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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think blocking and deleting me is stupid

187 replies

trafficlightschanging · 18/12/2015 15:38

An old friend has deleted me and blocked me from Facebook!

Context is - she changed her profile picture and I commented it reminded me of a time at university. Went to message her later and she'd gone! I logged in as my sister and she's still on Facebook but I've been removed as a friend and blocked.

I've asked her and she says I'm always going on about university and she finds it embarrassing?

OP posts:
blobbityblob · 18/12/2015 17:10

I think she sounds a bit mean. It's fairly normal to think about the old days and have a laugh, especially if you know someone from that time and don't see them now.

MagicalMrsMistoffelees · 18/12/2015 17:11

And this is one of the many reasons I'm not on Facebook.

It's just pathetic!!

Nataleejah · 18/12/2015 17:11

I hate when people bring up/tag me in old and stupid photos from school or uni. Haven't blocked anybody, but i would if things got out of hand. Ancient classmates on FB are not really friends.

MontyYouTerribleCunt · 18/12/2015 17:13

Ah yeah it just sounds from your last post like she's really determined to move on completely from uni days for whatever reason. She probably thought she'd made that clear from the previous things on fb you mentioned and this last thing was the final straw.

Oh well, it doesnt meant you can't be RL friends as far as you have been. I have a relative I don't want on my fb she's a bit of a judgmental asshole at times but we see each other sometimes in RL as we are related and it can't be avoided. I like her ok in RL and we get on fine, but I wouldn't have her on my fb. That looks so weird written down but it works for us!

MoMoTy · 18/12/2015 17:14

I completely understand your friend doing this. I blocked someone for always keep referring to a specific time. You knew she seemed a bit sensitive about uni but you still said it. Move on, Uni must have finished a long time ago no need to keep on about it

MontyYouTerribleCunt · 18/12/2015 17:15

And by judgemental I don't mean about things like going out drinking all night leaving my baby home alone (which obviously I don't). More like pulling sick faces behind people's backs at the way they decorated their bathroom, not going to the 'naicest' school etc.

trafficlightschanging · 18/12/2015 17:28

I suppose for whatever reason she must not want me mentioning uni but since that's what we've got in common that's tough,

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ElderlyKoreanLady · 18/12/2015 17:31

I actually get why she got rid of you...it does sound quite annoying. Unfollowing you wouldn't work. She unfriended you and the block was probably so your feelings didn't get hurt. Most people wouldn't then go onto someone's account to see if a person they went to uni with over a decade ago was still on Facebook. In fact, most people wouldn't notice that person had defriended them.

When you say you're friends but aren't very close, have you actually seen her since uni? Socially?

trafficlightschanging · 18/12/2015 17:32

Yes, quite a few times which is why I'm a bit shocked I've been deleted/blocked!

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catfordbetty · 18/12/2015 17:49

Unless your comment was deliberately unkind, I think it's a reflection of her own insecurity and fear about what others think about her. She doesn't sound like much of a loss.

sandylion · 18/12/2015 17:52

do you actually see each other in real life or is facebook your only connection?

Hatethis22 · 18/12/2015 17:59

Your time at uni was 13+ years ago and you keep linking back to it. I would find it annoying if I were 34 and someone kept referencing what I did when I was 19 every time I posted something.

trafficlightschanging · 18/12/2015 18:18

I suppose you're right when you put it like that. It feels a lot more recent to me.

OP posts:
quietbatperson · 18/12/2015 18:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NaughtToThreeSadOnions · 18/12/2015 19:11

thing is if all you've got in common is something that hapoeed13 years ago well that's not a lot in common and if you keep harking back to to 13 years ago then it becomes repetitive and annoying. Also it stops you finding out wether they have other things in common.
I have a friend who until resently kept talking about the first time we met and about a mutural friend who died a few years ago. Every time i saw her it was "Harry did this and I said and and you said and Harry found it fut and we brought harry this Christmas present" and I got it it was her way of talking about Harry and sharing memories but a I was there I know what Harry said and did and b) when you've heard the same story ten times every year since he died then the memory isn't changing, and there's only so many times you can go yeah I remeber that too.
Do you talk about your life now? Her life now? Or is it constantly oh at uni we did this we knew these people you broke your phone you got drunk I was funny?!
I think if your not talking about your current circumstance and keep harking back to uni it's not tough it's what you've got in common it's tough on you that she's mover on and no longer has much in common with you and I don't blame her for blocking your.

SinisterBumFacedCat · 18/12/2015 19:25

Tbh she sounds like a a rubbish friend and has done you a favour.

Gruntfuttock · 18/12/2015 19:34

OP, did you ever talk about your lives now and what each have you have been doing since university?

Gruntfuttock · 18/12/2015 19:34

each of you I mean ^^

trafficlightschanging · 18/12/2015 22:41

But wouldn't you say that you preferred to talk about other things? Rather than block?

I suppose I do talk about university a lot.

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AnchorDownDeepBreath · 18/12/2015 22:46

It sounds like she did tell you, and you carried on anyway, so she's blocked you to stop you being able to see/post on her updates.

You admit that you knew uni was a sensitive topic for her and that she wasn't interested in talking about it, you've admitted that you talk about it a lot and it's what you have in common. It's quite possible that the friendship has just run its course.

PrimeDirective · 18/12/2015 22:48

You've gone your separate ways, she doesn't really like you any more - it happens. People change and grown apart.
I don't understand why you felt the need to contact her after it was clear she had blocked you. I'd take that as a clear sign that the didn't want to talk to me!
Does it matter? You weren't that close.

trafficlightschanging · 18/12/2015 22:51

We were fairly close, actually, which is why I'm taken aback by this.

We graduated in 2002, and although we loosely kept in touch it wasn't until everyone got Facebook (2007ish?) I really connected with her again.

I must have annoyed her by talking about university but I feel she could have told me that not just deleted me.

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Gruntfuttock · 18/12/2015 22:55

Perhaps she had already told you several times and you carried on regardless, so she finally gave up and blocked you.

Pantone363 · 18/12/2015 22:55

She thinks you haven't moved on from uni days. Same town, same stories and anecdotes. She's moved away and got all worldly etc. can't understand why you keep going on about uni. She's a different person now.

IloveAntbuthateDec · 18/12/2015 22:56

I think she has done you a favour by blocking you. Your friendship is in the past. You obviously have nothing in common these days. Let her go and enjoy your life. There is no point in holding on the past. You are two different people with completely different ways of life now. Enjoy the time you shared but its time to move on