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AIBU?

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Original poster

To tell someone about this 11yo girl's YouTube videos?

249 replies

ScottishGlen · 05/12/2015 23:21

My dd(11-yr6) told me today about a classmate of hers who puts videos on YouTube including showing off her gymnastics skills in her bedroom. Dd wasn't remotely concerned- just told me about the gymnastic because she is interested. I felt a bit uncomfortable about it so searched using the girl's name and surname on YouTube this evening. A whole series of videos from the girl's bedroom came up. All about gymnastics, school, dancing etc. Generally pretty innocent stuff.
However in one of them she is wearing only her swimming costume and bending, stretching and doing the splits right in front of the camera. In another clip she is proudly showing off a pen she won at school, complete with school name and logo. I feel worried that her clips can be accessed by anyone, have her bending and stretching without much on, have her full name on and her school.
What should I do? I only know mum by sight ( and she has a reputation for being a bit fierce) so I don't think I'd be comfortable talking to her. Talk to the girl's class teacher maybe? (She and dd are in the same class) Do nothing and keep my nose out?
I'm also in a dilemma about my DD. She clearly sees no problem with this girl prancing around on YouTube with very little on which worries me. If she knows I have "interfered" by telling someone about these clips she will be mortified and probably less likely to talk to me about things in the future.
Sorry for the long post. Advice appreciated please wise Mumsnetters.

OP posts:
bigbuttons · 06/12/2015 20:47

atreya is a perfect example of someone spoiling for a fight. There's soo many posters doing this atm, sad really.

Brioche201 · 06/12/2015 20:47

It is patently clear that the op is about internet safety

From the OP :-

'this girl prancing around on YouTube with very little on which worries me.'

'she is wearing only her swimming costume and bending, stretching and doing the splits right in front of the camera'

'told me about the gymnastics ... . I felt a bit uncomfortable about it (ie before you knew anything about her privacy lapses)'

AnyFucker · 06/12/2015 20:51

and ?

the op was concerned that a pre pubescent young girl was putting herself out there in skimpy clothes, and then when she found that she had basically put a sign over her head saying "Here I am" she asked what she should do about it

perfectly reasonable, IMO

it takes a village to raise a child and all that

if we all minded our own businesses a bit less, the world would be a better (and safer) place

atreya · 06/12/2015 20:51

So atreya you are suggesting that OP was perving on the child are you? Why not just come out and say it instead of snidy insinuations?

I'm suggesting, and have said, that her language to describe a young gymnast and her attire, was very inappropriate (OP apologised for part of this I'm sure). I really don't know why the mention of gymnastics would make somebody 'uncomfortable' enough to search for somebody online and watch all the videos. It could have just been plain curiosity. Who knows! The OP herself 'Perving' hadn't crossed my mind, and I was asked something similar earlier...

bigbuttons · 06/12/2015 20:52

brioche the fact that the op could view it means that that are noprivacy settings. This is something which the op clearly understood immediately. You did not understand this , however. It might be good for you ( and any DC you have) if you can get to grips with this very important issue.

AnyFucker · 06/12/2015 20:53

you've been asked twice, atreya

does that tell you anything ? at all ?

Brioche201 · 06/12/2015 20:55

'a pre pubescent young girl was putting herself out there in skimpy clothes '

what? Have you any idea how offensive you are being?

Brioche201 · 06/12/2015 20:58

Big buttons she didn't know that before she searched though did she? So, why did she feel uncomforatable enough(her words) to look up this little girls videos?

Brioche201 · 06/12/2015 21:00

..and then show them to her DH? she could have just said they were under her real name .No need for him to view them all unless she was worried about the content.

bigbuttons · 06/12/2015 21:01

I would do the same brioche and I hope that any friend of mine who came across videos like that posted by one of my daughters that could be freely accessed, that they would inform me. Maybe that makes us all pervs?

AnyFucker · 06/12/2015 21:03

That is effectively what she is doing though, brioche. YouTube videos are viewed by all walks of life, if no privacy settings are applied.

You may be ok with that. You might even be ok with that for your daughter. But I would not be, and I would want to know.

atreya · 06/12/2015 21:06

She isn't friends with the girl's parents, bigbuttons. And who would be made uncomfortable enough about the mention of gymnastics (no other issues) to decide to do a search on her in the first place.

theshitestuff · 06/12/2015 21:06

'Putting herself out there'.

theshitestuff · 06/12/2015 21:07

The pejorative language on this thread.

merrymouse · 06/12/2015 21:07

How can it be fine for somebody to have a public YouTube channel about gymnastics and odd that the OP, one of her daughter's friends might watch it? Why would she have to explain anything? Presumably the videos are posted so that people can watch them?

bigbuttons · 06/12/2015 21:08

I would. It's good that there are some of us out there who are aware of potential dangers.

Brioche201 · 06/12/2015 21:09

I don't think she is a perv- of course not!!
But I think she thought there was something intrinsically dodgy about this little girl posting gymnastics videos.I think as a gymnastics parent and coach, that is what some of us find so unacceptable.Not helped by use of terms like 'prancing' and reference to her leotard

merrymouse · 06/12/2015 21:12

No need for him to view them all unless she was worried about the content.

But why on earth wouldn't he view them if they are on YouTube?

Every single last person who posts publicly accessible videos on YouTube is, for better or worse, 'putting themself out there', whether that is Stampy, mumsnet or somebody posting gymnastics videos.

millimat · 06/12/2015 21:12

Open, not sure if you're still reading these (didn't blame her if she's not), but ignore some of these comments. I totally get where you are coming from and would have done the same in your situation.

atreya · 06/12/2015 21:13

Nice to see feminism alive and well. The language has been shocking. From the OP and some other posters, 'putting herself out there in skimpy clothes' to describe a young gymnast Hmm

AnyFucker · 06/12/2015 21:13

if posting gymnastics videos are a common occurence, fair enough

but there have to be some basic ground rules, yes ?

#1 privacy settings so some low life in Colorado or wherever doesn't use them inappropriately (sorry to keep reminding the more sensitive among us, but there is a fair minority of the population of this planet who would do this)

#2 no names, no location

#3 appropriate attire (I don't consider swimwear to be so)

#4 parents have to be absolutely on board

now, we don't know about the latter, but ground rules '#1-4 have been ignored in this case

quite a cause for concern, IMO, and certainly more than enough for a concerned parent with even a tenuous connection to the family concerned to be raising flags

AnyFucker · 06/12/2015 21:14

sorry, ground rules #1-3 have been ignored

theshitestuff · 06/12/2015 21:15

Please explain how a low life in Colorado watching the video causes harm to the child

Brioche201 · 06/12/2015 21:16

#3 appropriate attire (I don't consider swimwear to be so)

what do you think gymnasts wear?

AnyFucker · 06/12/2015 21:17

if I have to explain that, I despair