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AIBU?

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Original poster

"Naughty List" letter from school

248 replies

StormDesmond · 14/12/2015 16:38

5 year old son has come home from school tonight with a letter from Father Christmas saying he's currently on the "naughty list" and has one week to improve his behaviour! I asked what he'd done that was "naughty" and he said he'd been messing about instead of listening - as have most of the class this week.

I'm aware that he's currently very excited and a class of 30 excited kids can't be easy to teach but surely it's not school's place to do this?? We wouldn't dream of doing it at home - AIBU to be upset that they've done it at school?

OP posts:
LyndaNotLinda · 15/12/2015 13:10

My son has SEN catford. If he came home with that letter, even though he's nearly 9, he would be absolutely devastated and I'd be stuck with the fallout.

And actually I think MN is generally very supportive of teachers and reserves its opprobrium for PFB parents. But obviously that doesn't support your narrative.

catfordbetty · 15/12/2015 13:47

I think MN is generally very supportive of teachers

We must be reading different threads.

nutellacrumpet · 15/12/2015 13:54

It is this sort of ridiculous nonsense why I wouldn't send my child to a state school.

witsender · 15/12/2015 14:02

Public schools can be even worse Nutella...trust me on that. This is a teacher thing...not a school thing.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 15/12/2015 14:08

It is this sort of ridiculous nonsense why I wouldn't send my child to a state school.

What a steaming pile of crap that statement is ^.

This is nothing to do with state v private.

LaurieLemons · 15/12/2015 14:42

I think it's silly because what if the kids still don't behave? Parents aren't going to cancel Christmas so it's not very effective is it. The number 1 rule is that you have to follow through with any disclipline

LaurieLemons · 15/12/2015 14:43

Nothing to do with state vs private how ignorant

BondJayneBond · 15/12/2015 15:04

The only way this could be about state vs private would be if the Department of Education were encouraging schools to use Santa (or no Santa?) as a threat.

I'm pretty sure this isn't an official government initiative.

Youarentkiddingme · 15/12/2015 15:48

A school wide initiative that only applied to the boys Hmm did it never cross their mind that maybe sitting and watching frozen is what didn't appeal to the boys?

IM226 · 15/12/2015 16:48

I'm a teacher and would never dream of doing this! I could imagine that some children would be really distressed at the thought too!

Yes the children are all high as kites - it's nearly Christmas! Using Santa as a threat is up to a parent but definitely not the school.

IM226 · 15/12/2015 16:53

Sorry - just noticed it's come from the 'Super Head'.
They need a stern talking to then!

LynetteScavo · 15/12/2015 17:05

I would send a letter to the HT from Santa saying he was on the naughty list and state the reason. I would put loads of sparky glitter in it.

LarrytheCucumber · 15/12/2015 17:27

What about families like us where 'Father Christmas' and 'Santa' just don't exist? We told our children it was a lovely story that some people believe, but that their Christmas presents came from people who love them. I'd be as irritated by a letter from 'Father Christmas' as some people are about a Gideon Bible.
Having said that DS would definitely have been on the naughty list if there had been one Sad He has Aspergers which was undiagnosed until he was 12.

lovemyway · 15/12/2015 17:32

Wow larry I've never met anyone that decided to do that. I loved the Santa thing as a child and followed suit with my own though I was slightly uncomfortable lying! I did ask them last week(now teenagers) if they wished we hadn't and they said oh no it was great so I was relieved I hadn't scarred them.

thequickbrownfox · 15/12/2015 17:39

LynetteScavo, a tufty badge for your excellent suggestion!

Martinb84 · 15/12/2015 18:01

Remember when we were at school, if we had a letter for bad behaviour, we would be sh1tting ourselves because our parents would get us in trouble etc.

Now, it seems a letter about bad behaviour is to be shown to your parents for them to charge in and berate the teacher.

Asking kids to concentrate on behaviour in the classroom for a week is not an unreasonable request. Kids understand Santa. They understand a few days. Encouraging good behaviour is a difficult thing to do, and using Santa as a tool is perfectly acceptable. If my boy came home with this letter is fully agree, and tell him that unless he comes home with another letter saying how well he behaved, he wouldn't be getting presents. Simple.

Baconyum · 15/12/2015 18:07

That it's a school wide thing makes it worse in my opinion as that means there's definitely no consideration for the different ages, backgrounds and personal circumstances of the children.

I also agree ultimately it was the teachers decision to issue the letter, to decide that the behaviour was bad enough.

I'm a strict parent (according to my daughter and her peers) and would in this situation have had a word re her poor behaviour BUT I'd still be having a word with the teacher and head about how inappropriate, ill thought out and ineffective this idea is.

MostlyColouringIn · 15/12/2015 18:34

I am reading my husband (-teacher in a management position) this thread and he is sat in open-mouthed shock! He suggests writing to your Local Education Authority at the council to log a complaint. This is not an acceptable punishment technique, whether a child/whole class of children, is/are misbehaving or not! Sorry to sound so dramatic, but its really not professional!

LarrytheCucumber · 15/12/2015 19:03

lovemyway funnily enough I was talking about it to a friend the other day and she said she did exactly the same thing, so there are at least two of us!

DisappointedOne · 15/12/2015 19:29

Make that 3.

DisappointedOne · 15/12/2015 19:31

And I have 2 their friends that have done the same.

DisappointedOne · 15/12/2015 19:32

*other, not their

JessicasRabbit · 15/12/2015 19:43

martin, of course kids understand Santa and understand a few days. That still doesn't make this an effective behaviour management technique. Kids (and lots of adults, to be fair) are crap at delayed gratification. Young children in particular do things without thinking through the consequences. I think it's telling that teachers on the thread have not agreed with this.

A letter from school simply detailing bad behaviour would have been much better. Schools need to keep parents on side. Something like this was only ever going to get parents backs up. In this instance the child was wrong for his poor behaviour AND the school was wrong for the letter.

I understand that it was the teacher's decision to use the letter, but with a new boss her job may well have been on the line if she disregarded a school-wide policy. Especially if all the other teachers were following it. There are school policies where I work that I think are rubbish but I follow through with them because I have to. Surely that's true for most jobs.

Lizzzombie · 15/12/2015 19:54

It could be worse...
Last year a friend of mine whose son was only in year 3 had his teacher announce to the class of 7 & 8 year olds that Father Christmas wasn't real, & was only a marketing ploy dreamt up to get parents to spend more money. How awful is that?! so not the teacher's place to even go there!

Tamponlady · 15/12/2015 19:55

Or how about op improves her child's behaviour

Yes do nothing and write a angery letter to the school

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