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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

This is weird right?

133 replies

TheTravellingLemon · 17/12/2015 15:30

I found out this week that my ex has just had a little girl and given her my name. Is this weird? It's weird right?

We split up a good 10 years ago and have since each gone on to get married and have our own families but it's still weird isn't it? We were together for 7 years and we were very serious with an awfully messy breakup.

To be clear, before I get flamed for some unforeseen reason, I don't care, it's just odd. Isn't it? Or AIBU?

OP posts:

debbietheduck · 18/12/2015 22:28

Yes, exs' names are a no go when naming a baby. I thought everyone knew that.

So it is weird peculiar startling.

Trixietwenty16 · 18/12/2015 22:31

Definitely very weird Lemon. I only have one significant ex and even if I liked his name I'd never use it because it would be weird!
There are loads and loads of names and surely there were others on their list that were nice and weren't your name.

IWasHereBeforeTheHack · 18/12/2015 22:35

This is giving me an interesting perspective. DH is named after a previous boyfriend of his DMs, ie not the man she married/DH's father. I hadn't realised it was so weird until I read this thread.

Crabbitface · 18/12/2015 22:42

Still not weird.

OddSocksHighHeels · 18/12/2015 22:48

Not weird but peculiar/odd/unusual/strange/unsettling/bizarre right?

twirlypoo · 18/12/2015 22:51

My ex is called Darren. My future off spring can rest easy

I'm in the weird camp by the way!

Crabbitface · 18/12/2015 22:57

Nope! Just a name. Perhaps irregular, or unorthodox, or even unexpected but not weird

Greatblue0wl · 18/12/2015 23:13

Sorry I am with those who say he doesn't think of you when he hears the name.

One of my favourite boys names is the same of a horrible ex, if I ever named a child that name it would not be because I still held a torch for him.

Are hoping there is more to this?

FattySantaRobin · 18/12/2015 23:20

She's not hoping there's more to it, just thinking its strange. Which it is...

OddSocksHighHeels · 18/12/2015 23:22

Some people seem to read far more into things than what is written. She doesn't seem overly concerned, just finds it

Mumoftwoyoungkids · 18/12/2015 23:23

Hmmm -.when I was 16 I went out for a few weeks with a lad with a pretty common name. (Let's call him Oliver.) He usually shorted it to Ollie and I think of him as Ollie. We had occasional snogs (three times in total I think) over the next couple of years.

Age 33 I got pregnant with dc2. Dd (then aged 3) suggested Oliver as a name and dh really liked it and I came round to it. We called ds Oliver.

When ds was 6 months old I got a FB friend request from Ollie but his FB name is Oliver. I saw it and thought "oh shit!" It just hadn't occurred to me.

I wonder if he is currently posting on dads net about me.

Although a two week relationship (even with additional snogging) is not quite the same as 7 years.

Greatblue0wl · 18/12/2015 23:34

Fatty and odd - fair enough, she hasn't said that. But I feel it reads like 'the child was named after me as I left such an impact on him'

OddSocksHighHeels · 18/12/2015 23:39

We read it differently then. I just read it as "ex's baby has my name and it feels kinda weird to me" rather than her thinking the baby was named after me. I find it weird when I meet other people with my name as it is, never mind if those people were babies fathered by my ex I may well be odd (it's in the name, can't say I didn't warn you).

FattySantaRobin · 18/12/2015 23:42

I read it like oddsocks
I think it's weird that a girl I was best friends with for a while had the same first and middle name as me. She goes by a different name though so it wasn't confusing unless we were with her dad who refused to call her anything but my name. Then it got really weird

Obloquy · 18/12/2015 23:59

I do think it's weird, a seven year relationship is a long one even if it was ten years ago!

It wouldn't be so odd if there was another connection e.g. if it's a family name in the wife's family.

MitzyLeFrouf · 19/12/2015 00:04

It's very weird!

MitzyLeFrouf · 19/12/2015 00:06

Very serious 7 year relationship and very messy breakup.

Yep, weird.

SanityClause · 19/12/2015 00:20

My ex is called Darren. My future off spring can rest easy

I have an ex called Kevin. I have a DS who is not called Kevin. (Because that would be weird.)

Original poster

TheTravellingLemon · 19/12/2015 03:29

oddsocks is right I'm afraid. I don't much care, it just struck me as a strange thing to do. I don't think the baby is named after me nor do I think he's forgotten me. I think he probably just liked the name and didn't give it much more thought than that.

Weird though.

OP posts:

ReginaBlitz · 19/12/2015 09:03

It was 10 years ago Ffs, and not being horrible you probably havnt even crossed his mind! He's with someone else has a baby etc. Not everyone goes on about ex's to new partners especially ones from 10 years ago! I know I don't. And as for all these vids and photos you are in do you really think he still has them? Unless you had kids together then newsflash you are old news.

Saukko · 19/12/2015 09:04

I think it's weird. If she suggested it, he likely said "I have an ex called that" and the name goes off the list.

I will say that I've heard quite a lot of women lamenting that the only female names their partners can come up with are the ones they can remember off the tops of their heads, usually exes or their manager or something.

thecatsarecrazy · 19/12/2015 09:22

Maybe it was his wife's idea. I picked our sons names my dh just kind of went along with it .

user7755 · 19/12/2015 09:41

I really don't see that it's weird. It's just a name. I think what's more weird is the number of people who seem to get hung up on this sort of stuff.

I haven't been on MN for a while and one of the things that coming back has reminded me is that a lot of people get hung up about some very strange things. I remember a whole thread about whether it's OK to hang underwear on the line if you can see it from the road.

Original poster

TheTravellingLemon · 19/12/2015 09:52

thecatsarecrazy I think that's the most likely scenario too. That's what happened in our house as well. I pleaded with DH to come up with some names. He did. But they all began with 'A' because he got bored before he got to the 'B's. I'm surprised our kids aren't called Aaron and Abbie.

user underwear visible from the road?

It's not ok.

OP posts:

user7755 · 19/12/2015 10:34

It has helped me to understand my sister, Lemon, who I love dearly but has some very 'Mrs Bucket' ideas about life but doesn't really care about the bigger issues if they don't affect her. For example, loves her kid's school and stresses about kids who don't fit the mould upsetting the apple cart but can't see that kids with SEN also have a right to a decent education (even though she loves my son to bits and he has SEN).

Being on here has taught me that a lot of people have that view of life which focusses on their bit of it and what happens is that the little issues become big issues. Given that so many people are like this, I have learned to accept and understand it, rather than be frustrated by it - it's very balancing!

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