"Naughty List" letter from school

[StormDesmond]

5 year old son has come home from school tonight with a letter from Father Christmas saying he's currently on the "naughty list" and has one week to improve his behaviour! I asked what he'd done that was "naughty" and he said he'd been messing about instead of listening - as have most of the class this week.

I'm aware that he's currently very excited and a class of 30 excited kids can't be easy to teach but surely it's not school's place to do this?? We wouldn't dream of doing it at home - AIBU to be upset that they've done it at school?

So OP have you spoken to your child about his behaviour?

It's very childish. Surely sticking with the usual discipline, if necessary going to parents and not spouting superstitious crap about fictional beings punishing you is where teachers should sit themselves. A large group of children (including mine) aren't bought up to believe in FC/SC/PN and they know it's all a lie/ joke. The teacher must not want taking seriously.

Haven't rtft, but by god OP! I'd be very unhappy with the school. Awful thing to do to any child, never mind a newly adopted kid. Are you going to speak to the school about it?

What a silly thing to do. I'm all for discipline and will back the teacher all the way if DC have been misbehaving, but this is a daft way to go about it, because

• it relies on the parents taking an action (cancelling christmas, or at least agreeing to keep up with the story that it could happen) without agreeing this with them first
• it's an empty threat - Christmas (in most cases) won't be cancelled if DC don't behave in class
• it doesn't link the punishment to the misbehaviour - nor does it give clarity about how the child can 'earn' christmas back, or how they'll know if they have
• it doesn't take into account children who don't celebrate christmas

i could go on. Very poor practice

What Frusso suggests above is genius.

OP, DO IT, DO IT, DO IT!

I agree Maryz

Okay, managed to grab 2 minutes with a very busy teacher (who had a queue of other parents waiting!). She explained that the letter is a school wide initiative being pushed on the teachers by their new "super head" who is under orders to improve things at the school. (She didn't use these exact words but her meaning was very clear!)

The letter was given to ALL the boys in the class as they were all silly during the DVD. She assured me DS's behaviour has been acceptable the rest of the term. When I asked what would happen if the boys were silly again this week (as they will be with a nativity, a panto, a Christmas dinner, a school fair and a class party all happening this week!) she said teachers would "turn a blind eye" unless it was really serious - and all the boys would be given another letter on Friday telling them they're now on the good list! Ridiculous.

I'm not one to kick up a fuss, ever, and shy away from confrontation but can't believe how annoyed I feel over this whole issue. DS told me this morning that he won't speak in class today incase he stays on the naughty list - it's taken 6 months of very hard work to give him the confidence to speak at school! Incidentally his teacher was excellent in helping with this.

What a load of bullshit!! I'm so sorry for your poor DS storm things like this are why I'm dreading my DS going to school when the teachers have school wide initiatives that don't take into account individuals

Maryz there are some VERY vocal parents in this class so I'm pretty sure things are going to kick off without my further involvement! As some very kind PP suggested we're now going to try and forget all this and enjoy our lovely first Christmas together.

poor teacher, I now feel sorry for her.

I think I would compose a letter to the head (and possibly cc to chair of governors)
I would outline the concerns on this thread

• discipline being linked to offence

-threats being enforceable, and school based.

• issues around families having different values wrt Santa, or different faiths etc

-issues around your ds, especially what you said in your last post about the knock to his confidence after months of encouragement.

I would follow it up, because to me it is worse that it is a heads initiative, and school wide.

This is a non issue.

I would focus on the good stuff and not this. No need to bug the busy teacher.

In the end if something isn't done about low level disruption then no learning will occur.
It might not be the best way to tackle poor behaviour either but surely this is hardly the end of the world.
Maybe Just explain not to muck about - I wouldn't undermine the teacher though.

Am not surprised your annoyed op I would be really pissed off and would actually go and speak to the head about it if it was their idea may even take to the press enjoy a wonderful first Christmas together

I am all for schools enforcing standards.

That said I think this is a "family" area that school have intruded on a bit.

So the teacher had to do it!

That's fucking ridiculous.

Personally I would fire off an email to the governors and head.

But it really depends on how much you want to peruse it.

I always say 'pick your battles'. Entirely up to you wether you pick this one or not.

It's all very well the teacher blaming the head but presumably it was up to the teacher when (and hence 'if') the letter was used. The teacher decided to issue that letter for talking during a film which just shows crap judgement all round.

I'd also be pissed off that it was issued to all the boys because if none of the boys were engaging with the film it seems to me the film wasn't the right choice either.

I also noted earlier that the teacher was sewing nativity costumes while the DVD was put on to amuse the kids.

No wonder kids got bored. Why would a bunch of 5 yo boys want to sit still while a teacher sewed costumes and a dull film was on? Particularly when most homes use TV as background noise and no child sits still while watching?

Incidentally my DD, while in reception couldn't watch any film or DVD, she found them far too stimulating and would freak out. The school were very understanding and allowed her to sit in the library if any DVD was being shown.

Well, on that update, take Frusso's suggestion and send a letter from Santa to the headteacher complaining about the breech in confidentiality and that Santa will communicate via parents rather than school, thank you.

"You are currently on Jesus's Naughty List and are not going to Heaven until you pull your socks up."

Totally unnaceptable and has nothing to do with discipline at home - he was aware he was messing about in class. So he understood he shouldnt have been doing that.

Have read most but not all the thread.

Is there any chance that both this school and the nursery with the red and green books are having a visit from Santa?

So the letter is about the school Santa visit?

OK clutching at straws here.

surely this is hardly the end of the world

Of course it isn't. But Mumsnet thrives on outrage - especially it it's directed at teachers and schools.

*if it's