so rude!

SecretRed · 18/12/2015 15:40

She's obviously irritated by the university thing. It's a bit ott to block you though.

goodnightdarthvader1 · 18/12/2015 15:41

Er, weirdo. You're well rid!

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 18/12/2015 15:45

Has she mentioned not talking about university before?

I'm guessing that it must be a sore point for her for some reason, or she doesn't want someone on her Facebook (colleagues, partner, boss?) to know about those times.

It does sound extreme to suddenly block you, but if she's mentioned before that she'd rather you didn't comment about uni and you've done it again, perhaps she feels that the only way to stop you is to block you. You can't block friends, so she'd have to unfriend you too.

Does she consider herself a good friend? Is she friendly and responsive when you keep in touch in other ways, and you just don't gel on Facebook, or is she perhaps less invested in this than you?

Bailey101 · 18/12/2015 15:47

It depends what it reminded you of - if you said 'that picture reminds me of our graduation ball' then she was overreacting. If you said something like 'that reminds me of when you got shit faced and peed all over yourself at our graduation ball' then she's probably justified in blocking you, especially if previous mentions of uni have been along the same lines.

NaughtToThreeSadOnions · 18/12/2015 15:50

Maybe uni wasn't as happy time for her as it was you.
I'm guessing you know her from university. If not maybe your oh this happened at university is not something she can relate too. I get slightly fed up of my friend going on and on about people I've never met or events I wasnt at because I can't relate to it.

That said has she menrioned before that she finds the references to university annoying. Because it is unreasonable not to explain why you've upset her.

Gruntfuttock · 18/12/2015 15:55

Did you know your friend at university or did she not go to university and you keep mentioning that you did?

WhoTheFuckIsSimon · 18/12/2015 16:02

Does seem a bit extreme.

gamerchick · 18/12/2015 16:04

DO you bring up university a lot?

SoWhite · 18/12/2015 16:10

Sounds like uni wasn't a great time for her and she'd rather forget it.

Hatethis22 · 18/12/2015 16:14

If you're posting about boyfriends from that time or excessive drinking then I can understand her reaction.

OddSocksHighHeels · 18/12/2015 16:14

Has she mentioned the uni thing before? It sounds like an OTT reaction on the face of it but there must be something underlying it for her to react like that.

Original poster
trafficlightschanging · 18/12/2015 16:31

Thank you, I think it was extreme too.

Basically, when we graduated in 2002 she moved away and I stayed in our university town so I still see a lot of the people we both knew. She said she felt I still saw her as the person she had been then and she's moved on from that and she feels I haven't.

OP posts:
SoWhite · 18/12/2015 16:34

She said she felt I still saw her as the person she had been then and she's moved on from that and she feels I haven't.

To be fair to her, still banging on about university nearly 15 years later isn't moving on, if indeed to you do bang.

I have a friend like that, who posts updates/articles about our favourite nightclub from uni on my wall. I'm old enough to be a grandmother, have a very serious job and can't relate to the person I used to be. She's exactly the same as she was at 20.

I just humour her though, because she's a nice, kind person.

captainproton · 18/12/2015 16:43

There are a couple of people I went to uni with who IMO haven't moved on. I posted some pictures of my kids gingerbread efforts on FB yesterday mainly for benefit of long distance grandparents and relatives. One of my uni mates took the piss in the comments.

Seriously considering dropping her as a FB friend, our lives are nothing a like it's all crude updates and pissed up banter along with proud updates of getting so trashed you threw up everywhere etc.

13 years is a long time and people change I don't think she needs permission to defriend does she?

Gruntfuttock · 18/12/2015 16:45

Oh, now I understand your friend's point of view.

AwfulBeryl · 18/12/2015 16:50

It depends really doesn't it, on one hand you could have made a fly away comment about a shared experience - completely normal and your friend over reacted.
Or on the other hand you're constantly posting "This one time at band camp" posts and not really connecting in any way or form with her present life, in which case it would not be unreasonable to un friend you, blocking is a bit extreme though. I only usually do that for people who I want absolutely no contact with at all, rather than someone I have drifted away from.

imwithspud · 18/12/2015 16:51

Seems a bit drastic, she could have just deleted the comment and messaged you to explain why or something.

DonkeyOaty · 18/12/2015 16:52

Logging on as your sister is weird and a bit stalkery.

You've obviously hacked her off with harkings-back to your Uni days.

MontyYouTerribleCunt · 18/12/2015 16:52

I can see where she's coming from actually. I have a friend who is a bit like this. It's annoying as he acts like we are still flat mates or something when we are both married with DC now... I humour him and it's no issue as we don't see each other very often, but I don't like it very much. Also I'm not his friend on fb and probably won't be if I can avoid it. It would annoy me if he wrote loads about uni all over my fb page.

Why are you bothered she's deleted you? Are you quite close still or not so much? If it's the latter, why worry?

MontyYouTerribleCunt · 18/12/2015 16:54

Sorry - to clarify - you might be nothing like my friend in which case her reaction is odd. If you are like him I get where she's coming from a bit.

Aeroflotgirl · 18/12/2015 16:56

Seems very extreme and rude.

Original poster
trafficlightschanging · 18/12/2015 17:01

I wouldn't say we are close but I've kept in touch with her over the years,

She got a bit impatient with me a couple of years ago mentioned (on Facebook) she had accidentally smashed her iPhone and was looking to upgrade and I posted a message that was meant to be jovial about how she was quite famous for breaking phone at uni and she was quite snappy in her response, saying that she last broke a phone in 2002 - I didn't mean anything by it.

Then when I was saying what some people on our course were up to she said 'look, I don't know who these people are,'

Maybe it's just more recent to me as I live there but I'm sad by it (and I wasn't stalking her, I just didn't know if her Facebook had been deleted or not.)

OP posts:
WhoTheFuckIsSimon · 18/12/2015 17:03

She could just have unfollowed you, it would have been politer.

I'm guessing you haven't kept the friendship up to date?? Must admit I'm not friends with any old uni friends on FB.....have nothing in common with them.

MrsJorahMormont · 18/12/2015 17:09

She's obviously quite sensitive about uni, in the way some people are about their time at school. If she did silly things there OR if people harped on about the trivial things she did I can understand why she might not remember it as fondly. Maybe she wants to show that she has moved on, has her life more 'together'?

Either way, it doesn't matter. It sounds like uni is the only thing you had in common. Just let her go gracefully. She sounds a bit petty.