Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 ··· 19 20

Original poster

to plan on walking out of work at 1.30 on Friday?

500 replies

PennyHasNoSurname · 09/12/2015 06:25

Its my daughters Nativity, her first one.

This week sees the implementation of a project at work that I am massively involved in. All.of my week is spent on training and development and we "go live" Friday.

As soon as I found out the Nativity date I spoke with my line manager about getting away at 1.30 on Friday, for it, and offered to return after it til whenever I was needed. Our industry is 365 days a year, 24 hrs a day. I am rostered to work til 3.30pm.

It was not well received, and I have been told "this really isnt the best week for this" and my direct line manager has cancelled a lunch date with her own friends on that day.

AIBU or WIBU to remain insistant that I need to leave at 1.30, and to feel that my reason is more important than a lunch date with a friend?

WWYD? Would you leave?

Fwiw I would not be leaving the place understaffed, I am surplus this week as dedicated solely to the new project. We also have tech support in all week and they are there Fri purely for troubleshooting after going live.

OP posts:

Snoopadoop · 09/12/2015 07:03

IMO opinion you have given everyone notice and you are entitled to the time off. You cannot help the timing of this. Unless the big project is a world first surgical procedure I'd say that toucans entitled and you have given notice and expect to be at her nativity. Having said that your employers won't forget this and you may experience issues because of this in the future (however unfair that is often the reality).

Snoopadoop · 09/12/2015 07:03

Substitute toucans for you are!

Sirzy · 09/12/2015 07:05

I don't think just because you have told your boss you are taking time off that means you are entitled to it! Could create chaos in workplaces if everyone took that approach.

ArmchairTraveller · 09/12/2015 07:06

Yes, I was upset about missing all my children's school events too, most teachers would be. But sometimes the job you have means that you can't do everything you want to.
Let us know what happens, OP.

fastdaytears · 09/12/2015 07:07

IMO opinion you have given everyone notice and you are entitled to the time off

OP is entitled to take annual leave and to state her preference for when, but if her request doesn't fit with the workplace requirements she'll be told no and then she very much is not entitled just to leave anyway.

OP unless you really don't need/like this job, you need to miss the nativity. There must be other family members who can go?

BondJayneBond · 09/12/2015 07:08

Depends how much you value your job.

If you walk out without your manager's permission and get caught, then you're looking at misconduct charges and worst case losing your job over it.

So, is your daughter's first nativity play worth losing your job over?

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeG0es · 09/12/2015 07:08

I would ask again but if the answer is still no I wouldn't go, sorry. I used to have a job where this sort of thing happened and got my parents yo go instead. They don't stsrt having evening performances at my DCs school till KS2 but they did have two performances plus dress rehearsal that you could go to, which helped.

rhodes2015 · 09/12/2015 07:08

can you not go over direct line managers head?
we had sap implementation this time last year and on the day it went live we were mainly standing around waiting while the tech people checked things? is it like that ....a new company system? cant you have it as your (extended) lunch break? i would dig your heals in! x

winterswan · 09/12/2015 07:10

I think it's up to your manager - sorry

ShowMeTheWonder · 09/12/2015 07:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HearTheThunderRoar · 09/12/2015 07:12

Sometimes you will miss plays, concerts etc but this is one of the things that you have to live with if your a working parent.

I have missed quite a few things over the years of DD's as I work ft. It is hard but as time goes by it gets easier and DD wasn't as bothered about me missing it.

If they have given annual leave and are only making you feel guilty, then go but if they haven't, stay at work, it's not worth the risk of losing your job.

GnomeDePlume · 09/12/2015 07:13

Having been part of a number of implementation projects my experience of go-lives is that they can be as smooth as ice or go absolutely arse up. Either way if you had just walked out you would be perceived as having let your team down.

It is possible that come the time that your manager will say you can go. But without that permission? Seriously unprofessional.

wigglesrock · 09/12/2015 07:14

No, I wouldn't leave - its your job, timing is unfortunate but that happens. I know retail workers,nurses, police, carers, teachers, teaching assistants who have all missed nativities/ concerts/ sports days. The vast majority of workers can't just decide to leave work for a bit because they'd rather be somewhere else.

witsender · 09/12/2015 07:16

Can her dad or a grandparent be there instead?

Floisme · 09/12/2015 07:18

You've not mentioned your colleagues. I assume they're the ones who would have to step up for you if something does go wrong in your absence. Have you asked them if they mind? School is a long haul and you're going to need their co-operation many, many times over the coming years.

HackerFucker22 · 09/12/2015 07:18

Can you not go, come back and work later than 3.30 to make up the time?

Enjolrass · 09/12/2015 07:18

IMO opinion you have given everyone notice and you are entitled to the time off.

Of course! If you tell your manager you are having time off they have to oblige.

The issue is the OP isn't surplus staff. She is there because her project goes live. She may not be leaving the office understaffed, but she is there for the project so depends what happens with that.

BondJayneBond · 09/12/2015 07:22

IMO opinion you have given everyone notice and you are entitled to the time off

This kind of thinking would be wrong in every job I've ever had.
You're entitled to ask for time off. Employers are not required to give employees time off if they feel this will compromise workplace requirements (there's a few exceptions where employers have to allow time off, but attending school plays isn't one of these).
Going off when a manager's refused consent would count as misconduct, and potentially a formal disciplinary issue, in every job I've had.

Goingtobeawesome · 09/12/2015 07:23

Did you not get the date in advance to book the afternoon off?

I've been to everything my kids have ever done and I really feel for the kids who don't have someone there who look upset.

Don't risk your job but do ask again. I hope you are able to go.

Goingtobeawesome · 09/12/2015 07:24

Not once did anyone come to anything school put on but then I lived with people who didn't give a shit. That is why I got to everything.

Snoopadoop · 09/12/2015 07:26

As I said 'IMO'. Ultimately employers have to have a reason to refuse leave, and the OP has asked for 2 hours. 2 hours. If the employees cannot spare her for 2 hours there is something seriously wrong. People need that work life balance. Employers need to realise that they don't always come first and 2 hours out of the day from your annual leave entitlement is not an unreasonable request.

But hey just my opinion. :)

Perfectlypurple · 09/12/2015 07:26

Ywbu to do this. Your manager has cancelled their plans so they are not asking staff to do something they wouldn't. You are entitled to leave but not entitled to say when. Prepare to be disciplined if you do this.

PunkrockerGirl · 09/12/2015 07:28

There must be other family members who can go?

Not necessarily.

DragonRojo · 09/12/2015 07:30

It would look very unprofessional, but it depends on how much you value your job and your colleagues' opinion. Over the years, I have attended a few Nativities, concerts, etc at school, but I have probably missed 80% of them. Unless you are a SAHP, that is the way it goes and children learn to live with it

Krampus · 09/12/2015 07:31

Sometimes you have to miss school plays.

Ywbu to walk out when you haven't been given the green light after asking, you would find yourself in a hr or your contract terminated. Is it possible to approach your manager again and negotiate that if it gets to point and it's clear that you're not needed then you can go but any hint of a problem you will stay.

It would depend on what stage the project is at. New system just gone live or its been gong a while and it appears to be chugging away with no new major steps or firsts about to happen.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 ··· 19 20