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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be annoyed with my mum for buying a chocolate advent calendar for my 22 month old?

191 replies

BettyBi0 · 04/12/2015 10:30

We've always aimed for low sugar, healthy diet yadayada with our toddler and my Mum knows this.

Anyway, she totally hyped up sending my DD (22 months) an advent calendar which finally arrived yesterday. We opened one door and it had a chocolate inside. DD thought this was the best thing ever but then refused to eat her dinner later shouting CHOCOLATE! Want it!!! Ugh are we going to have this every day of advent?

I'm a bit narked at my mum for sending it tbh as my DD is still little and chocolate is definitely not an everyday thing in our house. I know it's spread over the next 21 days but there is about 200g of Chocolate in that bloom into calendar. I'd never dream of giving her a 200g slab of choc - albeit spread out over 3 weeks.

AIBU it would you think it's fine for a not even 2 year old to expect chocolate every day?

OP posts:
Nanofone · 04/12/2015 14:50

YANBU! I wanted to buy my DGD an advent calendar but I made sure I a) checked I wouldn't be treading on my DDs toes by getting one, and b) asked if she wanted one with or without chocolate. Of course you can say no to a child, get rid of it etc but why put you in that position to start with?

BishopBrennansArse · 04/12/2015 14:53

Oh dear. PFB.

Scaredycat3000 · 04/12/2015 14:53

Chocolate is not a treat, it does not represent joy or fun, it is not a reward for eating other food/good behavior or an essential part of childhood. It is a food that many people have an unhealthy eating relationship with that has low nutritional content and high calorie content. Why would you want to continue our unhealthy cultural obsession?

OP it gets even worse when they start school. That was when my eldest, who doesn't care much for chocolate, started showing me the chocolate he had been given as a reward, he was so excited as he knew what it represented then threw it back in his bag and left it there. Then there's the daily pudding Hmm, if you pick the fruit, because you must need to be bribed to eat fruit obviously, you get a sticker! Stupid, stupid people. And so the cycle continues.

Preminstreltension · 04/12/2015 14:55

Love the MN advice advent calendar idea. MNHQ will be merchandising that idea as we speak, but aplaceonthecouch make sure you get a royalty payment in return for your idea. This could basically be your version of Slade's "Merry Christmas Everybody" - this annual royalty payment is going to be a nice little earner for you in perpetuity.

OP, there's about 5 grams of chocolate in those calendars, literally. Actually I've just looked it up - 3 grams in the Frozen advent calendar. I think you can let it go (see what I did there? Grin)

d270r0 · 04/12/2015 14:57

Hide it and eat it yourself

SweetAdeline · 04/12/2015 15:01

I don't understand the "chocolate is not a treat, doesn't represent joy etc" health advice. Are we supposed to pretend that all food brings us equal enjoyment?

Scaredycat3000 · 04/12/2015 15:04

I should have added my DC eat chocolate when they like. I'm still not sure what to do with DC1's easter chocolate, he's never going to eat it all, likes the odd bit. DC2 would love to live on chocolate, I try to leave lots of fruit accessible to satisfy his sweet tooth, which works when I do it.

Scaredycat3000 · 04/12/2015 15:08

We use chocolate as a reward and use it to cheer ourselves up. We reward children with it, we go on to reward our selves. We celebrate with chocolate and teach our children the same. It's not a magical food! It's all psychological. Why continue?

Scaredycat3000 · 04/12/2015 15:10

Different foods bring enjoyment to different people. Why teach children that chocolate is special?

Preminstreltension · 04/12/2015 15:12

Of course it's not "all psychological". Humans like chocolate on the whole more than they like turnips and that's not because of culture.

We have in addition overlaid some cultural stuff around chocolate and treats and stuff which you can try to mitigate but unless you live in a culture vacuum, some of it you just need to live with or drive yourself mad.

WhattodoSue · 04/12/2015 15:35

There are a lot of humans who like cigarettes and heroin. But that doesn't make it a good thing. We used to give babies whiskey in a bottle, with milk. Now we don't. Sugar is not a healthy part of our diets. Nice tasting, yes, but not healthy. Same with salt. You can't totally avoid sugar or salt, and you shouldn't. But it doesn't mean OP can't limit those things in the early years, should she choose to.

maybebabybee · 04/12/2015 15:39

There are a lot of humans who like cigarettes and heroin.

