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AIBU?

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Original poster

To tell someone about this 11yo girl's YouTube videos?

249 replies

ScottishGlen · 05/12/2015 23:21

My dd(11-yr6) told me today about a classmate of hers who puts videos on YouTube including showing off her gymnastics skills in her bedroom. Dd wasn't remotely concerned- just told me about the gymnastic because she is interested. I felt a bit uncomfortable about it so searched using the girl's name and surname on YouTube this evening. A whole series of videos from the girl's bedroom came up. All about gymnastics, school, dancing etc. Generally pretty innocent stuff.
However in one of them she is wearing only her swimming costume and bending, stretching and doing the splits right in front of the camera. In another clip she is proudly showing off a pen she won at school, complete with school name and logo. I feel worried that her clips can be accessed by anyone, have her bending and stretching without much on, have her full name on and her school.
What should I do? I only know mum by sight ( and she has a reputation for being a bit fierce) so I don't think I'd be comfortable talking to her. Talk to the girl's class teacher maybe? (She and dd are in the same class) Do nothing and keep my nose out?
I'm also in a dilemma about my DD. She clearly sees no problem with this girl prancing around on YouTube with very little on which worries me. If she knows I have "interfered" by telling someone about these clips she will be mortified and probably less likely to talk to me about things in the future.
Sorry for the long post. Advice appreciated please wise Mumsnetters.

OP posts:
Fairenuff · 06/12/2015 12:08

not making the connection that it could be seen as sexual by pedophiles

That's the point of this thread though. That is why adults have to help to protect these innocent youngsters by both teaching and practising safety precautions.

The parents should be told (preferably via school) that the child is putting herself at risk of identification and the child should be told (preferably by the parent) to not upload anything without parental permission.

atreya · 06/12/2015 12:09

To whoever mentioned. There are those young gymnast videos which are very identifiable, with names and locations not concealed, but those (that I know of) are the videos with hundreds of thousands of views and appear to be well monitored and supervised by the parents.

Salmotrutta · 06/12/2015 12:13

I can't believe there are people jumping all over the OP for expressing concern about this child's videos.

It is obvious that she is worrying about the girls online safety - but hey, just pile in and tell her off for using the phrase "prancing around" - that's clearly the really important issue her. Hmm

OP - take the very sound advice of people telling you to flag it quietly with the school or call CEOP. They will not think you are wasting their time.

IguanaTail · 06/12/2015 12:14

It's the fact she is identifiable with name and school and her parents won't be aware. It doesn't take much to outwit an 11-year-old.

Tell the school. They can inform her parents and they can decide what they think is fine and what is not.

Brioche201 · 06/12/2015 12:20

hey, just pile in and tell her off for using the phrase "prancing around" - that's clearly the really important issue

If you read her Op that is her main worry.I would just have a word with her mum about revealing her school and name.I don't really think Youtube is as bad because you can't private chat I don't think?

atreya · 06/12/2015 12:24

just pile in and tell her off for using the phrase "prancing around"

It was important that she separate the the privacy and online safety, the real issue from the gymnastics sport and its appropriate attire, i.e. leotards.
It wasn't just the term 'prancing around' to describe gym, not at all, it was also describing gym as 'bending and stretching with not much on'. Etc etc And the OP's motivation for searching the girl out online, before any privacy issues known, was just because she felt 'uncomfortable' about gymnastics videos. Hmm

DingbatsFur · 06/12/2015 12:28

The girl can resolve it by changing the privacy settings on the youtube channel so they are not publicly searchable.
I do think the op is not being over the top. She is right to be concerned. You don't know who is watching the video and what they are doing with the information. For that matter, does she want these videos circulating in 15 years times?

merrymouse · 06/12/2015 12:30

I don't really think Youtube is as bad because you can't private chat I don't think?

You can certainly get enough details from an identifying YouTube video to contact somebody on and off line outside youtube.

Birdsgottafly · 06/12/2015 12:30

"However, lack of clothing and splits, strutting in front of camera have made me uncomfortable.""

It's using words like "strutting and prancing" that annoyed a few people, myself included.

It's very sad that anyone feels uncomfortable watching an eleven year old do gymnastics.

We've sexualised the female body that much that watching any female form perform physical movements, is becoming a no no.

It's s disgusting way to describe an eleven year olds movements.

Girls and young women should be able to enjoy what their bodies can do, without aspersions being cast.

I agree with reporting the identification of what school she attends, to the school.

