To think blocking and deleting me is stupid

[trafficlightschanging]

An old friend has deleted me and blocked me from Facebook!

Context is - she changed her profile picture and I commented it reminded me of a time at university. Went to message her later and she'd gone! I logged in as my sister and she's still on Facebook but I've been removed as a friend and blocked.

I've asked her and she says I'm always going on about university and she finds it embarrassing?

I do think there's some truth in what Redsky says, whether it's social conditioning or something else. I do have some close female friends and they tend not to be over-sensitive. But I've chosen to be friends with them and I probably steer clear of women like the OP's friend - who does sound a bit prissy and sensitive tbh. Though there are exceptions, on the whole I too enjoy male company more and have found that if men have a problem they tend to be quite direct about it and once it's said, it's over with - no harping back to it, no repercussions, it's finished. Women can over analyse situations and dwell on things longer.

I agree that a bit of nostalgia is quite enjoyable, but likewise there are people who are stuck in the past and can't move on. Tbh both the OP and her friend sound like this, despite the friend's insistence that she is happy and is a 'different person' now. She clearly hasn't forgotten who she used to be, and it colours her interactions still, whereas the op doesn't acknowledge who she is now.

Op, it's run its course as friendships sometimes do. I would say something like "it's a shame you didn't feel able to explain this to me directly but I accept the points you make and likewise wish you well". Dwelling on it is unlikely to throw much more light on the situation and prevents you from properly moving on.

I actually can't imagine a similar spat between blokes.

Bloke A: This reminds me of the time when we both played truant from school and went into town to buy vodka and couldn't get served

Bloke B: I have moved on from that now and am happily married with children.

Nope - wouldn't happen.

More likely (with the lads I know)

Bloke A: This reminds me of the time when we both played truant from school and went into town to buy vodka and couldn't get served

Bloke B: Aye - and you ya bollox ya got yer date of birth wrong!

Bloke A: Well you only had bum fluff for a moustache so we couldn't send you in!

Bloke B: Saves on the razor blades these days!

hahahahahhahahahaha etc.....

I can see both sides. You must have been shocked and hurt to be blocked, particularly since you didn't realise there was a problem, but it does sound like you were inadvertently upsetting her by bringing up uni. No offence but you do seem a bit focused on the past. I would never remember over a decade later if someone had broken their phone or accidentally dyed their top. It sounds like it seems much more recent to you since you are still in the same city and work at the uni you used to attend together but she sees uni as a part of her past she has left far behind and doesn't want to be reminded of. This leaves the two of you without much common ground. You like to reminisce about uni and she hates to be reminded of it. Maybe she felt that you weren't taking enough interest in her life now? You did say upthread that it's tough if she doesn't want you to mention uni since that's what you've got in common. If you feel that all you have in common with her is uni memories she doesn't want to talk about then maybe the friendship has run it's course. Sometimes people change and friendships fade over time. It doesn't make either of you the 'bad guy' you're just different.

You must have been shocked and hurt to be blocked
Really?
This was just bloody Facebook.
It's not as if she cut you dead in the street.

Sally FB is a online social network - blocking someone is the equivalent of ignoring you in the street, the message is the same!

EvaBING I'd say the film The Worlds End is a perfect example of blokes also having to deal with "that friend".

Thank you Laguna I do know what FB is.

It's the source of much upset, offence and resentment - as evidenced by being by far the biggest single subject on AIBU.
Anyone who uses it should be prepared accordingly.

I treat facebook as though it's real life - i know everyone I am friends with and wouldn't say anything on their I wouldn't say in real life. I have tried to use Facebook to genuinely keep in touch with some uni friends- messages and following the major events of their life.

I had a little boy 18 months ago and got not one message/comment or like. But they will cheerfully tag me in old photos of me shit faced and make some sarcastic comment about what a piss head I am.

I deleted the lot of them when I realised I was trying to be friends with them today- they want to be friends with the 20 year old me. I don't dislike them or hate them- I just want to invest my time in meaningful friend ships. I think the friend in your OP is much the same.

It wasn't intended to imply you didn't know what FB is - just to answer your sarcastic "really" and "only bloody FB" reply to the thought of anyone possibly being upset that someone has blocked them.

"She said she felt I still saw her as the person she had been then and she's moved on from that and she feels I haven't."

by this comment uni wasnt a good time for her, maybe she was bullied or something and you didnt know?

just read what she posted to you, i knew it.

Sallyingforth I was just empathising with the OP's feelings, she clearly sounds like this was a shock to her and hurt her feelings from her posts. Just because something doesn't seem hurtful to you doesn't mean it can't be hurtful to someone else. If, from her point of view, there wasn't a problem with her communication with her friend it is a shock to have that communication suddenly stopped by being blocked. It's like someone changing their phone number so you can't contact them and for the OP it came out of the blue, although I can also see her friend's point of view.