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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To tell someone about this 11yo girl's YouTube videos?

249 replies

ScottishGlen · 05/12/2015 23:21

My dd(11-yr6) told me today about a classmate of hers who puts videos on YouTube including showing off her gymnastics skills in her bedroom. Dd wasn't remotely concerned- just told me about the gymnastic because she is interested. I felt a bit uncomfortable about it so searched using the girl's name and surname on YouTube this evening. A whole series of videos from the girl's bedroom came up. All about gymnastics, school, dancing etc. Generally pretty innocent stuff.
However in one of them she is wearing only her swimming costume and bending, stretching and doing the splits right in front of the camera. In another clip she is proudly showing off a pen she won at school, complete with school name and logo. I feel worried that her clips can be accessed by anyone, have her bending and stretching without much on, have her full name on and her school.
What should I do? I only know mum by sight ( and she has a reputation for being a bit fierce) so I don't think I'd be comfortable talking to her. Talk to the girl's class teacher maybe? (She and dd are in the same class) Do nothing and keep my nose out?
I'm also in a dilemma about my DD. She clearly sees no problem with this girl prancing around on YouTube with very little on which worries me. If she knows I have "interfered" by telling someone about these clips she will be mortified and probably less likely to talk to me about things in the future.
Sorry for the long post. Advice appreciated please wise Mumsnetters.

OP posts:

Kryptonite · 06/12/2015 22:03

Please explain how a low life in Colorado watching the video causes harm to the child

By identifying herself by name and school! Would you be comfortable with a great big sign over her head saying "THIS IS ME, I LIVE AT SO AND SO HOUSE IN SO AND SO STREET" and broadcasting it literally to the whole world?!
Good grief, does this really have to be explained?!
What's your name and where do you live? Happy to tell all of Mumsnet? No? Thought not.
Why is it any difference when it's a vulnerable child on Youtube instead of a grown up Mumsnetter?

bigbuttons · 06/12/2015 22:03

Ok, this is my last comment before I hit the sack . A child putting up pictures of herself on the Internet with no privacy settings, identifying herself and her school is vulnerable. She is even more vulnerable if she is doing gymnastic poses in a leotard. This is not the same as a grown woman choosing to walk down the street in a mini skirt or a group of girls doing gymnastics in a class in a gym.
Again I suggest you watch the ceop videos to help you understand possible consequences.

Brioche201 · 06/12/2015 22:11

I think we are all in agreement about the privacy settings.It is the implication that doing gymnastics in a leotard on the internet is somehow inappropriate that we have a problem with.

bigbuttons · 06/12/2015 22:14

I agree that it's not at all inappropriate if there are privacy settings. Sadly in this case there weren't. It is a sad fact that children have to learn to protect themselves.

bigbuttons · 06/12/2015 22:15

Now I am going to bed!

unlucky83 · 06/12/2015 22:18

Not making any comment on the leotard etc angle but OP tell the school they will know what the best course of action is and can advise the parent/children on internet safety.
I had a similar concern about a child who was a few years younger. I was told that they had a video on youtube by one of my DCs - found that they actually had a couple - they were harmless enough but it was mainly the child face on talking to the camera, obviously in their bedroom on their own (except at one point a younger sibling comes in and they say -this is X - come here X and say hi to the camera.) The account was in the child's real (not common) name and in it they said how old they were -in one they were wearing school uniform but the logo wasn't identifiable....
I actually mentioned it to a friend who is a primary teacher and they told me to tell the school, they have a child protection officer who would look into it... so I did. I never heard any more but the videos have gone...and they did do an internet safety talk (again) soon after ...
No matter what anyone thinks that child is open to grooming -and their you tube account is likely linked to their email address and if they are making videos on their own how likely is it that their parent is checking their email?

christinarossetti · 06/12/2015 22:19

brioche, my comment that you quote isn't the same thing as saying that 'women should not wear short skirts because they are inviting rape.' It's such a nonsensical comparison to make that I can't even be bothered to be offended.

It honestly seems that you can't grasp the difference between the child's completely innocent intentions in posting, and how her actions may be interpreted by anyone of millions of people who can access these videos online (and would be able to identify her due to the information that she has given, and which OP flagged up in her first post), and I don't know how I can explain it any more clearly.

atreya · 06/12/2015 22:25

She is even more vulnerable if she is doing gymnastic poses in a leotard.

Gymnastic poses Do go away with language like that. I resisted an ODFOD there

The privacy issue, and the school name being revealed (we don't know if the parents are supervising or aware, the OP certainly doesn't) needs addressing. Few would argue against that. But please don't bring a subject, a sport, you obviously know nothing about into it. Many very popular young gymnasts on you tube, some reveal names/locations, some don't, but all of those I know of have some form of parental supervision.

And a group of gymnasts in a gym is the very same as the single gymnast doing gym exercises at home, they're just not (in your example at least) sharing on the internet. Great examples

atreya · 06/12/2015 22:29

I think we are all in agreement about the privacy settings.It is the implication that doing gymnastics in a leotard on the internet is somehow inappropriate that we have a problem with.

Oh yes. I think this has been said, in many different ways, by many different posters now.

