"Naughty List" letter from school

[StormDesmond]

5 year old son has come home from school tonight with a letter from Father Christmas saying he's currently on the "naughty list" and has one week to improve his behaviour! I asked what he'd done that was "naughty" and he said he'd been messing about instead of listening - as have most of the class this week.

I'm aware that he's currently very excited and a class of 30 excited kids can't be easy to teach but surely it's not school's place to do this?? We wouldn't dream of doing it at home - AIBU to be upset that they've done it at school?

I'm a teacher and also an adoptive parent.

This is so wrong!

I hate it when shop assistants etc say stuff like "Santa won't come!" If my kids play up in a shop but a teacher?!!??!!! Who knows its his first Christmas with his adoptive family??!!!!! Ffs!

My 9 yr old adopted daughter has been with me since she was 2. I have never used Father Christmas as a behaviour management strategy, but DD is really worried that she won't get anything this year because she's "not good enough"

Adopted kids carry so much guilt and shame already.

This is lazy, ill thought out and just inexcusable.

I would be furious.

I think that using Santa as a threat it completely inappropriate behaviour management for the school.

It is not up to the school impose its own ideas of who santa is or isn't on the children.

Massive lack of respect for the family and their values and beliefs.

The behaviour is a separate issue, which should be addressed by school and home together.

Haven't read the whole thread (sorry) so excuses if someone has already thought of this but what I would do is this: write a letter to the teacher from Santa and say that as she has been impersonating him she's been put on the naughty list, and has 24 hours to redeem herself. See how she likes it.

I was about to post this is wrong on so many levels..... Then I read DS is adopted and this will be our first Christmas together - possibly his first "real" Christmas. I think that's why I was initially worrying I was over reacting.

I'm so I could cry.

This is so appallingly inappropriate I'm just

wow - only just caught up with the fact that ds is recently adopted.

I am school governor, and on school threads usually try and keep a balanced view, and support teachers etc.

In this case, I would actually complain to the teacher, and if she doesn't see the problem, then complain to the head.

Ha ha brave teacher! it's always the naughty children's parents who are 'not happy about this' Classic!

Oh come on, Santa not coming has been used as encouragement to behave for decades. Why are people so precious these day? Spare the metaphorical rod and spoil the child!!

OP, you have reassured your DS he will be getting presents, regardless of his behaviour choices, haven't you?

Green did you read the update where it said the child was adopted this year and it's his first Christmas with the op?

I had only read the OP. However, I still think that the child should be treated the same as others. How many of the chn have their own personal situations and worries? I am pretty sure that the school is well aware of this child's situation and this 'list' has probably been blown out of all proportion. Reception teachers are very aware of little one's sensitivities and I'm sure it was said in an encouraging way and they'll all get a present from the school.

There's no denying that this was a cack-handed strategy on the part of the teacher but this weird, Mumsnet-confected outrage about it is laughable.

I would be livid. It's a punishment I would never dream of and could not and would not enforce.

To all saying minimising the behaviour you are taking the focus off. The kid is 4/5 and it's 2 weeks before Christmas I bet 3/4 of the class are fidgety, not paying attention and over excited.

My DS is like a hyper bunny right now but he listens (mostly) in school, even this week because his teacher is bloody awesome and knows how to calm a room full of 5/6 year olds. Same as last year. They aren't even doing work at this point to be good for, it's mostly fun stuff like Christmas counting, colouring and nativity plays.

As harsh as it is if you can't keep control without doing this then you need to rethink teaching infants tbh.

This does seem very harsh for children in Reception. I am a teacher and have never heard of teachers using this strategy. To me it screams of a teacher who is struggling to control the children (maybe just the time of year?) and is probably tired and fed up of excited children. No excuse for it though.
On another matter, I hope you were asked for permission for your children to watch Frozen? It is a PG and therefore school must ask for permission from parents before showing it. A colleague of mine made that mistake and got in a bit of trouble.

Also it's not speaking in haste if they printed off and filled in letters FFS. This is planned crappy discipline. I'm interested to hear what the school says and find out how many other kids got the letter...

Ha ha brave teacher! it's always the naughty children's parents who are 'not happy about this' Classic!

mine are well behaved and I rarely have behaviour issues at school (now home - that is another matter )

I think it is unacceptable, because I try and avoid this crap with my kids, it goes massively against my view, I hate the idea of threatening kids that if you don't behave you won't get presents. It is meaningless (who actually ever takes presents away??) and it is totally against what I think is a reasonable way to discipline, which is to do with consequences relating to the action. So in this case, misbehave in class, then you do your work while the others are doing something nice.
I am very aware that many people throw this about, including teachers, but to actually send it home as a letter to parents about a real behaviour problem, is ridiculous. It cuts right across families own beliefs and values.

I am a primary teacher myself and find this quite disturbing!

Of course a teacher will inform you about any unacceptable behaviour but this way is very inappropriate. Has your child seen this?! How distressing for a 5 year old to think that Santa may not come this xmas. This will also give them such a negative view of school and teachers. We are not all like that!
I would approach the head and ask if this is whole school policy first, then speak to the teacher and explain how you feel. There may be a reasonable explanation but I'm struggling TBH. How would the teacher follow this up?!

Would be interested in the outcome of this.

I think the ignorance about adoption is pitiful catford

Mumsnet competition for the moral high ground takes first prize in the pitiful stakes, I think.

As a teacher I find it unacceptable. I think it unacceptable for parents to use it too.

As we didn't do Father Christmas, my DCs would have been somewhat bemused.

just to point out how ridiculous this is, what if Ops ds is massively badly behaved this week?

Would school then ask the parents to remove some/all of his Christmas presents in order to fulfill the threat that they have put in place? Because that is the logical conclusion to this letter, and when you put it like that it shows what a stupid act it was on the part of the teacher.

O.K. DeVere whatever.

I'd wrap the child in extra cotton wool tomorrow just in case one layer isn't enough. Just kidding!