AIBU to be annoyed with my mum for buying a chocolate advent calendar for my 22 month old?

[BettyBi0]

We've always aimed for low sugar, healthy diet yadayada with our toddler and my Mum knows this.

Anyway, she totally hyped up sending my DD (22 months) an advent calendar which finally arrived yesterday. We opened one door and it had a chocolate inside. DD thought this was the best thing ever but then refused to eat her dinner later shouting CHOCOLATE! Want it!!! Ugh are we going to have this every day of advent?

I'm a bit narked at my mum for sending it tbh as my DD is still little and chocolate is definitely not an everyday thing in our house. I know it's spread over the next 21 days but there is about 200g of Chocolate in that bloom into calendar. I'd never dream of giving her a 200g slab of choc - albeit spread out over 3 weeks.

AIBU it would you think it's fine for a not even 2 year old to expect chocolate every day?

Yeah, exactly what DyslexicScientist says. It's thst treat mentality that is so hard to shake in later life.

While one thing won't cause that, her DD will experience this in a multitude of different ways outside of the home, so yeah, I see why the OP does want to reduce it in any way she can. Treats should be time with family, or activities, not just sugar.

I don't think anyone's suggesting the OP doesn't let her daughter near chocolate until her 16th birthday or anything like that, that yes, would probably create some issues. But chocolate and sweets can be enjoyed in healthier ways, in my opinion. Like on actual Christmas day, or on birthdays, or while baking with her mum, as part of fun, social activities. That's very different to having it every day for a month, at such a young age.

For God sake! It's not like the chocolate is a whole bar a day it's a tiny minuscule piece! Just give it after dinner - it doesn't have to be done in the morning. It's a fun thing to do to count down till the big man arrives! Unless your one of these who doesn't believe in lying to their children aswell YABU op

I'm with the ''it's a tiny bit of chocolate every day'' people. You can stick to your principles of healthy eating and still give her treats. When she's older make sure you talk to her about why you limit high sugar treats though and why it's important to eat different things, or she'll be the kid a the children's party who fills up her plate with party rings and chocolate mini-rolls.

I think it unreasonable to give a child a chocolate treat every day, but agree it unlikely to cause major diet/health issues in the future if you do, but my main objection to chocolate advent calendars is just exactly that - the chocolate!!

Opening the little window was enough excitement for my son when he was small & all part of the countdown to Christmas. I'm not at all religious BTW, I just hate the over-fed over-commercialisation of the festive period.

Bah Humbug

DS (14 months) has 3 chocolate advent calendars thanks to GPs! To be fair, he's been given 1 and DH and I have taken the others but I don't think the tiniest piece of milkybar will have too much of an impact on him given the rest of his diet is generally good.

I get it OP. It kind of makes a 'thing' out of a chocolate treat. It's not the amount of chocolate, it's the psychology of advent calendars being a countdown to an exciting day. Every time you open a window you are thinking about the exciting day coming up. If you eat a chocolate every time you do that you are kind of making the excitement something to do with chocolate iyswim. Maybe that's overthinking, but I get why the OP doesn't want to do this with DD. My family are all a bit disfunctional with food so I can be cagey about it.

Whoever suggested putting raisins or dried cranberries in it instead of chocolate, aren't they also full of sugar? Just because it's naturally occurring sugar rather than processed, it has the same effect on blood sugar levels, calorie intake and teeth doesn't it? There are loads of threads on here about raisins being the same as gummy bears etc.

I think you are being a bit PFB about this OP and in a couple of years you will wish this was the biggest battle you had to face! A reusable advent calendar with little non-edible treats would be lovely for next year, but if you want your DD to have a healthy relationship with food you need to stop demonising sweets. As you've seen, forbidding them just makes them all the more exciting!

I agree with the shared family calendar idea this year, although presumably if you don't like your DD eating chocolate that means you don't eat it yourself either? If you do then YAB a hypocrite!

For the record I don't think it will result in anything terrible if she does have a tiny bit of chocolate every day but I still get the slight reluctance on OP's part.

Loving the idea of worthy advent calendars with iron supplements and good advice in them - MN should market them for next year!

I am really anti chocolate Advent calendars.
Not good for teeth, Chocs are not a great thing to have available as my DC open their advent first thing in the morning but most important of all...

...Cos the chocolates taste like shite

I'm 47 and my 3 are all grown up, I've done the advent calendar malarkey, ds3-16 still has one, the older two are away at university.

Have current guidelines and paranoia about the risk of obesity made parents lose their common sense?

Some of the replies here are hilarious.

