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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

This is weird right?

133 replies

TheTravellingLemon · 17/12/2015 15:30

I found out this week that my ex has just had a little girl and given her my name. Is this weird? It's weird right?

We split up a good 10 years ago and have since each gone on to get married and have our own families but it's still weird isn't it? We were together for 7 years and we were very serious with an awfully messy breakup.

To be clear, before I get flamed for some unforeseen reason, I don't care, it's just odd. Isn't it? Or AIBU?

OP posts:
WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant · 17/12/2015 15:33

Possibly.

If your ex named her after you, then probably.
Unless you split on really good terms?

Or the baby's mum has always loved that name, they used it without even thinking of you. Which would bevfine.

WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant · 17/12/2015 15:33

Be fine. Sorry, sticky space bar!

00100001 · 17/12/2015 15:34

YABU

Ex hasn't given child "your" name. The child isn't named after you, it just happens to have the same name as you.

If it was 10 months ago weird, maybe. but it was 10 YEARS ago! Plus if it's a common name, then very not weird.

EatShitDerek · 17/12/2015 15:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 17/12/2015 15:36

Yeah, that's weird. I think so, anyway. Weird. But maybe it was because his OH really loved the name and he couldn't think of a decent reason not to use it?

When I was pg, and we didn't know if the babies were boys or girls, so were choosing names for both, DH vetoed certain girls' names on the grounds he'd been out with girls of those names, or they'd been horrible to him at school or similar - he absolutely would NOT have gone for the name of an ex with whom he'd had a spectacularly messy break up!

So yes, Weird. I keep saying it, I know. But it is.

TesticleOfObjectivity · 17/12/2015 15:36

I think yabu. 10 years is a long time and presumably the name was decided by two parents. I can see why it might feel weird but I really doubt there was any ulterior motive beyond them liking the name or having other personal connections to it.

Original poster
TheTravellingLemon · 17/12/2015 15:37

It is a popular name but it's still weird. We were together for a long time. Close to marriage. Really bad break up. I'm not bothered, I just find it weird.

OP posts:
WickedWax · 17/12/2015 15:37

It's weird.

While I agree with a poster that it's not 'your' name and the child isn't named 'after you', it's still bloody weird.

I would guess the baby's mum doesn't know about you, and she chose the name.

TheWatchersCouncil · 17/12/2015 15:37

Possibly. I think it depends on the name. If it's something like Sarah, then likely to be just a coincidence. If it's Talulah or Hortense, then possibly more likely to be at least inspired by you. Does his new wife know what your name is?

OddSocksHighHeels · 17/12/2015 15:39

It is a bit weird. It could be a family name on her side or something though?

When I was pregnant my then DP said he had an ex, let's call her Amy, and he thought Amy was such a wonderful name as it reminded him of her so we should call DD Amy. We did not call DD Amy.

Original poster
TheTravellingLemon · 17/12/2015 15:39

Thank you ThumbWitchesAbroad! It's just weird. Not evil or anything, just weird.

Weird weird weird.

OP posts:
gabsdot45 · 17/12/2015 15:39

A friend of mine named her first baby the same name as her first boyfriend. Some people commented at the time but it's soon forgotten.
Maybe the name is significant to his wife.

worldgonecrazy · 17/12/2015 15:40

It's weird. One of my exes did this, and I have a not-very-common name. I suspect he liked the name more than he liked me.

pictish · 17/12/2015 15:42

I don't think it's that weird, no. Maybe his partner likes the name. It was 10 years ago, so it's no longer relevant imo.

TheWatchersCouncil · 17/12/2015 15:42

Not as weird as this though:
I was having laser to remove a tattoo and the nurse told me about a client who had the name of her ex on her inner wrist. She had decided it was too painful to remove and so had named her DS1 after her ex, so the name on her wrist would now make sense again.
That's odd.

Original poster
TheTravellingLemon · 17/12/2015 15:44

TheWatchersCouncil Yep, you win. That's definitely weirder Grin.

OP posts:
TheJiminyConjecture · 17/12/2015 15:49

DH vetoed a name I loved based on a tenuous link to an ex gf. He'd have a heart attack at the suggestion of the same name!

I'm with Derek I'd have to do some digging to find out if there's significance on the side of his wife

freespiritsbadattitude · 17/12/2015 15:49

TheWatchers that's REALLY weird!

OP I think it's odd of your ex to do that. I would love to know if his DP/W knows about you!

OddSocksHighHeels · 17/12/2015 15:51

TheWatchers Grin I thought my ex was bad enough, that's proper bonkers!

LaContessaDiPlump · 17/12/2015 15:55

I thought it made a weird kind of sense Watchers Blush

NoPowerInTheVerseCanStopMe · 17/12/2015 15:55

It is a bit weird but there may be another reason for him and his wife to choose that name.

My ex's daughter has my name as her middle name which I initially thought was very odd, until I remembered my name was also his sister's name!

fidel1ne · 17/12/2015 15:56

Yes, really weird. A seven year relationship is serious and unforgettable. It might be slightly different if it were a 7 date relationship.

Epilepsyhelp · 17/12/2015 15:57

Maybe the wife always loved that name or maybe he always loved the name and just thought, it's been long enough now..? I wouldn't do it though I don't think, partly because I wouldn't want an ex thinking what you're thinking now!

goodnightdarthvader1 · 17/12/2015 16:03

It's weird. I couldn't even my child after someone I knew at school, let alone an ex.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 17/12/2015 16:04

See, I think the one in Watcher's post was just making the best of a bad situation there - not quite so weird, more practical. But still has weirdness about it as well. Unless she didn't mind her ex.

Of my exes, there are 2 or 3 I wouldn't have minded using the names, as they were fairly amicable splits, and I'm still friends with a couple of them - but there are also 2 that I wouldn't have used if you'd PAID me, even if they were the only ones that DH wanted and he couldn't like anything else!