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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask grandparents for our childrens Xmas presents to be under our tree, so that they can open them on Xmas morning

193 replies

Kanga59 · 09/12/2015 20:24

Not all of the presents that they have purchased. Just the ones that are on my ds's xmas lists (I have two boys) because these are the ones thatcthey have asked for in their letters to Santa. And I would like the requested presents to be here on Xmas morning as if delivered by Santa.

My OH thinks that his parents would not want to do that because they will like to see the children open their presents when we visit them on Boxing Day.

We haven't asked the grandparents yet as can't decide if it's reasonable to or not. Thoughts?

OP posts:
itsmeohlord · 09/12/2015 20:54

And here, here to VESTALVIRGINS's post above

rollonthesummer · 09/12/2015 20:54

If Your dc wanted certain gifts from Santa then you should have bought them and not asked the GP to.

I totally agree.

Original poster
Kanga59 · 09/12/2015 20:56

I'm glad it's unanimous anyway, thank you everyone.

This is the first year this dilemma has arisen. My children are 2 and 4.5 and it's the first year my oldest has written Santa a letter (we put it in the fireplace and it disappeared overnight, probably sucked up by Santas magic dust but no-one was awake at the moment it disappeared to verify this) and has really understood the whole Santa thing.

I think we will wrap the bike and scooter and the presents that my Dad is giving (he's already dropped them round - obvs doesn't care about seeing them being opened!) as the ones from Santa and then the others from the GPs because Santa TRS to give out 1 or 2 things. Otherwise he might ond er what was the point of the letter and that he should just have written to me!

Will also do them a little sticking each from Santa. Yes that should cover it.

OP posts:
CountryRoadTakeMeHome · 09/12/2015 20:57

Everyone does Christmas so different! My children ask FC for 10 items, he then delivers these along with all other family/friends (obviously requiring a mahoosive sleigh if we all do this Xmas Wink). The only pressies under the tree are from my son to daughter and vise versa and work related.

This is however my family's tradition and DH had to conformXmas Grin. But I've been told my way is weird by a friend! Her way is equally as weird to me.

So to a degree YANBU but I wouldn't ask my/DH parents for any items on THE LIST for this reason Xmas Smile

DinosaursRoar · 09/12/2015 20:57

I now have this, DPIL are spending Christmas day with us, so will get to see DCs open their gifts. They were asking for ideas and really wanted to get something DCs "really want" so gave them a list of ideas, including one particular thing that I said that DC1 had put on his list to Father Christmas (he only added 4 things) so if they weren't buying him that thing, could they let me know and i'll make sure I get it. MIL then told me that she was getting it. All fine. Then I hear that BIL couldn't think of anything so now he's giving DC1 this thing - we're not seeing them until 28th and I really wanted the 4 things DC1 wanted on his list to be there on christmas day, not all from Father Christmas, but to get the 4 things he asked for.

I think I'd be unreasonable to ask for the gift on christmas day. I think I'd be unreasonable to buy DC1 a second one of the same thing. But it means next year, I won't offer a list to PIL of things the DCs actually really, really want, they'll get the "2nd tier" gift list that while the DCs might like, won't get the "oh wow!" reactions PIL want. Sad

In your case, i would just say to PIL did they want to hold all the gifts at theirs for Boxing day or shall you pick up anything they want to be at yours for the DCs to open on Christmas day. They might say no thank you, but at least suggest it...

Original poster
Kanga59 · 09/12/2015 20:58

Floggingmolly what a delightful person you are

OP posts:
EponasWildDaughter · 09/12/2015 21:00

Not all of the presents that they have purchased. Just the ones ... that they have asked for in their letters to Santa. And I would like the requested presents to be here on Xmas morning as if delivered by Santa.

Reading OP again - actually i don't think that's too unreasonable. It's not all the presents from GPs that OP would like bought round, it's the ones the boys are meant to think santa is bringing.

Did the GPs realise they were buying 'santas' presents?

Original poster
Kanga59 · 09/12/2015 21:01

I think I will do that dinosaurs. Funny that we have a similar pickle!

Interesting that the only person who has replied to this thread and is a GP themselves, says that they would be happy to give the gifts in advance.

OP posts:
SaucyJack · 09/12/2015 21:01

Years ago when I were a lassie, people did do it your way OP. We always had all of our presents under the tree and ready and waiting for Xmas morning whether we were seeing out nan or not. It was much better as well- we'd spend weeks prodding them whenever me mum left the room.

I'm not when it became the norm that giving presents was more about satisfying the giver than the receiver, but going by this thread is clearly is most definitely A Thing now.

More's the pity, too.

