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AIBU?

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Original poster

To tell someone about this 11yo girl's YouTube videos?

249 replies

ScottishGlen · 05/12/2015 23:21

My dd(11-yr6) told me today about a classmate of hers who puts videos on YouTube including showing off her gymnastics skills in her bedroom. Dd wasn't remotely concerned- just told me about the gymnastic because she is interested. I felt a bit uncomfortable about it so searched using the girl's name and surname on YouTube this evening. A whole series of videos from the girl's bedroom came up. All about gymnastics, school, dancing etc. Generally pretty innocent stuff.
However in one of them she is wearing only her swimming costume and bending, stretching and doing the splits right in front of the camera. In another clip she is proudly showing off a pen she won at school, complete with school name and logo. I feel worried that her clips can be accessed by anyone, have her bending and stretching without much on, have her full name on and her school.
What should I do? I only know mum by sight ( and she has a reputation for being a bit fierce) so I don't think I'd be comfortable talking to her. Talk to the girl's class teacher maybe? (She and dd are in the same class) Do nothing and keep my nose out?
I'm also in a dilemma about my DD. She clearly sees no problem with this girl prancing around on YouTube with very little on which worries me. If she knows I have "interfered" by telling someone about these clips she will be mortified and probably less likely to talk to me about things in the future.
Sorry for the long post. Advice appreciated please wise Mumsnetters.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 06/12/2015 00:14

CEOPSARE are not the police

VestalVirgin · 06/12/2015 00:15

She clearly sees no problem with this girl prancing around on YouTube with very little on which worries me

I would be more concerned if your daughter, at age 11, was aware of the existence of pedophile perverts and/or looked at her friends with male gaze.

It is normal for a happy, carefree child to not see a problem with lack of clothes in other children.

Maybe you could warn the mother that the girl shouldn't make her real name, etc, public. Other than that, I really don't see a concern.

atreya · 06/12/2015 00:16

She looked at the videos out of concern. What are you insinuating ?

Concern? What would be concerning about putting gym skills on You tube? It's hardly unusual.

JohnCusacksWife · 06/12/2015 00:17

Well, someone on here once told me it was inappropriate for my child to be in YouTube videos reviewing books. Her reviews are in voiceover form and don't show her face or any other identifying features. Yet that was still deemed by some as somehow being inappropriate. So no - I don't agree that one person thinking something is "weird" makes it so.

AnyFucker · 06/12/2015 00:17

To signpost is to guide someone as to their next step, if any

If CEOPS thought the videos were not open to exploitation by some of the weirdos on the wide interweb then fair enough

I would like a professional opinion though...isn't that what they are there for (and it has been my experience that it actually is)

JohnCusacksWife · 06/12/2015 00:18

Semantics, AF. They're parts of the National Crime Agency.

Katiekatiekatiekay · 06/12/2015 00:19

signpost op means to point the original poster in a direction

Whether it makes you feel uncomfortable or not it is very common on YouTube, look up gymnastics there are thousands the same. music videos also (sia?)

Fairenuff · 06/12/2015 00:20

Signpost just means to pont someone in the right direction. So if there no concern over the video they would just say so. It doesn't hurt to ask.

JohnCusacksWife · 06/12/2015 00:20

And while the resources of CEOPS are diverted to look at someone doing the splits they might not be able to look at some truly abusive or exploitative stuff.

AnyFucker · 06/12/2015 00:21

You are obviously projecting then John

Because one poster told you that a voice was inappropriate you feel obliged to minimise leotard shots of a pubescent girl

There is a minority chunk of society that would pay rather too much attention to those, and if I was that girl's mother would want to know

Katiekatiekatiekay · 06/12/2015 00:22

** I would not let my daughter do it but that's because I don't think a child is old enough to make decisions about social/public media and consequences if any for the future

JohnCusacksWife · 06/12/2015 00:23

No projection here, AF. Just a despair that people are unable to differentiate between absolutely normal activities and exploitative inappropriate videos.

AnyFucker · 06/12/2015 00:26

I despair about it too, John

I am realistic about the types of people out there though.

You and I are reasonable people. Some people are not.

