To ask grandparents for our childrens Xmas presents to be under our tree, so that they can open them on Xmas morning

[Kanga59]

Not all of the presents that they have purchased. Just the ones that are on my ds's xmas lists (I have two boys) because these are the ones thatcthey have asked for in their letters to Santa. And I would like the requested presents to be here on Xmas morning as if delivered by Santa.

My OH thinks that his parents would not want to do that because they will like to see the children open their presents when we visit them on Boxing Day.

We haven't asked the grandparents yet as can't decide if it's reasonable to or not. Thoughts?

I think people are really missing the point - the OP wasn't being tight. Her child asked Santa in his letter specifically for the item that the grandparents bought. She was concerned it would dent their belief in the big man if he/she didn't get it from Santa.

Why is the big man more important then the real GP's.

He is obviously not more important than the GPs. But for one day of the year it can be utterly magical and exciting and lovely for little children to think that he is real and that he is bringing them presents. For the other 364 days of the year GPs and mums and dads are not usurped by an imaginary gift- bringer.

It's more that the child's traditional Christmas is more important than the grandparents desire to see the child open presents on a random non-Christmas day day of their choosing.
In most UK families Santa brings presents on Christmas day. In Germany it's Christmas eve.
Presents aren't all about the giver.
Coming downstairs and seeing the presents that santa delivered is for many kids the most exciting bit of Christmas. Making that a token gesture and having presents scattered over days somewhere near Christmas day isn't the same.

In our house, Santa is a glorified delivery person who delivers all the presents, which are all clearly labeled with who has given the gift (credit where credit is due). Sometimes he gets a little confused and drops off some presents at GPs houses, funnily this usually happens when we are going to be seeing them over Christmas. Because Santa is nice he also brings his own gifts for the DCs, a small stocking, a selection box etc.

When my kids are older and have kids I'll be happy to go along with whatever Christmas tradition they have for their kids.

This is why Santa only brings one present (either each or a joint present) Surely if Santa brought everyone ALL the presents his sleigh would be too heavy? That way the giver gets the thanks for their gifts and my dc can give friends/family gifts with no questions asked. Stocking fillers are bought by me but santa fills them and puts them on their beds to make sure they are asleep :)

It also means if they've wrote something I'm unwilling/unable to buy them on their list, then at least they got one thing off Santa. Whereas if I usually bought them everything on the list from him, they'd be disappointed if they didn't get the pug/horse they wanted.

This happens with my kids, and they have never noticed.

This wise old Granny does just that Rebecca!
I mail my gifts to different continents with much love.
Then it is over to my Dds andDdils.
Lovely to see my things wrapped to match 'schemes' or used for different occasions over the season and sometimes even gifted to a little friend who would enjoy something especially!
The jackpot is to sometimes see something opened.

Ah so the people who disagree with you didn't think it through?

And your dh, who was opposed to it, went ahead a did it anyway?

or they might grow up to be entitled little shits who can't accept a "no" from a girl they really, really fancy.

What the actual fuck are you trying to imply?

That if a child gets the presents he asked for on Christmas then he is going to grow up to be a rapist?

Vestal gets carried away when given a chance to demonise males, shush - Fgs, don't mention TRANS!

I think the grandparents should get to see the presents be opened. Could you not say to DC that Santa couldn't fit all the presents under the tree and have left some presents at grandparents house (or something similar)

I do love how some people always think that PPs didn't understand the concept, just because they expressed a different opinion about it!

Of course YABU OP, which I hope you understand by now. Yes, I do understand your post & your issue but this is why you need to think carefully about which gifts you ask GPs to buy. If you need them to be under your tree on Christmas morning then YOU buy them. You cannot pass GP's gifts off as Santa's.

But it would be awful if your ds was disappointed spending all Christmas Day thinking he wasn't going to get one of the main things he really wanted from Santa

^ this and what Nanofone said.

Presents shouldnt come with strings, isnt there enough joy in the giving?

polyhymnia what do you want to do? If it were my family, the presents would be opened on the day you are all together.

the children get to learn how to handle disappointment

Only on a MN christmas thread, does this sentiment play out.

Learning tough life lessons, on christmas day.

What a gift.

Yes I think I would definitely prefer that. But I've read so many posts on here about the crimes and thoughtlessness of MILs I want to try and make sure I don't fall into that category by mishandling the situation!

They will not be delivered by Santa hmm. The unutterable cheek of you to allow your parents to shell out for gifts to put under the tree from Santa.
I've never heard the bloody like!

Oh lord it gets worse

I'm not when it became the norm that giving presents was more about satisfying the giver than the receiver, but going by this thread is clearly is most definitely A Thing now.

^ This a million, its flabbergasting it really is! I just feel so sorry for these poor dc!!

polyhymnia hopefully that's what will happen then . Sounds perfectly reasonable and decent to me!

Why do you feel so sorry for these poor dc, Elf? The poor little buggers who's grandparents just want to share the magic and see their delight in opening their gifts?
Save your pity for the poor little sods who's families don't actually give a shit; there are plenty of them about, unfortunately.

OP YANBU

I know it's sorted now but just wanted to add my support to you. All gifts come from Father Christmas. It's all part of their belief that if they're on the nice list then they may be rewarded. All not part of them relentlessly pestering me for a particular toy

Elf The poster said that children should be taught to master disappointment by the non arrival of longed for presents lest they become rapists!

We have small presents in the stocking from Santa and presents from family.
As we divorced when the children were tiny they spent every other Christmas without me and I never saw them open their presents from me and this side of the family in the alternate year whereas ex DH would pitch up every year for present opening.
Obviously I hate him till the day I die. There would always be more presents in the away year. The children still think that was more fun and they are in their twenties.