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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

This is weird right?

133 replies

TheTravellingLemon · 17/12/2015 15:30

I found out this week that my ex has just had a little girl and given her my name. Is this weird? It's weird right?

We split up a good 10 years ago and have since each gone on to get married and have our own families but it's still weird isn't it? We were together for 7 years and we were very serious with an awfully messy breakup.

To be clear, before I get flamed for some unforeseen reason, I don't care, it's just odd. Isn't it? Or AIBU?

OP posts:
ByTheWishingWell · 17/12/2015 20:42

When I was pregnant, the only boys name we could both really liked was the name of my first boyfriend, who I lost my virginity to. I was a bit unsure because we still have mutual friends, and I thought he might wonder if I'd named my baby after him.

I posted on MN for opinions, I think the consensus was that it would be weird. Luckily I had a girl. Grin

TheIncredibleBookEatingManchot · 17/12/2015 21:05

My DS1 has the same name as an ex.

It has nothing to do with him. That name also appears in a song that I love and really identify with.

The importance of that song to me outweighed the importance of ex to me, so DS got the name.

Crabbitface · 18/12/2015 10:11

Nah.. she loved her sister and it's a common enough but lovely name. And his ex-wife was a nice woman. We spent a lot of time with her and my half-siblings as kids so there was no animosity. I can see why it sounds weird...but in reality it just wasn't.

ceebie · 18/12/2015 10:15

I really liked the name of my Ex, but I ruled it out for DS because it would just seem too weird to all those who knew my Ex or knew about him. I had long since moved on from my Ex; to me it was easy to separate the name from the Ex. But to others it would appear weird, so I didn't want to go there.

Sunbeam1112 · 18/12/2015 12:02

Its extremely werid i have liked many names that were ex bfs but i would never use them to name our child neither would my DH.

Original poster
TheTravellingLemon · 18/12/2015 16:07

I've given it some thought and I've read all the responses and I am sticking with weird. I think his parents will find it really weird too. We were really close at the time and I still bump into them every now and again. And his brothers. And we still have some mutual friends. Weird.

OP posts:
CherryPits · 18/12/2015 20:21

Honestly I think you're not wanting to admit you're no longer significant to him. I don't mean that nastily. But obviously if you were significant, he'd never have agreed to use that name.

mewkins · 18/12/2015 20:23

Yep. Weird.

user7755 · 18/12/2015 20:29

Cherry I agree with your post.

10 years is a long time - let it go

OddSocksHighHeels · 18/12/2015 20:30

10 years is a long time but they were together for 7 years. That's significant in my books.

user7755 · 18/12/2015 20:51

It was 10 years ago. Unless he tends to be quite an emotional / sentimental person I really wouldn't overthink it.

nippiesweetie · 18/12/2015 20:59

Everyone has typed the word weird so often it is now getting weird.

OddSocksHighHeels · 18/12/2015 21:00

I don't think lemon is overthinking it. She finds it a bit weird is all.

OddSocksHighHeels · 18/12/2015 21:00

X post. Sorry nippie Grin

Invandrare · 18/12/2015 21:01

I find it peculiar. Definitely very peculiar.

SocksRock · 18/12/2015 21:06

We once bought a house from a couple. She had two kids and he was the stepdad? But he had the same - really really unusual name as her eldest son. I've never met anyone else with it. At the time I though it was really odd...

OddSocksHighHeels · 18/12/2015 21:07

peculiar is a great word.

MrsDeVere · 18/12/2015 21:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IrritableBitchSyndrome · 18/12/2015 21:21

LaContessa, I too thought the naming son after wrist tattoo kinda... ingenius :)

Original poster
TheTravellingLemon · 18/12/2015 21:45

Thanks OddSocksHighHeels, I knew I liked you Smile.

I'm not over thinking it or not letting it go. It's just weird (sorry).

I didn't use a name I really liked because it was the same name as a girl that bullied my sister in primary school so it had a bad association. I see it on here all the time so I can only assume it's not unusual . 'Can't use that name because my uncle's girlfriend's cousin's best mate was called that and she was a bitch'.

In fact, if you don't think it's weird, then you're weird. I just wanted to say weird again

OP posts:
ThumbWitchesAbroad · 18/12/2015 21:49

Ha! I agree that name associations can last a hell of a long time - my Dad is in his 80s and still has issues around the name "Tina" because he knew someone in his 20s who was called that and was very unpleasant to him! He would have been quite upset if we had had a DD and called her that (Wasn't ever going to happen, I was bullied by a Tina at school as well, so he was safe!)

Definitely odd thing to do. Peculiar, and indeed, weird. Xmas Grin

user7755 · 18/12/2015 21:56

If you think it's weird, don't use an ex's name for your kids. He obviously doesn't think it's weird so has used the same name as yours, it doesn't mean anything necessarily.

It probably hasn't even crossed his mind, some people don't get hung up on this stuff.

Hassled · 18/12/2015 22:05

It is bloody weird. Mind you, I still squirm a bit at the knowledge that one of my DSs has the same name as a lad I went out with for about 6 months when I was 17. It's a nice name. But OP went out with this guy for years and years - no doubt about it, it's weird.

Hygge · 18/12/2015 22:11

Thing is though OP, he's had nine months to think about it, and talk about it with his partner, and get used to the idea, and associate it with his baby rather than you.

You've had a couple of days to wonder why he chose your name over all the other names in the world.

So it's not surprising you're still finding it weird.

They might have had the "would this be weird" conversation months ago and decided it was fine.

OddSocksHighHeels · 18/12/2015 22:16

I like you too Smile

I ruled out so many names because of associations I had with them. Meh.

user she never said it meant anything to her ex. She just finds it weird/peculiar/odd/strange/unusual (delete as applicable).