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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to plan on walking out of work at 1.30 on Friday?

500 replies

PennyHasNoSurname · 09/12/2015 06:25

Its my daughters Nativity, her first one.

This week sees the implementation of a project at work that I am massively involved in. All.of my week is spent on training and development and we "go live" Friday.

As soon as I found out the Nativity date I spoke with my line manager about getting away at 1.30 on Friday, for it, and offered to return after it til whenever I was needed. Our industry is 365 days a year, 24 hrs a day. I am rostered to work til 3.30pm.

It was not well received, and I have been told "this really isnt the best week for this" and my direct line manager has cancelled a lunch date with her own friends on that day.

AIBU or WIBU to remain insistant that I need to leave at 1.30, and to feel that my reason is more important than a lunch date with a friend?

WWYD? Would you leave?

Fwiw I would not be leaving the place understaffed, I am surplus this week as dedicated solely to the new project. We also have tech support in all week and they are there Fri purely for troubleshooting after going live.

OP posts:

SuburbanRhonda · 11/12/2015 18:21

And as an adult, you live with that because you know that sometimes, you just can't have everything you want because there are other people and other priorities to consider.

I'd be surprised if anyone truly looked back after decades and still felt disappointed about missing a school nativity.

SquinkiesRule · 11/12/2015 19:16

I was in the nativity every year in infant school. I have no memory of any of them, only one memory of wearing a bedsheet and being every annoyed that people would know it was a stripey sheet. Mum went to all of them, so she says I wouldn't know.
Missing one year is not a huge deal in the great scheme of life.
I missed Dd's last year for work, and will miss again this year. Off duty is done nearly two months ahead, so unless the school could give dates earlier I took a chance on not being there.
Such is life.

KERALA1 · 11/12/2015 19:18

Depends on the nativity. The first 2 years each class are all one character they belt out a song and that's it. In year 2 they have proper parts. Dd was Mary - this is the last nativity play any child of mine will ever be in. I wouldn't have missed it for anything.

2coldinscotland · 11/12/2015 20:33

A nativity is important & would be a pity if you missed it especially the first one. Another mum waving just isnt the same. If you want to go and youre covered go and make up the time.

NotEnoughTime · 11/12/2015 21:13

Did you manage to get to the Nativity Penny? (hope you aren't still at work now)

CandyCaneCottage · 11/12/2015 21:36

2cold

But the DH is there, that should be just as good.

Donthate · 11/12/2015 21:48

I hope you managed to go

Original poster

PennyHasNoSurname · 11/12/2015 22:15

Hi just had chamce to catch up.now.

I was allowed to go!!Whoop!!!!

Poor dd got upset at it all (first time doing anything like this), and ended up sat on my knee watching the remainder. I am still glad we both managed to be there for her.

I called worl straight after to say I was on my way back in, and was told not to worry and stay home. I am off the weekend so its worked our exceedingly well!

Took dd, dh and the baby out for dinner too as a little treat.

All is well, and ive since spoken to the tech support who was on site (to say thanks and bye etc), who praised all the hard work put in and to say we are doing really well.

OP posts:

Whaleshark · 11/12/2015 22:36

Brilliant, glad to see it all worked out!

Floggingmolly · 11/12/2015 22:48

All that angst and she spent it sitting on your knee...

NotEnoughTime · 11/12/2015 22:54

That's great Penny

I love a happy ending [shmuck emoticon]

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 11/12/2015 23:03

Glad you managed to make it and that your launch went well too

Original poster

PennyHasNoSurname · 11/12/2015 23:04

I know flogging but im happy my knee was there for her to sit on. Had I not gone Id have felt guilty that the tears were because I wasnt there. Had neither dh and I been there those tears may have been because neither of us were there.

As it was she was iverwhelmed by it all, the TAs couldnt comfort her, so she came and sat with me. Thankfully I was there for her.

OP posts:

midsummabreak · 11/12/2015 23:36

To all those who said it couldn't/shouldn't be done. It can and it did. Merry Christmas to all

PoorFannyRobin · 12/12/2015 06:02

Great outcome! Merry Christmas!

DeoGratias · 12/12/2015 08:55

I'm glad you were able to be there.A lot of time work thinks people haev to be present when they don't or they can go back later or deal with something by email.

Just wait until they don't want you there! One of my teenagers decides which events he's happy for me to be at - I went to the school concert where he was playing the trumpet in a Vivaldi trumpet concerto which was wonderful to watch (and as I play the piano and his brother the trumpet we had spent a lot of time very enjoyably practising it at home) and thankfully the school concert was in the evening. Other events like the jazz band he is happy I don't go probably because he knows they are not so much my thing although I would be more than happy to go. I felt this year's carol service was the end of an era almost - last 5th child's almost last one (one next year too though) . The first I went to was 28 years ago at my daughter's first nativity play. So I have so far had 28 years of consecutive school Christmas events for my children with another year to go.

LynetteScavo · 12/12/2015 09:03

Yay! So glad you got to go. Even though she only sat on your knee, you were there for her.

I asked DH under what circumstances he wouldn't let someone go to a Rec' nativity and he said "None. Nothing at work would ever be more important." He also said the last time he had to ask for time off to do something with one of the DC he was told "We owe you a lot more than you owe us" so I guess asking for time off doesn't always demonstrate a poor work ethic.

OP, go back to work on Monday and enjoy your job and give them the best of you with no resentment.

NotEnoughTime · 12/12/2015 09:21

I like the sound of your DH Lynette any jobs going at his company?

2rebecca · 12/12/2015 09:35

Getting time off for occasional afternoons is very job dependent though especially at this time of year when people off sick and on annual leave. Glad it worked out here but I dont think employers are necessarily bad employers for saying no. It depends how much you are needed on that particular day

Krampus · 12/12/2015 09:39

Excellent, glad it all worked out.

MrsTrentReznor · 12/12/2015 11:33

I'm so glad you got there.
I think it's an extremely important time. My Mum didn't attend anything. Nativity, sports day, concerts. I still resent it and I'm in my 30s!

MiscellaneousAssortment · 13/12/2015 07:46

Well I'm glad you got there.

NoSquirrels · 13/12/2015 22:04

Happy ending - Yay!

Drew64 · 14/12/2015 10:01

I'm really glad you managed to go Penny.

Daisysbear · 14/12/2015 11:22

"I asked DH under what circumstances he wouldn't let someone go to a Rec' nativity and he said "None. Nothing at work would ever be more important."

Maybe not more important to the individual, but sometimes there are things going on in a workplace where a lot of people and the success of a project would suffer if key members of staff were allowed time off to go to nativity plays, regardless of what was happening. Maybe your husband's workplace doesn't have these type of situations, but a lot of organisations do.

OP, glad you got to go.

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