Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

Original poster

To be mad at my asshole boyfriend

180 replies

Whatthecrocodilehat · 11/12/2015 20:04

Been really busy today with poorly baby.
My BF has been texting me and my answers have been short as I have been quite stressed cleaning up projectile vomit all day and doing a trip to hospital.
Basically I didn't ask BF about how his day was and how he is.
When he mentioned that, I said sorry and asked him how he was.
He then goes on to tell me that he had fallen off the roof at work, broken his wrist and gouged his leg down the bone. When I phoned him in a panic he didn't answer so I text him again to ask what the doctors have said.
He said that they said that his misses should always ask how he is so he doesn't need to make up stupid stories.

AIBU to be fucking livid and go over to his and give him a fucking kick in the nuts?!

OP posts:

GloGirl · 12/12/2015 08:36

You're leaving your baby who has a sore throat and croup and hand foot and mouth to go and shop and then get drunk? None of my fucking business but I am a bit surprised.

665TheNeighbourOfTheBeast · 12/12/2015 08:37

Ooooh a joke a joke...where do you find crocodiles ?
In de Nile
Actually I do hope you are right, and he has learned...but an adult who does that in the first place has to be hard work to teach, because its something they should have picked up by now.

DonkeyOaty · 12/12/2015 08:38

Have a super day

what glo said

Original poster

Whatthecrocodilehat · 12/12/2015 08:38

I will have a glass of wine with my lunch. She is fine with my DP. Do you not trust your DP to look after your children ?!

OP posts:

Moonriver1 · 12/12/2015 08:50

Hey that's pretty judgemental Glo.

It's fine to go shopping and have some wine, and leave partner to look after your child!

Jesus.

Have a good one

IDependOnCodeineToo · 12/12/2015 08:52

Well I'd personally feel wary about one who seems to be jealous of her and only yesterday pulled a controlling stunt like he did.

Imknackeredzzz · 12/12/2015 08:53

Sorry wouldn't leave my sick child either

Original poster

Whatthecrocodilehat · 12/12/2015 08:57

She's got a few viral infections. She's fine. I'm 5 minutes up the road and I can't cancel Christmas for everyone because I this is the only day I can go out and do my shopping. I would usually take DD with me of course but she is highly contagious and would much rather be cuddled up on the sofa with DP watching Tangled.

OP posts:

Moonriver1 · 12/12/2015 09:05

That doesn't mean he can't be trusted with a child, Codeine, but I do totally take your point.

I suppose it just gets my blood up when mothers are judged for leaving their kids where there is alternative care provided, even if the kid is under the weather (which can be a LOT as we all know).

I don't think it's helpful to go off topic and start laying into OP about this.

I would much rather OP concentrates on looking long and hard at this relationship going forward - see my previous post re my friend.

Bossytits · 12/12/2015 09:58

He sounds 'needy' to me OP. Not something I like about a man.

SupSlick · 12/12/2015 10:02

I was with a guy like this once. My DS was in Resus in A&E & ex decided to break up with me by text for "a joke" & laughed at how "convincing" he was & how "gullible" I am. Yeh, screaming down the phone at me calling me alsorts at the most stressful day of mine & my son's life...

I hung up & didn't give him another thought. Didn't answer texts. He's now having a baby with someone else & I actually dread how bad he must be treating his new partner.

You don't need a manchild.

BolshierAryaStark · 12/12/2015 10:06

Yep he's a fuckwit & I'd throw him off a fucking roof for this. He's telling you very clearly who he is, listen to him.
& no way would I leave my child with someone who's clearly so jealous of them.

DoreenLethal · 12/12/2015 10:14

Competitive attention seeking passive aggressive behaviour - I can see why you need wine OP.

IDependOnCodeineToo · 12/12/2015 12:27

Well yes Moonriver I'm sure she'll be fine, my view is clearly tainted by what this guy did yesterday.

And I agree with you, looking after a poorly child is hard work, nothing at all wrong with a break! In fact it's essential to avoid burnout.

I'm just concerned about what he did. It shows his mind was on himself, not on a sick child. It wasn't a spur of the moment thing he blurted out, it was a carefully thought through text that he CHOSE to send. He then gave the OP the silent treatment - very cruel and manipulative!
He then congratulated himself on his 'prank' and played the 'just joking' card.

This is what would make me wary, it indicates warped thinking that could well escalate. Just be careful OP and hope your dd gets better soon.

cailindana · 12/12/2015 12:34

He scared the absolute shit out of you, just for spite, while you were caring for your sick child, and now you've left that child with him?
WTF?

cailindana · 12/12/2015 12:36

And it wasn't just a whingey 'I'm not feeling well,' it was proper details to ensure you totally panicked, then didn't answer his phone. That is proper, calculated, vicious cruelty.

I can't understand why you'd be sticking around after that.

cailindana · 12/12/2015 12:38

Oh and then to top it all off he blamed you for it by saying that he did it because you were looking after your sick child instead of running around after him.

What a total and utter fucking prick!!

Original poster

Whatthecrocodilehat · 12/12/2015 12:52

It was a totally thoughtless moment which he regrets doing. I think he thought he'd made it so obviously over the top that I would immediately think it was a joke but a mixture of tiredness and stress skewed my thought process. He is in no way abusive, my previous relationship was very abusivr so I know what to look out for. He's a brilliant dad, brilliant boyfriend but has had one moment of bellendery in the year we've been together (as we all do at times). Of course I am happy to leave my DD with him, he is the only father she has ever known and she loves him. I needed a break today I don't think that's a bad thing. I have a stressful job and a poorly child so one day out child free in 3 months isn't to much to ask.

OP posts:

cailindana · 12/12/2015 12:58

I'm worried that your past abusive relationship is making you minimise this awful behaviour because it's not as awful as your previous partner.

This was not a thoughtless moment. He thought about and made up a really detailed story, while you were totally stressed, as a way of punishing you, then he didn't answer his phone so you would be more worried, then he BLAMED you for it!

cailindana · 12/12/2015 13:03

Plus, he was punishing you for looking after your child, of all things. What on earth could have been going on in his head??

Original poster

Whatthecrocodilehat · 12/12/2015 13:18

Not a lot was going through his head clearly.

OP posts:

TheCarpenter · 12/12/2015 13:20

I suppose you've learned your lesson now OP. Christ, it's not like you weren't responding, you were just distracted.

One red flag in a year is huge. The first year is meant to be all rainbows and kittens.

cailindana · 12/12/2015 13:24

Something must have been going through his head What - that sort of stunt took quite a lot of thought. He described the injuries quite clearly and made sure to ring and then not answer afterwards. Those are the actions of someone who is very very very angry at you. But why was he so angry? And what will he do the next time he's that angry? Will he make up a story about your child?

AnyFucker · 12/12/2015 13:25

Lesson learned eh, OP ?

Make sure you never prioritise your child over your boyfriend again and all will be well.

Original poster

Whatthecrocodilehat · 12/12/2015 13:25

I know, we haven't had time for rainbows and kittens unfortunately! But he has been there every step of the way in what has been the worst year of my life so I think I can find it in me to forgive him this once.

OP posts:

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8