Katiekatiekatiekay · 06/12/2015 00:26

If you did report to CEOPS you'd need to express more of a concern than just prancing around doing the splits in a swimming costume because there are literally thousands of them and I don't think they'd have time

atreya · 06/12/2015 00:26

Leotard shots Shock

Are you for real, Any? It's what gymnasts wear and is entirely appropriate for their sport. Many, many girls posting gymnastic tricks and tips videos on you tube, as has already been mentioned. The privacy issue, I agree needs addressing, but the talk of gymnastic videos and attire being inappropriate is extreme and I don't quite believe it.

AnyFucker · 06/12/2015 00:27

I am certainly very real

exWifebeginsat40 · 06/12/2015 00:44

my daughter has been groomed. it was a terrible time and made me over-cautious. I would hate for another family to have to go through that.

however, reason must prevail. if you feel uncomfortable about the videos you should absolutely talk to the girl's parents. good luck with explaining how you found them, but you should.

flag the contents with YouTube as well. but CEOPS? yeah, I don't think so. massive overreaction - this would be a step for the parents to take once you have raised your concerns with them. if everyone reported everything to CEOPS all the time, the service would be rendered unusable.

ImtheChristmasCarcass · 06/12/2015 01:05

I agree with a PP who says to flag it to You Tube. They will know whether or not the account is solely hers or whether it's an account the parents have set up, and take appropriate action. It may be that the parents know and approve of the videos.

You may also want to scan any remarks on the videos to see if there is anything particularly concerning to draw to You Tube's attention.

IGotAPea · 06/12/2015 01:14

I'd be concerned about her being searchable by name, not having an alias, and having identifying info in the video.

But videoing the gymnastics I'm on the fence about. Part of me thinks that as there are some creeps out there who have sinister intentions when viewing vids of children, and they should be stopped from doing so.

But, I'm also uncomfortable with the idea in how a girl videoing gymnastics will be viewed in a sexual way so she shouldn't upload it, it has an element making a girl change her totally innocent behaviour because of men who do things beyond her control. Like putting the responsibility to not be perved on, onto her.

I think the lack of privacy settings is the issue, and not videoing gymnastics. It's possible that parents have videoed their dc in tournaments or doing gymnastics at home and have shared the vid on Facebook etc and I think many people wouldn't see a prob with that, it's a child unknowingly allowing access to her profile by anyone that needs addressing imo.

KoalaDownUnder · 06/12/2015 01:14

I agree with AnyFucker, entirely.

Of course leotards are what people wear to do gymnastics. That's not the point.

The point is that it's an 11-year-old girl, who has made herself and her school identifiable, doing gymnastics in a leotard on a public internet site.

Do people really not see the issue? Confused

GreatFuckability · 06/12/2015 01:23

My dd is 12 and makes very similar videos. As do many of her friends. Through making them she is learning skills in editing, production, how to present (wish id had more skills in public speaking at her age!). I don't see the issue.

KoalaDownUnder · 06/12/2015 01:49

If she shares them privately with friends her own age, it's not an issue.

If she puts them on YouTube with her full name and school, then there is an issue. Which is that adult strangers who get their rocks off on seeing prepubescent girls prance around in leotards, who unfortunately are not rare, now know her name and where she goes to school.

I am far from being a 'paedo in every corner' type of person, but I am astonished by some of the naïveté on this thread.

timelytess · 06/12/2015 01:55

It definitely is an issue. Tell the school, they will deal with it.

nooka · 06/12/2015 02:03

If you look up kids/child gymnastics on You Tube there are millions of videos. there are even 10,000 videos of children modeling leotards, in fact having watched a couple I'd say that they are a bit of a thing.

OP is the sort of thing that your DD's friend is doing?

I'd check in with the class teacher and ask them to raise it with the school's child protection officer (or ask for his/her name and contact them directly). If they see an issue they can raise it and they can also give the girl advice on being more sensible online (ie know that your videos may last forever, don't use your name or anything that can identify you too closely etc)

Reporting a video of a child doing perfectly innocent gym routines to a police agency seems like a waste of the OP's time and a waste of the agency's time too. Most likely they will say talk to the school.

atreya · 06/12/2015 02:38

The point is that it's an 11-year-old girl, who has made herself and her school identifiable

If you'll read the thread you'll find that they do agree with that point, and for myself, as I said, only the privacy point.
But the way the Any poster and OP have talked about gymnastics (described by the OP as 'prancing around on YouTube with very little on') and leotards is very inappropriate. Leotard shots indeed!

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