My daughter is 3 and I made a advent bunting thing and tbh she forgets

I'm the same as purplestar. Had no sweets or chocolate until at least 5. Definitely no chocolate advent calendars. I now have a very sweet tooth, am prone to overeating and although not overweight, I do have blood sugar issues.

I was also that child at parties who was more interested in the food than playing the games.

Forgot to add: my mum is now the worst culprit for Easter eggs and advent calendars so clearly doesn't feel her approach was a success.

I actually feel sorry for your little one. People just want to suck the joy out of life these days. There's healthy eating and there's being ridiculous.

I've bought my neice (2 yrs) and nephew (almost 2), chocolate Advent calendars. It did not cross my mind that it would be a problem. You sound like a party pooper tbh.

I'm old enough to have experienced sweet rationing as a child, and I remember that when sweets came off ration the shelves were cleared within days by the sweet-deprived adults. In fact rationing was re-imposed for several years after that. I enjoy sweets and chocolate but don't crave them and seldom buy them for myself. I really don't see any harm in a little chocolate once a day for the run-up to Christmas. I'm thankful that the parents of my grandchildren aren't so ungrateful as you seem to be.

I doubt I would have had one for my first at that age for the same reasons you say. Why bother, they won't miss it?

DC3 is a different matter! Because DC1 and DC2 have one she has to have one (she's actually 2.5 but it wouldn't matter if she was 22 months as she would see what they are doing and insist on doing it too!).

I suppose at this toddler age it is all about instilling boundaries so she will learn the routine if you give her the choc at the same time each day and keep reinforcing "no, not until after x" if she keeps asking for it.

But if you can't be bothered and would rather put it in the bin I certainly wouldn't blame you!

BTW we're the parents least likely to "forbid" things in our house. I nearly laughed out loud when another mum texted me today to ask if it was ok for DS (age 7) to play Wii at her house tomorrow on a playdate as we allow anything/everything (so she obviously doesn't know me that well!). But it is all in moderation and if things are getting out of hand they are discussed. I really don't think banning advent calendars under 2 falls into the "forbidding sweets" category.

Get your priorities right. You are acting like the fun police towards both your child and your Mum. Your child is more likely to be affected by this than by eating a small piece of chocolate after dinner.
Did you tell your Mum in advance that you didn't want this? If not she just thought she was doing something nice.
Will she need to check out with you every single thing she sends for your child?

Yes YABU.

Hope that helps.

Eat the chocolate yourself some days if you don't want him having it.

One chocolate a day won't kill anyone.

Ah, you've been given a hard time. For what it's worth, YANBU in my opinion. I would have been pissed off it my parents had done that if they also knew I don't choose to give my children sweets. My children haven't had chocolate calendars. They weren't the norm when I was a child, and my children were really happy with the picture ones. They found those super exciting. As they get older I will let them have chocolate ones, but at 22 months I personally wouldn't do it.

I think you're being a little bit precious.

I'm now a 61 year old grandmother but can remember as a young mother in the 1980s when my mother bought DS then about 12 months old a bag of Galaxy counters and he scoffed the lot!

I was a bit peeved at the time but in the overall scheme of things no big deal.

Don't sweat the small stuff!

I don't think you should be annoyed at your mum, you could have easily eaten the chocolate yourself or chucked it away/gave it back. What are you annoyed about? You gave her the chocolate and only seemed to be annoyed once she started wanting more. You're going to have to teach her to eat sweets in moderation eventually but totally up to you when you start.

Chocolate calendars are banned here too. Firstly because I am otherwise easy going about treats and sweets, so a crappy chocolate in an advent calendar is not really a treat, it's just more chocolate, every day.

Secondly I like the picture ones, and tend to buy the charity ones.

Mil has bought them a chocolate advent calendar every year. Every year she claims to "not know" they can't have them. Even then she claims it's OK because it's white chocolate/organic/green and blacks.

But it is also principle with her. It's not uncommon to find her stuffing the kids with chocolate 10 minutes before dinner- "but it's only a little bit", "it's only a square", or "it's Ok, its organic". This is not the kids asking for it, btw, its her saying come and get a bit of chocolate..

It's this mentality- "its just a little bit, it doesn't matter" that I'm trying to avoid. It's the wrong attitude to food in general- if you eat it standing up/off the kids plate/try a bit while cooking- tiny bits don't matter. They do, and often you're far better off having a mars bar once a week than a little bit everyday.

My attitude to eating is very like that, and why I'm overweight. One bag of crisps is only 120 calories, one biscuit is only 70. One won't hurt. The little bits add up far quicker than fewer big bits.