They can then have another lesson on staying safe online.

merrymouse · 06/12/2015 12:35

'bending and stretching with not much on'

Obviously haven't seen the video, but If it was random bending and stretching in a swimsuit rather than the standard content of a gymnastics video it might have been a bit inappropriate.

Original poster
ScottishGlen · 06/12/2015 12:39

I'm off now. This thread has taken an unpleasant turn that I wasn't expecting and I'm starting to feel like some kind of weirdo for having concerns about a child and checking out the situation on Youtube. I am absolutely not some kind of stalker or weirdo, as has been openly suggested.
I will raise concerns with the school asap.

OP posts:
merrymouse · 06/12/2015 12:40

So while I think gymnastics videos are great, I wouldn't say that e.g. any random video that my 9 year old might make of her being Taylor Swift in her bedroom would be appropriate content for YouTube, even though there may be some very talented 9 year olds making videos of themselves performing Taylor Swift songs that I think are perfectly fine.

DeoGratias · 06/12/2015 13:40

I would leave well alone.

atreya · 06/12/2015 14:16

OP You were initially 'uncomfortable' about the very idea of your daughter's friend having made gymnastics videos (no privacy or other concerns then). So much so you actually searched for your daughter's friend online, on the basis of gymnastics. Who does that!

Yes, by all means raise your privacy concerns with the school and/or parents, but do try to have a rethink on how you talk about young gymnasts and their attire and their sport. I find it vastly inappropriate the language you've used.

Brioche201 · 06/12/2015 15:49

A gymnastics leotard covers everything it needs to cover.Girls, women, anyone, should not restrict their activities for fear a man might be ogling them.We are then on the slippery slope down towards headscarves and burqas

bigbuttons · 06/12/2015 18:35

There are some bloody dense or simply bloody minded people on here today. The issue is about internet safety not fucking leotards.
Sorry OP, at least you tried.
Hope you get some joy with the school.

Brioche201 · 06/12/2015 19:24

The op was all about leotatd-strutting big buttons she has since, in the face of contrary opinions , changed her focus to 'privacy' issues.

atreya · 06/12/2015 20:28

Try reading the whole thread before commenting, Bigbuttons

The issue is about internet safety not fucking leotards.

Tell that to the OP. Trying to get people to separate the two (the gym and internet privacy) has been quite a task. The inappropriate language the OP used to describe a young gymnast and her attire was quite shocking. I see a gymnast in a leotard, doing gymnastics, and that's all I see. OP saw a person 'without much on', 'swimsuit' (leotard, then) 'prancing and bending'. She took the trouble to search her daughter's friend out online after hearing about the gymnastic videos, with no privacy or safety issues to suspect. Then she watched all the videos... Hmm

The privacy and safety issue is the only important thing here. I would tell the parents first, before the school (to give them the option to change settings and remove identifying videos and information), but a bit tricky for the OP to explain what she was doing looking up their daughter in the first place...

bigbuttons · 06/12/2015 20:31

I have read the thread. It is patently clear that the op is about internet safety. You would have to be actually looking for a fight to construe otherwise.

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 06/12/2015 20:33

Blimey some people really are as thick as two short planks
Except that's unfair to planks.

christinarossetti · 06/12/2015 20:36

I don't think it's tricky for OP to explain why she was looking up this girl at all, is it?

"My dd said that her 11 year old friend uploaded videos of herself doing gymnastics in her room to YouTube. I felt a bit worried about this, so I typed in her name and found videos of her wearing something like a swimming costume and, in one of them, showing a pen with her full name and school on it. I don't think that this is appropriate and I'm concerned that this girl and my dd are too innocent to understand the potential danger."

And I think OP's observations about how gymnastics may be interpreted ie young girls 'prancing about' actually gives an insight into how these videos might be interpreted by others tbh.

Fairenuff · 06/12/2015 20:38

So atreya you are suggesting that OP was perving on the child are you? Why not just come out and say it instead of snidy insinuations?

atreya · 06/12/2015 20:42

No, I don't see why somebody would be 'worried' about gymnastic videos alone. There are literally thousands of them, and they're very popular with children. Those observations about gymnastics and leotards were the OP's own, not 'how they might be interpreted'.

Fairenuff · 06/12/2015 20:45

So what did you mean by this comment '...Then she watched all the videos... Hmm'?

AnyFucker · 06/12/2015 20:45

OP's worry was about how they might be interpreted and I don't think her concerns are unfounded

you are determined to paint her as a weirdo aren't you, atreya ?

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