Yes, because that's exactly the same as one miniscule piece of chocolate Hmm

WhattodoSue · 04/12/2015 15:41

What's a little sip of whiskey in a baby's bottle? It's not like it's a whole glass or a bottle. Just a drop to help them sleep. Times and knowledge changes.

pictish · 04/12/2015 15:43

When you make comparison between a choccy advent calendar and heroin it is time to remove the stick from your bottom.

SweetAdeline · 04/12/2015 15:48

I'm going to start selling broccoli advent calendars. Seeing as preferring chocolate is just psychological I'm sure they'll be a big hit (on Mumsnet anyway Wink).

WhattodoSue · 04/12/2015 15:49

I didn't compare an advent calendar to heroin. That is plainly rediculous Grin The point was in response to the comparison of advent calendars and turnips, and that just because something is pleasurable it doesn't make it good for is. My personal view is that OP has a right to be annoyed because it contradicts her parenting choices. I just don't agree with the idea that chocolate and sugar are totally harmless.

ofallthenerve · 04/12/2015 16:00

I like turnips! Grin

When I was little I used to tell grown ups I was allergic to chocolate. I'm not. I just didn't like it. It made me feel sick! If I said "no thank you I don't like chocolate", I would get "aw everyone likes chocolate, have a little piece" etc until I ate the bloody chocolate. Annoying. I now love chocolate actually but think that's because my tastebuds have been dulled by too much red wine over the years matured. I used to hate cheese and seafood too which I now love. Not the point of the thread sorry!

pictish · 04/12/2015 16:01

The OP has no basis for annoyance whatsoever.
It wasn't done to spite her and her parenting choices...it's just a bloody bog standard festive kindness. No one expects anyone reasonable to feel any anger over it.
She may not want her child to have the advent calendar, but to be annoyed about it is rather up ones own jacksie wouldn't you say?

pictish · 04/12/2015 16:08

P.s Way back when ds1 was a my pfb, I had a row with my mum over her buying my boy chocolate buttons when he was a tiny tot.

What an insufferable twat I was.

WhattodoSue · 04/12/2015 16:08

pictish how do you know? It is possible you are right, but I'm working on the assumption that OP's mum is aware of her DD's parenting choices (e.g limiting sugar). It is possible that OP never talks to her mother and her mother has no idea. In which case I would agree with you. However, given that OP feels annoyed I assumed it was because her mum had ignored what she knows about her DD and GDD. In which case, I disagree with you. Smile

paulapantsdown · 04/12/2015 17:43

You could replace the chocolate with small prices of kale perhaps?

Alfieisnoisy · 04/12/2015 17:44

Sugar isn't harmless no but we are t talking about an all sugar or chocolate diet here. A tiny taste of chocolate isn't going to harm her child.

kali110 · 04/12/2015 17:44

Think yabu.
You can't be mad at your mom when you gave it your dd!
If you weren't happy you never should have given it her in the first place.
She did a nice thing, i don't see it as a way to Undermine your parenting.
How sad some people think that.
I bought my friends dc who is 18 months one ( knowing my friend would eat most of it)
Luckily this is the real world and my mate was happy, not offended or cursing me Hmm

As for giving kids raisins and dried fruit instead, that isn't any better!
Raisins are awful to teeth as they simply stick to them.

I wouldn't have a problem if i was in this situation.
I don't want to make chocolate a one off treat.
I was never denied it and i was always very thin up till my 30s till i got ill. (Even not being able to get out as much i'm still not over weight).
One thing I was denied as a child though was fizzy drinks.
Guess what i now love?
My friend was rarely given any form of treats as she was a chubby child.
When we were teenagers and able to go out on our own she seriously struggled with her weight as she was able to eat what she liked.

Shaz and sugar, i'm so sorry for your losses.
I lost a parent few years ago and i still feel the pain as if it was yesterday xx

DyslexicScientist · 04/12/2015 17:58

Stupid, stupid people. And so the cycle continues.

Totally agree and great post. Sugar is very harmful, pure white a deadly. People still think thisbjunk is perfect reward food. Its only a bit here and a bit there, almost an exucse daily tobfeed this shit. Because cakes are all pretty they are just a fun food., apparently.

ofallthenerve · 04/12/2015 18:13

My DH was denied Coke all his childhood. Guess what he still never touches?