NotMeNotYouNotAnyone · 09/12/2015 21:02

I actually think yanbu

Presents are for the joy of the person receiving them. Yes it's nice for the giver to see them open it, but it's not the most important thing.

PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange · 09/12/2015 21:02

My children are used to me having deliveries all year. Sometimes I need a delivery to be delivered somewhere else like an Amazon locker or my mums or local pick up point. So I apply the same logic to Santa.

Original poster
Kanga59 · 09/12/2015 21:04

Yes they did. Thy asked what the boys wanted, I Explained about the list and did they want to get something off that. They were happy to. They know we don't want masses of presents. They each spend quite a lot too (Mum £50-£100 so she has got Lego for example) so to NOT get something significant would make the children even more spoilt!

OP posts:
Original poster
Kanga59 · 09/12/2015 21:06

I agree with the two comments above re it's not about the giver. I think they quick-to-flame replies on the first few pages here are perhaps knee jerk reactions without thinking this situation through.

OP posts:
PenelopePitstops · 09/12/2015 21:07

Of course santa doesn't bring all the presents. How do you write thank you letters if kids think they all came from Santa.

All you say is "Santa doesn't have time to get all the presents, so nanny got you one instead". Do you not get your kids presents from you?

leaningtoweroflego · 09/12/2015 21:10

In the kindest possible way, you're over thinking it, honestly! Or, perhaps, thinking like a grown-up!

The kids don't need to receive everything on their lists from Santa. (DS wrote he wanted a phone, computer and an iPad. No way is that going to be what he gets in his stocking!)

DS is 7. We've spent every other year with the ILs or my family. Father Christmas behaves completely differently in each house and DS has never noticed - or cared enough to mention it. In one house, Santa brings little presents in stockings on the beds, but nothing under the tree. In the other house, Santa brings all manner of presents in the stocking and under the tree.

There is so much going on - gazillions of present,s toys to play with, lego to build, food to eat, grandparents to see etc etc, a minor detail about who gave him wat really is irrelevant.

The magic of Santa is that he comes. The presents are a part of Christmas in general, the DS will be thrilled no matter where they came from.

If by any chance, they do say "Santa didn't get me everything" just say something non-committal. Then when they get the presents from your parents, say "clever Sants, he must have known your GPs were going to get you those presents. Only say this if they question it themselves though - and they almost certainly won't.

Just have a lovely day, enjoy the magic of Santa, and DC spending time with grandparents, and stop thinking like a grown-up!

MrsUltra · 09/12/2015 21:10

Presents are for the joy of the person receiving them
precisely!
really yucky to give gifts 'to see their faces' Sad

usual · 09/12/2015 21:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

leaningtoweroflego · 09/12/2015 21:12

It's terribly unfair on the GPs to not be able to see them open the presents, or for the DC not to know the present are from them.

I'd be much more concerned that the DS might think their GPs hadn't bothered to get them a present than that Santa had "only" got x number of presents for them.

You shoulthink yourself lucky they'll get them in the Christmas season at all. My ILS are saving their presents till they see the DC - at Easter!

WhereYouLeftIt · 09/12/2015 21:12

" I would like the requested presents to be here on Xmas morning as if delivered by Santa."
But they're not from Santa - they're from their grandparents.

shutupandshop · 09/12/2015 21:13

I'm going against the grain here. All christmas presents should be were ever dcs wake up christmas morning. stuff gp seeing them open them

mintoil · 09/12/2015 21:13

I think in future OP it might be better to get the GPs to buy something that isn't on the Santa list?

Santa only ever bought sticking presents in our house so it has never been an issue. DC knew Mum and Dad,Aunties, GPs bought the big things, and Santa left them a stocking full of stuff like books, toys, games etc.

Like PP have said, everyone does it differently!!

AtiaoftheJulii · 09/12/2015 21:14

SaucyJack when I was a child, we got presents from people when we saw them. I expect that in fact, then as now, different families did different things! Personally, I think Father Christmas only brings the stocking, rather than traipsing all over the house, and family give gifts in person. And I like Christmas being spread out - my kids have three sets of grandparents too, plus they had a great grandfather for many years, and all on one day would have been crazy.

shutupandshop · 09/12/2015 21:14

Presents are for the joy of the person receiving them
precisely!
really yucky to give gifts 'to see their faces' sad

Could not agree more

usual · 09/12/2015 21:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheSconeOfStone · 09/12/2015 21:16

I think it's fine for them to have the presents under the tree on Christmas day but they should be labelled from the GPs. Why should Santa take the credit? Wouldn't the DCs start to find it odd that the GPs don't buy them presents?

In DH's family Santa delivers all the presents from all the family members but it is clear who paid for them. Santa as glorified delivery bloke. How they got from West Wales to the North Pole is a mystery to me.