Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask grandparents for our childrens Xmas presents to be under our tree, so that they can open them on Xmas morning

193 replies

Kanga59 · 09/12/2015 20:24

Not all of the presents that they have purchased. Just the ones that are on my ds's xmas lists (I have two boys) because these are the ones thatcthey have asked for in their letters to Santa. And I would like the requested presents to be here on Xmas morning as if delivered by Santa.

My OH thinks that his parents would not want to do that because they will like to see the children open their presents when we visit them on Boxing Day.

We haven't asked the grandparents yet as can't decide if it's reasonable to or not. Thoughts?

OP posts:
Smellyoulateralligater · 09/12/2015 21:17

Vestal Confused
A tenuous link between the OPs children receiving all their presents on Christmas morning and growing up to be violent sexual predators Shock

Scarletforya · 09/12/2015 21:19

You can't take presents from a Grandparent and pass it off as a gift from Santa!? Shock That's dishonest and tight.

Santy brings the big ticket items not just one thing. I know you're not materialistic but there's no need to be too puritanical either.

leaningtoweroflego · 09/12/2015 21:20

"it's not about the giver"

It is partly, though.

I know both sets of GPs get a lot of pleasure out of seeing the DC open the presents, and that's lovely, nothing wrong with that.

Why should I deny them that?

The kids still get the presents.

balletgirlmum · 09/12/2015 21:20

zz YANBU.

ALL presents are given in advance to put under the tree on Xmas morning. Similarly we deliver all presents to other family in advance.

I insisted on that from when my two were babies though I did it nicely. I just laid out the expectation eg saying when shall we collect/when will you deliver your Xmas presents & vice versa.

Crabbitface · 09/12/2015 21:22

YANBU. I was going to ask PIL to do the same this year because they got her something from her Santa list. Not because I was being weird but because I am desperately trying to keep Santa alive in a house with a very logical, curious and smart 5 year old. However I've explained to them that Santa only gives you a couple of presents from your list, because he has a lot of children to give to and also because Mummies and Daddies and grannies and grandpas like to give presents too. They are totally cool with that. Incidentally - when I initially broached the subject of pretending their pressie was from santa my ILs were completely cool with that. They were utterly unconcerned with getting credit and were as keen as me to make sure that nothing happens to sow seeds of doubt!!

Redglitter · 09/12/2015 21:22

If all the presents were there on Christmas morning from Santa aren't they going to be expecting presents from their grandparents. I don't understand the whole idea of everything is from Santa. I know my nieces would be confused if I turned up empty handed on Christmas afternoon

usual · 09/12/2015 21:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Yika · 09/12/2015 21:23

I'm also with the minority and think it's nice for the children to get everything on Christmas Day, especially when they are so little and it's all magical :)

The GPs will still be able to enjoy the DGCs' excitement and thrill of their new toys the next days.

I'd ask them honestly how they feel about it, since it doesn't sound as though you're absolutely attached to one outcome or the other.

EponasWildDaughter · 09/12/2015 21:23

Right, so GPs asked to buy from the boys santa wish list.

If i was a GP asking to buy an item from the list i'd expect that present to be opened on xmas morning from 'santa', not from me.

Next year buy the 'santa' presents yourself, OP. No confusion then.

peggyundercrackers · 09/12/2015 21:33

I'm going to go with yanbu - Santa knows where the kids live and brings all their presents and they open them on Christmas Day not the day after of the day after that - that's pointless and misses the point of Christmas Day and getting your presents. If GPs wants to see kids open presents they should go round Christmas morning. Also think it's unfair that kids presents get held back - as someone else said presents should be given without any strings - to me if GPs want to hold them back its for their benefit not the childrens - seems a bit selfish.

Alicewasinwonderland · 09/12/2015 21:35

Do you not get your kids presents from you?

No, and I have never received anything from my parents (officially) until I was old enough to know they were Santa. Everything comes from Father Christmas!

