DP stayed out all night

[Lbee123]

I don't think I'm being unreasonable so I guess it's more a wwyd.

DP had a works conference which was followed by a Christmas party this evening. He planned to stay until after the meal and drive home (wasn't drinking and venue approx 1 hour ish away). The party was scheduled until around midnight but some people had rooms booked in the hotel and the bar would be open plus they are right by a large city popular for nightlife.

I spoke to him around 9.30 and they had just started mains, he had decided to have a drink and was going to get a taxi home once they had finished with dessert(not sure if at this point it was a hint for a lift as I'm 30 weeks pregnant so hadn't been out drinking myself).

Anyway, that's the last I heard from him and he still hasn't come home or been in touch.

I am furious... I think staying out all night with no contact is not okay, he's been known to do this in the past but rarely and not for quite some time.

So firstly aibu to be pissed off? And if I'm not then wwyd?

Long thread, so I have only read your posts, OP. Your DP is immature, irresponsible and selfish.
There is nothing wrong with someone having a night out and staying out all night if that is what they have said they are going to do, but to be in a relationship and not bother to contact you or reply to your messages when the plan changed is unforgivable.
You are 30 weeks pregnant FFS! What sort of reliable parent is he going to be?
He could change I suppose, but the fact he sees this as your issue is not an indication that he will.
I would think long and hard about being with someone with his attitude. You deserve better.

Oh dear, I'm so sorry. He is being very immature and silly. Do you think he is likely to grow up a bit, or not?

Hope your parents are being kind.

I think that was a wise a choice OP. Let your mum look after you for a bit and take some time to think long and hard.

You can't change him but your actions might be the catalyst for him to change himself. He might also take some time to think about how he's been treating you.

1000% agree that the issue here is how little he thinks of you. I could forgive staying out and not letting you know - if the first thing he did was got hold of you & grovelled. The fact that he doesn't think he's in the wrong shows how little respect he has for you, and I'm astonished that he would read your texts and not reply. I would stay at your mums - if possible - for the next few days. You need time to think.

As so many others have said, changing his mind, having too many drinks, deciding to stay over and not letting you know... All really, really irritating and rude, but not the end of the world. Not with grovelling and a real recognition of what was wrong. With the best will in world, everyone has the possibility of being a complete twat within them.

Not apologising afterwards and admitting that he read your texts but just didn't bother replying is absolutely awful.

I'm sorry this is happening to you while you're pregnant. I suppose all you can try to do is to get him to understand quite how (rightly) important this is. I can imagine that this feels so hard to view as a reason to end a relationship, but even you can see that it is symptomatic of something else wrong with how he treats you.

Hope you get some time to think.

Well done and good luck! You can do this- your absence will force him to actually consider what he's done.

Surely, "Jane", you'd just tell your partner you were going to stay there for the night, not lie and ignore your partner.

If so, it's your partner I feel sorry for.

LOL Jane, nice one. 👍

Wow Jane, you're a real treasure cunt

Jane - thank you for the laugh'

Lbee123, you are really really brave. xxxxxxx

When a man shows you what they are in the early stages of relationships you should take note
and run for the hills as they rarely change.

Pity I didn't practice what I preach!

Jane, you're a Class A cunt.

I couldn't think of anything worse than having to keep my partner updated on my plans and whereabouts when I'm trying to have a good night out with my friends.

You couldn't think of anything worse than basic consideration of your pregnant partner.

Thinking not a strong point, obviously.

I'd say most people can very easily think of many worse things.

Good luck with whatever you try to do with that severely compromised thinking ability.

You know what Jane. You're absolutely spot on. I don't know how we all missed that.

That's really thinking outside the box.

And when 2, 5, 10 or whatever years down the line he might just realise...he lost more than he could ever get back.

Just like my ex in fact!

Ha ha Jane. A partner like him wouldn't get the pleasure of my company if he did that to me. Actually the father of my children was quite similar to the OPs where consideration is concerned so kicking him to the kerb when I finally saw sense left me in a position to meet a nice new partner who LOVES coming home to me.
Ex is free to come and go as he pleases but he's lonely and very sorry 'that he lost the best thing he ever had' (his words)
Tough titty mate. You did me a mahoosive favour. Enjoy your freedom. You have it in great quantity

And my ex died estranged from his beloved daughter, son in law, and three gorgeous grandchildren and now another man is helping to raise his grandchildren.

I believe the word you were looking for was ...karma.

Good on you OP

Fwiw I think you've done the right thing

Hope you're ok

How are you OP?