OnceUponADream · 06/12/2015 22:30

I can't believe how many people on this thread are outraged by the OP being concerned about the gymnastics. I don't have children interested in gymnastics so I have no reason to know that these videos are a common occurance. So it stands to reason that if my child then told me their friend made these videos that I would be alarmed. How would I know that this was a common activity?? I'd have to Google, or YouTube it. And what is creepier...googling if young girls doing gymnastics videos is a common thing, or watching children's friends video channel to check the content?? Definitely the googling!! Absolutely nothing wrong with checking up on info provided by children when it pertains to something you don't know about!!! And following on from that.....if I don't know much about gymnastics then I might just find the attire and movements a little surprising or extreme. Again....what's creepier googling to see if other kids are wearing the same or checking on mumsnet to get advice?? Yep. Thought so. And finally....as someone who had a child snatched from their nursery when they were a child, before the days of the internet made it even easier......posting personal details is definitely a big deal!!!!!!!

Op...you've done nothing wrong. I hope the quiet word with the teacher went well and the girl gets appropriate safety talks.

OnceUponADream · 06/12/2015 22:32

For the record....I'd be alarmed about an 11yr old posting videos online full stop. Not gymnastic videos.

LyndaNotLinda · 06/12/2015 22:35

All of them you know have some form of parental supervision, atreya. I think you've just proved AF's point there. Either a) this girl doesn't have parental supervision or b) it's inadequate.

atreya · 06/12/2015 22:39

I don't have children interested in gymnastics so I have no reason to know that these videos are a common occurance.

Yes, they are a common occurrence. Very much so. One of the popular channels of young gymnasts had received over 30 million views at one time (more now of course). Though If you don't know much about a subject (many here don't seem to know much about gym) it's probably best not to have a wild stab at talking about it using inappropriate and pejorative language.

FrankSpencer · 06/12/2015 22:41

These concerns are very sadly valid. A previous poster even attested to her own experience with Child Protection training and confirmed these kinds of situations and scenarios to be very real. I don't recall that posters input and experiances being torn to shreds though.

Fairenuff · 06/12/2015 22:49

I'm not surprised that young girls in leotards get a lot of views. Sadly, although we all hate the thought of it, these images arebe popular with those people who view children as sexual beings as well, of course, as the innocent gymnastics enthusiasts.

I do think care has to be taken when posting online, especially one child in their bedroom as opposed to a group at a competiton. It's more intimate being in a private setting. And, yes, a young person could be harmed by inappropriate comments from someone overseas if they don't have privacy settings.

Brioche201 · 06/12/2015 22:52

if I don't know much about gymnastics then I might just find the attire and movements a little surprising or extreme

Exactly.And we are telling you that it is not surprising or/extreme, but the likes of AF and Bigbottoms won't have it and insist we are on a wind up

Brioche201 · 06/12/2015 22:53

Big Buttons

Original poster

ScottishGlen · 06/12/2015 22:54

There are some people contributing to this thread who seem to have forgotten that my concern is about an INNOCENT, VULNERABLE LITTLE GIRL (sorry to shout but some people don't seem to have heard me)

It's not about gymnastics, feminism, individual over-inflated egos, whether or not me or my husband are a bit weird etc etc. I asked for advice about what I should do in a situation that concerned me.

Thanks again to those posters who can see why I was concerned and offered sensible advice and thoughts

OP posts:

Brioche201 · 06/12/2015 23:01

Op I don't think anybody thinks you or your DH are weird, I really hope you have not drawn that conclusion!
i hope this thread has been useful to you in validating your concerns about this girls's privacy and dispelling your fears about doing gymnastics in a leotard on Youtube.

atreya · 06/12/2015 23:01

I'm not surprised that young girls in leotards get a lot of views.

Nothing to do with the leotards. Most people don't think like that. Yes they are, mainly with young children, girls and boys, who are learning gymnastics and want to get their splits/over splits, want to learn how to do a walkover, aerial cartwheel etc etc. It's a very popular sport. There are waiting lists for most gym clubs.

atreya · 06/12/2015 23:04

Ah the OP resurfaces. Why did gymnastics alone (no privacy issues known before you searched) make you feel so uncomfortable you decided to search online for a girl from your daughter's school? You never did say. I'm guessing that's what you can't explain to the parents also.

Brioche201 · 06/12/2015 23:04

What's the problem with filming in their bedroom? i would have thought that was a lot safer than at a named gym.

atreya · 06/12/2015 23:06

Yes, I hope you've been educated on use of appropriate language when discussing a gymnast and gymnastics, and a young girl, OP . Yours (pejorative and sexual) was not.

Fairenuff · 06/12/2015 23:10

Most people don't think like that

But we're not talking about most people are we? We're talking about paedophiles.

And now it's got to the point where we are just talking in circles. I think you either get it or you don't.

OP, I get what you mean and I do think that you had the child's best interests at heart. This is what safeguarding is all about. All the pieces of the jigsaw can come together to show a bigger picture sometimes. And sometimes it's nothing. It doesn't hurt to err on the side of caution.

Just let the school have the website details and they'll take it off your hands. They won't need to name names.

Brioche201 · 06/12/2015 23:16

So fairenuff
do you think children should have to modify the correct sports attire incase paedophiles have sexual thoughts about them?
and if so, how is this different to women covering their hair,legs,faces so that men cannot lust after them?

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