For the little ones, we explain that Santa has delivered in various places, our chimney was too small for everything, and that's why there are some gifts at their grand parents/ or uncles and aunties.

By the time they write a thank you card, they are old enough not to believe in Father Christmas anymore (sadly).

hazeyjane · 09/12/2015 21:42

By the time they write a thank you card, they are old enough not to believe in Father Christmas anymore (sadly).

Blimey, really?!

(mind you we have always been a bit slapdash with the thankyou cards!)

claig · 09/12/2015 21:44

YABU

"My OH thinks that his parents would not want to do that because they will like to see the children open their presents when we visit them on Boxing Day."

I think your OH is right. Let the kids look forward to more presents the next day and let the grandparents enjoy the pleasure of seeing the happy faces. It only comes round once a year.

leaningtoweroflego · 09/12/2015 21:48

"Santy brings the big ticket items not just one thing"

Santa does whatever works in your house, the DC know no different.

In my house it's always been a stocking full of little presents, not the big stuff.

That makes sense to me, but equally my way probably makes no sense to you - and that's fine!

PaulAnkaTheDog · 09/12/2015 21:48

The requested presents

You mean the presents that were politely asked for and the grandparents kindly bought?

Yabu.

balletgirlmum · 09/12/2015 21:48

When my kids believed Santa only provided the stockings. Everything else was bought by us & family, but delivered by Santa.

leaningtoweroflego · 09/12/2015 21:48

"When shall we collect/when will you deliver your Xmas presents & vice versa."

I couldn't bring myself to say that to someone! It feels very grabby to me!

Alicewasinwonderland · 09/12/2015 21:49

hazeyjane

yes, sadly, I think it coincides roughly with the first year of school. When I say write a card, I mean vaguely scribble their name (but oh so proudly Grin )

balletgirlmum · 09/12/2015 21:49

It doesn't sound grabby at all

leaningtoweroflego · 09/12/2015 21:50

"By the time they write a thank you card, they are old enough not to believe in Father Christmas anymore (sadly)."

DS still believes in Santa and he's 7.

Well - whether he really believes or is just playing along is immaterial IMO, we all enjoy it.

balletgirlmum · 09/12/2015 21:51

I said something like do you want to come round on Xmas eve after the kids are asleep to exchange presents or shall we arrange something a few days beforehand.

NoSquirrels · 09/12/2015 21:52

Ah, you see, you need to manage expectations around the writing of "the letter" so you don't have this very issue.

My DC write a letter/wishlist. It goes to the Big Man, obviously. But they know they won't get everything on it, and they know as I have seen it or helped them write it that I will give their wish list as suggestions to other people too. They also see the rest of the family exchanging ideas of presents to buy for each other, and writing lists that you never get everything on! So apart from the "coincidence" that they never get the same gift from FC as from other people, that magically it never doubles up, there's no bother around it. And if they start to question that coincidence then the jig is already up, honestly!

Redglitter · 09/12/2015 21:52

Do all presents really need to be at the children's house for Christmas morning. My nieces get a ton of presents. If they got them all in one go they'd barely register them. Instead they get presents from Santa, their mum & Dad & family friends etc when they get up.

They go to my sister in laws family late morning and get presents from their gran & aunties/uncles on that side

Then we go down Christmas afternoon with our presents. Getting them.in stages definitely works

Youarentkiddingme · 09/12/2015 21:53

Santa does the stocking here. It's usually something small off the list and chocolate, socks etc.

The tree presents are from whoever bought them. Mine to DS go under our tree and then when we all go to my parents for dinner there are millions loads under her tree for mum, dad, me, my siblings and our DC. These are from each other and my aunts/uncles etc.

The grandparents should get to see the children ipen the presents I think. Especially when they live nearby and are being visited on Boxing Day.

Original poster
Kanga59 · 09/12/2015 21:54

I've just asked DH what he thinks we should do and his reply "oh I've already done it. They're bringing the presents on Saturday when they come for lunch". Much ado about nothing then!

OP posts: